| Author | Message | ||
     Weber_gregston (Weber_gregston) Username: Weber_gregston Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 194.176.105.47 |
I just need to get this off my chest. I think you're an arse. No you're worse than that, you're a festering pustule on the stinking arse of satan and I hope that one day your foetid corpse can only be identified by the teethmarks on my cock. Ah, that feels better. | ||
| Tony (Tony) Username: Tony Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 86.170.178.214 |
Is this a dream? | ||
| Weber_gregston (Weber_gregston) Username: Weber_gregston Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 194.176.105.47 |
Craig, is it true that on your birth certificate, in the box for father's name, it says "I don't know, when you eat a tin of baked beans you don't know which one made you fart"? | ||
| Tony (Tony) Username: Tony Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 86.170.178.214 |
Weber - one comes to regret posting stuff like this. | ||
| Craig (Craig) Username: Craig Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 75.4.249.38 |
Don't worry, Tony - Weber told me someday he'd be insulting me with aplomb, following the threat with smiley faces. ... So I'll take it that way? And assume the day has come? Otherwise I'd be kind of insulted. Oh and by the way? That teeth mark ridge you're talking about? That is your cock. I wish upon you a rare Bull from the Pope of Infinite and Irrevocable Excommunication, demanding your corpse be dug up, violated, and hanged in a public square (Oxford might be nice, would go with that comma). To be followed by ritual defecation, beheading, reburying, re-digging up, reassembling, and so forth, ad infinitum. | ||
| Craig (Craig) Username: Craig Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 75.4.249.38 |
By the way - "Weber" - in the States, we have a product called "Weber's Bread" - it's spongy and white and falls apart easily and lacks all nutriment. 'Nuff said. | ||
| Weber_gregston (Weber_gregston) Username: Weber_gregston Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 194.176.105.47 |
Your mother sucks the farts from dead rats in hell you irritating little oik. | ||
| Gary Fry (Gary_fry) Username: Gary_fry Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 86.26.90.161 |
If you're going to thrash it out, feel free, but do we really need the silly name-calling? | ||
| Weber_gregston (Weber_gregston) Username: Weber_gregston Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 194.176.105.47 |
That didn't take long. 32 minutes. | ||
| Gary Fry (Gary_fry) Username: Gary_fry Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 86.26.90.161 |
Your point being . . . ? | ||
| Weber_gregston (Weber_gregston) Username: Weber_gregston Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 194.176.105.47 |
I emailed craig earlier to ask if he minded me flaming him for no good reason. I wondered how long it would take for you to step in. None of it was serious. Could be a useful thread for people to drop by and vent their spleen Plus it gave me a chance to use the festering pustule line. | ||
| Weber_gregston (Weber_gregston) Username: Weber_gregston Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 194.176.105.47 |
 | ||
| Gary Fry (Gary_fry) Username: Gary_fry Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 86.26.90.161 |
Oh, I see. Well, kind of. | ||
| Weber_gregston (Weber_gregston) Username: Weber_gregston Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 194.176.105.47 |
We were trying to keep it witty (well I was) rather than just plain insulting. | ||
| Gary Fry (Gary_fry) Username: Gary_fry Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 86.26.90.161 |
Oh yeah, like reading an exchange of correspondence between Churchill and Bernard Shaw, that was. | ||
| Des (Des) Username: Des Registered: 06-2008 Posted From: 86.158.59.70 |
I think this is a very silly thread. | ||
| Gary Fry (Gary_fry) Username: Gary_fry Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 86.26.90.161 |
Like we've just opened a creche. | ||
| Mick Curtis (Mick) Username: Mick Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 86.177.118.49 |
"Your majesty is like a stream of piss". | ||
| Steve Jensen (Stevej) Username: Stevej Registered: 07-2009 Posted From: 82.0.77.233 |
Your majesty is like a stream of piss "It was Whistler, Your Majesty!" :D | ||
| Craig (Craig) Username: Craig Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 75.5.5.161 |
Ha! Good times, good times.... Oh, by the way Weber, now that that's over - me and some of the office guys are going to be making a trip to England late this summer - I want to show them the sites, so I was wondering: Is your mom still flashing beaver for a shilling? | ||
| Steve Bacon (Stevebacon) Username: Stevebacon Registered: 09-2008 Posted From: 90.210.209.169 |
The shilling is no longer legal tender. | ||
| Carolinec (Carolinec) Username: Carolinec Registered: 06-2009 Posted From: 82.38.75.85 |
Now tell me good people, is there something wrong with me? I've just come home from a 3 hour evening teaching session, read this thread and thoroughly enjoyed it!  | ||
| Joel (Joel) Username: Joel Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 91.110.203.17 |
It's all right, Weber and Craig, we know you're good mates really. Because we've all seen the film clip where the two of you are fellating the same goat in a murky subterranean realm of fire and eternal damnation. | ||
| Joel (Joel) Username: Joel Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 91.110.203.17 |
Which is why your mock flame war lasted about as long as a snowball in Hell. | ||
| Craig (Craig) Username: Craig Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 75.4.226.122 |
It's all right, Weber and Craig, we know you're good mates really. Because we've all seen the film clip where the two of you are fellating the same goat in a murky subterranean realm of fire and eternal damnation. Oh now Joel, don't be so hard on yourself - your flat was rather nice, actually. And, speaking for Weber too: you're welcome. | ||
| Craig (Craig) Username: Craig Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 75.4.226.122 |
The shilling is no longer legal tender. Let's see... should I go with "That's how long she's been at it" or "Neither is his mom"...? | ||
| Carolinec (Carolinec) Username: Carolinec Registered: 06-2009 Posted From: 82.38.75.85 |
Go on, boys. Fight! Fight!  (only kidding, in case anyone thinks I'm serious) | ||
| Craig (Craig) Username: Craig Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 75.4.226.122 |
You wanna piece of me, Caroline? - YOU WANNA PIECE OF ME?!? Today I'm handing out lollipops and ass-whuppin's - and I'm all out of lollipops! ... I'm also completely out of ass-whuppin's as well, so if you don't mind, I can give you a rain-check, or a coupon for a free smoothie at Jamba Juice. | ||
| Tony (Tony) Username: Tony Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 86.170.178.214 |
Erm, I got quite anxious about this one you know. I wish you'd told me quicker.  | ||
| Mick Curtis (Mick) Username: Mick Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 86.177.118.49 |
You should just have read quicker, Tony! | ||
| Weber_gregston (Weber_gregston) Username: Weber_gregston Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 194.176.105.47 |
"The shilling is no longer legal tender. Let's see... should I go with "That's how long she's been at it" or "Neither is his mom"...?" Go with Neither is his mom. That's quite funny. The other one's just your normal standard you irksome little tick. | ||
| Carolinec (Carolinec) Username: Carolinec Registered: 06-2009 Posted From: 82.38.75.85 |
>>You wanna piece of me, Caroline? - YOU WANNA PIECE OF ME?!? Today I'm handing out lollipops and ass-whuppin's - and I'm all out of lollipops! ... I'm also completely out of ass-whuppin's as well, so if you don't mind, I can give you a rain-check, or a coupon for a free smoothie at Jamba Juice.<< I'll have a free smoothie, please - you old smoothie you.  | ||
| Weber_gregston (Weber_gregston) Username: Weber_gregston Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 194.176.105.47 |
Craig's mum, the original good time that was had by all - except she wasn't, she was shit and she charged too much - even though she only charged a dime. She once did an experiment to see if you could get pregnant through anal sex - and along came Craig... | ||
| Craig (Craig) Username: Craig Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 75.4.235.36 |
The crickets are chirping, Weber... we gonna need some better material here, or you won't be asked back next week.... | ||
| Tony (Tony) Username: Tony Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 86.170.178.214 |
Mick - I did! I read the first two posts very quickly, when they were the only ones. | ||
| Weber_gregston (Weber_gregston) Username: Weber_gregston Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 194.176.105.47 |
"The crickets are chirping, Weber... we gonna need some better material here, or you won't be asked back next week...." NO that's the wind whistling and echoing round your mam's bucketbiff | ||
| Tony (Tony) Username: Tony Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 86.170.178.214 |
Doesn't ANYONE feel a smidge concerned that I was actually worried about another fight starting off, that I thought something nasty was happening? | ||
| Carolinec (Carolinec) Username: Carolinec Registered: 06-2009 Posted From: 82.38.75.85 |
I feel concerned, Tony. It shows you care about the board. You're obviously a real sweetie. But these guys like to play with each other. I've only been here a short while, and I realise that already. Er, when I say they like to "play with each other" that doesn't sound quite the way I intended it. But you know what I mean - I hope!  | ||
| Steve Bacon (Stevebacon) Username: Stevebacon Registered: 09-2008 Posted From: 90.210.209.169 |
Tony, your concern was admirable. | ||
| Joel (Joel) Username: Joel Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 91.110.172.86 |
They like to play with each other in that way too. Preferably with a furry quadruped making up the threesome. In a mouldering sub-zero basement under a rancid derelict slaughterhouse that they love because it's the Hilton Hotel compared to where they live. P.S. Weber and Craig share a flat you know. And a futon. And a toothbrush. And an assortment of non-human sexual partners. And needles. And a single battered copy of Playboy from 1979 whose pages can no longer be separated. And an interminable shaggy-dog story that is their only conversational gimmick. And whatever they pick up at the local youth centre (smallpox most frequently). And a pair of green socks they take turns to wear, sometimes on their feet. And a box set of Craig's favourite films on DVD, all of which are Weber's favourite films also. | ||
| Joel (Joel) Username: Joel Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 91.110.172.86 |
OK, that bit about the box set was going too far. I apologise. | ||
| Ramsey Campbell (Ramsey) Username: Ramsey Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 195.93.21.74 |
Concern? Yes, I felt concerned for the board itself, or my association with it (it seems pointless any longer to write "its association with me"). I fear I wondered what on earth anyone who'd stopped by for the first time would think, and why on earth they would want to come back. And I still do. | ||
| Tony (Tony) Username: Tony Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 86.170.178.214 |
Me too! I've dipped into boards and been entirely put off hanging about them for less. I'm not moaning, or wanting to stop fun, but I was quite chewed over this one... | ||
| Joel (Joel) Username: Joel Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 91.110.159.85 |
Tony, to be honest, I was unconcerned about those two because I know what they're like. And I knew you're too sensible to let them wind you up for longer than a few minutes. Ramsey, I guess you're signalling that this game (which has been fun in a juvenile way, for me at least) has gone on long enough. | ||
| Craig (Craig) Username: Craig Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 75.5.10.38 |
Now, now, in my defense - and Weber can back me up on this one - when he proposed the "joke" to me, I explicitly said, it should be heavily telegraphed to others that it's not real: otherwise it's not a joke, it's just mean; because if there's no evidence of joking in a "joke," then the perps are nothing but dick-heads. Joel, that was highly offensive, what you wrote: to associate my taste in films with Weber's, is almost an unforgivable affront. (Though I do love the "interminable shaggy-dog story that is their only conversational gimmick" - ha!) Actually, the scenario you describe, or watching DONNIE DARKO again... hmm... give me a minute.... What if someone who stops by, read this?... Did I mention I'm really getting into INCARNATE now? It's a great novel - I can't wait each day to get back to it!  | ||
| Gary Fry (Gary_fry) Username: Gary_fry Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 86.26.90.161 |
Personally I found it all very childish. There's no wit here. It's just juvenilia intermingled with copy-pasted Google jokes (eg, the one about baked beans, which I think I first heard in about 1983). I didn't delete the thread because I was first trying to ascertain whether it was serious (if folk have a grievance with one another, I'd rather they sorted it out quickly here, but without any stupid name-calling). When I realised it wasn't, I left it. But that doesn't change my view that it was all just moronic. | ||
| Gary Fry (Gary_fry) Username: Gary_fry Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 86.26.90.161 |
The other thing, Weber, is that again you didn't consider MY position in this 'prank'. Like when you 'reviewed' my book on Amazon. As moderator you put me in a quandary - I didn't know whether to delete this thread or not, whether I would be perceived to be a humourless prig or an ineffectual censor. Only the other day I had to delete the words "go fuck yourself", which you targeted at Joel. Grow up, man. | ||
| Tony (Tony) Username: Tony Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 86.170.178.214 |
You see, now I feel like we're bashing puppies. It just feels like telling a big joke about something like wanking at a conference about childcare - i.e. a bit risky. This place isn't hermetically sealed (though it often feels like it). | ||
| John Llewellyn Probert (John_l_probert) Username: John_l_probert Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 62.31.153.8 |
Tony if it makes you feel any better I've popped in a couple of times recently and been so dismayed at threads that are nothing but utter childishness that I've felt like leaving RCMB altogether. And those shall be my only words on the matter | ||
| Tony (Tony) Username: Tony Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 86.170.178.214 |
That's sad, John. Maybe we should list the most guilty parties and take them to Ramsey's for a caning? This place can so often feel like a pub, with all the good and bad things the similiarity implies. I've been guilty of snapping; I seem to have chased Zed off the board (I was a bit rude about him on facebook recently - I was angry at him - and hadn't realised I'd posted it where all - including he - could see.). Sorry, Zed, if you're still about. You fell victim to my one of two of my only feelings - despair/joy. | ||
| Gary Fry (Gary_fry) Username: Gary_fry Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 86.26.90.161 |
The fault is not to do something beyond the pale - we're all human - but to continue to do so once it's been pointed out. Let's hope comments on this thread are taken onboard and respected in the way they're intended. | ||
| Tony (Tony) Username: Tony Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 86.170.178.214 |
I agree. But a mass caning dealt out by Ramsey might be quite entertaining. I'm sure you could enforce it if you really wanted to. | ||
| Skunsworth (Skunsworth) Username: Skunsworth Registered: 05-2009 Posted From: 88.107.212.160 |
I'd pay to see a mass caning. Not in a pervy way, you understand, but the sociologically interested manner of one who might find value in watching a great author beat people. I would hope that if the man who this forum has been set up to honour (odd word, but I can't find another at the moment) is bothered by this type of thread, maybe there's message there for people. And, Like JLP, that will be all I'll say on the matter. S | ||
| Craig (Craig) Username: Craig Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 75.4.252.43 |
If anyone's satisfied, I've just caned myself thoroughly. I only hope I did it right... long ways up - er - or is it sideways? Yes, let's get past all this nonsense, and on to the - endless punning! | ||
| Carolinec (Carolinec) Username: Carolinec Registered: 06-2009 Posted From: 82.38.75.85 |
... and I must apologise, too, for joining in and egging them on. But I must admit I like a board where you can have a bit of nonsense and messing around - all nice and friendly like - but there is certainly a line over which we've probably crossed on this occasion. Sorry folks! | ||
| Weber_gregston (Weber_gregston) Username: Weber_gregston Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 194.176.105.47 |
"Only the other day I had to delete the words "go fuck yourself", which you targeted at Joel. Grow up, man." You didn't have to, you chose to. Joel had just seriously offended me and that was how I felt about him at that moment. It was the first time I've ever seriously "spoken" to anyone like that on this board and considering how shit my personal life is at the moment and how close I feel to snapping completely it was a fairly restrained comment. If I'm such an immature moron and (as joel claimed in that thread) a fundamentally dishonest deluded idiot, maybe I should just realise that I'm not worthy to be posting on this board with your esteemed selves. | ||
| Joel (Joel) Username: Joel Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 217.37.199.45 |
Weber, I'm sorry you feel that way, and I'm sorry that things are not easy for you just now. I didn't call you an idiot, and I argued only that you were being (intellectually) dishonest in relation to a specific issue – not that you were dishonest in any wider sense. My anger (like yours, as far as I can see) related to the topic and was not personal. Let's not make more of this than it deserves. | ||
| Gary Fry (Gary_fry) Username: Gary_fry Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 86.26.90.161 |
Weber, I'm sorry you feel this way, too, but if that's your response and you're sticking to it, there's not much else anyone can say or do. For the record, you will remain a member, just as Albie has, but any more imflammatory language or stuff that the board's owner regards as inappropriate will have to be deleted. If you can't live with that, then . . . well, as you suggest above, you don't have to. It's your choice. | ||
| Carolinec (Carolinec) Username: Carolinec Registered: 06-2009 Posted From: 82.38.75.85 |
Woah, boys (and this time I'm definitely being serious). Messages on the internet can be taken the wrong way and get out of hand - we all know that. I haven't been around here long, but you're nice folks. I'm sure no harm has been meant by anyone here. I know from personal experience that if you're getting a lot of life's problems thrown your way at any particular time, it can be even easier to (a) take things the wrong way and (b) say or do things in a manner which is taken the wrong way by others. Can we not just recognise what's happened here, draw a line under it, learn from it - and start to respect each other (and, more importantly, this board and Ramsey's wishes) again? Group hug, anyone? | ||
| Gary Fry (Gary_fry) Username: Gary_fry Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 86.26.90.161 |
I don't think anyone's suggesting anything other than that, Caroline. I'd say the ball was now in Weber's court. He's a valued member of the board, as far as I'm concerned, and it will be shame to lose him, if that's what he decides. | ||
| Craig (Craig) Username: Craig Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 75.5.4.119 |
I warned Weber... I told him the British have no sense of humor... oh, wait.... We too often take the white scratch-marks on a black background WAAAAAY to seriously here. | ||
| Carolinec (Carolinec) Username: Carolinec Registered: 06-2009 Posted From: 82.38.75.85 |
.. and I'm still up for a virtual group hug if anyone wants one. At my age, I have to get my kicks somehow, don't I? | ||
| Skunsworth (Skunsworth) Username: Skunsworth Registered: 05-2009 Posted From: 88.107.131.100 |
At your age? Are you our collective maiden aunt? I have visions of white-haired and doddery now, and it's messing with my head! S | ||
| Gary Fry (Gary_fry) Username: Gary_fry Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 86.26.90.161 |
Caroline, are you like that woman in The Long Lost? | ||
| Joel (Joel) Username: Joel Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 217.37.199.45 |
No, she's like "At my age, I have to get my kicks somehow, don't I?" I'm assuming that as one who is down with the kidz, you're aware that 'like' is a synonym for 'said'. Unless it's simply there for emphasis, as in "It's like ten o'clock and I'm still on the Net." | ||
| Gary Fry (Gary_fry) Username: Gary_fry Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 86.26.90.161 |
kk lol o m g I can speak child. | ||
| Skunsworth (Skunsworth) Username: Skunsworth Registered: 05-2009 Posted From: 88.107.131.100 |
rofl! lmao! wtf? | ||
| John Llewellyn Probert (John_l_probert) Username: John_l_probert Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 213.253.174.81 |
Gr8! | ||
| Carolinec (Carolinec) Username: Carolinec Registered: 06-2009 Posted From: 82.38.75.85 |
Oh heck, what have I started here now? Still, it's lightened the mood anyway - which was my sole intention. I'll keep you all guessing as to how old/young, fit/doddery, white-haired, capable of understanding text-speak, etc, I may be. And those of you who've met me - shhh! don't tell them! | ||
| Craig (Craig) Username: Craig Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 75.4.250.150 |
Glad that teapot-tempest is over. And know ye always, that where two or three are gathered together unto my my name, there I am in the midst of you.... | ||
| Stephen Walsh (Stephenw) Username: Stephenw Registered: 03-2009 Posted From: 194.72.14.113 |
Caroline, I've been reading this thread with increasing consternation and am still concerned about Weber's welfare. This comment says all anyone needs to know about you: Woah, boys (and this time I'm definitely being serious). Messages on the internet can be taken the wrong way and get out of hand - we all know that. I haven't been around here long, but you're nice folks. I'm sure no harm has been meant by anyone here. I know from personal experience that if you're getting a lot of life's problems thrown your way at any particular time, it can be even easier to (a) take things the wrong way and (b) say or do things in a manner which is taken the wrong way by others. Can we not just recognise what's happened here, draw a line under it, learn from it - and start to respect each other (and, more importantly, this board and Ramsey's wishes) again? Group hug, anyone? I don't care whether you're young, old, fit, decrepit or whatever... you care and that's all that matters. I think as well as a group hug a group round of applause is called for. Now, will you marry me? | ||
| Carolinec (Carolinec) Username: Carolinec Registered: 06-2009 Posted From: 82.38.75.85 |
>>Now, will you marry me?<< Blimey, I've not had a proposal like that in some time! But you don't know what happened to my last husband, do you? (in fact, we're just about to celebrate XXXXXX years of married bliss - sorry!) But being serious again, yes, I'm concerned about Weber too. Are you OK old fella? (or young fella - I don't know which) | ||
| Gary Fry (Gary_fry) Username: Gary_fry Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 86.26.90.161 |
Yeah, come on, Weber. Come on back to us. | ||
| Weber_gregston (Weber_gregston) Username: Weber_gregston Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 212.121.214.11 |
I hope you're not trying to appeal to my better nature. You know I haven't got one. A please please grovel grovel beg wouldn't have gone amiss... | ||
| Gary Fry (Gary_fry) Username: Gary_fry Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 86.26.90.161 |
Actually I've just changed my mind. Bugger off, ye blithe bugger! [irony] | ||
| Carolinec (Carolinec) Username: Carolinec Registered: 06-2009 Posted From: 82.38.75.85 |
Hey, folks. Weber must be OK - he's pushing his luck again! | ||
| Stephen Walsh (Stephenw) Username: Stephenw Registered: 03-2009 Posted From: 82.4.20.22 |
...and all is right again with the universe. |