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Mark_lynch (Mark_lynch)
Username: Mark_lynch

Registered: 03-2008
Posted From: 217.171.129.72
Posted on Friday, September 11, 2009 - 03:57 pm:   

James Patterson has signed an alleged multi-million deal to produce seventeen (that's 17) books. He estimates, using his 'collaborators', that this will take him three years.

All I can think to say is that at least it won't affect the quality of his 'products.'
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Frank (Frank)
Username: Frank

Registered: 09-2008
Posted From: 213.158.199.77
Posted on Friday, September 11, 2009 - 03:57 pm:   

Sorry, mate, but who's James Patterson?
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Carolinec (Carolinec)
Username: Carolinec

Registered: 06-2009
Posted From: 82.38.75.85
Posted on Friday, September 11, 2009 - 05:06 pm:   

I was about to ask that too, Frank.

I've seen something on another board about a fairly well-known author using "collaborators" or ghost writers to write his books. I won't mention who it is just in case I've got it wrong and somebody sues! Anyway, it sounds a bit suspect to me. I mean if I'm buying a book by Author X, I want to make sure it's really written by Author X. Not only that, but when a reader knows an author's work well, surely they can tell whether it's been written by the real thing or not?
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Frank (Frank)
Username: Frank

Registered: 09-2008
Posted From: 213.158.199.77
Posted on Friday, September 11, 2009 - 05:49 pm:   

I was about to ask that too, Frank.

Oh, really, were you indeed.

I see. Trying to cosy up to me now that Weber's run off down the Pink Parrot with the pert ass brigade.

Take a hike, lady. There ain't room on this thread for three of us.
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Gary Fry (Gary_fry)
Username: Gary_fry

Registered: 03-2008
Posted From: 86.26.90.161
Posted on Friday, September 11, 2009 - 05:57 pm:   

They're franchising them when they're still alive now . . .
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Mark_lynch (Mark_lynch)
Username: Mark_lynch

Registered: 03-2008
Posted From: 217.171.129.68
Posted on Friday, September 11, 2009 - 06:18 pm:   

Patterson is the world's best-selling living writer at the moment. He's probably best-known for writing the Alex Cross crime novels, a couple of which have been filmed with Morgan Freeman in the lead.

Patterson's novels are 'noted' for their short chapters - usually 3 pages long, with a lot od white space - and his books are often referred to as the product of a production line, 'The James Patterson Factory', as he 'overviews' the writing of 'his' novels, coming up with the plots and shipping the writing to his collaborators.

Oh, and the books, unsurprisingly, are dire.
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Mark_lynch (Mark_lynch)
Username: Mark_lynch

Registered: 03-2008
Posted From: 217.171.129.68
Posted on Friday, September 11, 2009 - 06:22 pm:   

Iain Banks, incidentally, a far superior writing, has taken a pay cut for his new book, he says, while reporting that some writers he knows have had advances reduced by 80%, while others are getting nothing.

What's that quote? Something like, 'Writing is the only endeavour where people don't think you're a fool for earning no money at it'...
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Mark_lynch (Mark_lynch)
Username: Mark_lynch

Registered: 03-2008
Posted From: 217.171.129.68
Posted on Friday, September 11, 2009 - 06:24 pm:   

And another by the way: Banks's new book is being given away free as a weekly podcast via i-tunes, should any of you lucky folk with broadband and an i-tunes account fancy it....
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Frank (Frank)
Username: Frank

Registered: 09-2008
Posted From: 213.158.199.77
Posted on Friday, September 11, 2009 - 06:26 pm:   

Oh, fuck me. Yes, I remember some Canadian 'kid' teacher in Poland who kept telling one of my friends to ditch the writing/poetry and make some hard earned cash, and he always had one of these novels in his hand...no, it wasn't super-glued to it...yeah, annoying cunt.

So, that's what he was reading.

Kiss The Girls and ..... that one with Charlie Therzon before she won the Oscar for Monster (good film).

Thanks, Lynchy. That clarifies what I always suspected.

So this Patterson calls himself a writer. Does his pronunciation of writer sound anything like TWAT.

Sorry for the vulgar use of language, folks. TWAT and CUNT are reserved for purveyors of everything terrible and dishonourable.
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Frank (Frank)
Username: Frank

Registered: 09-2008
Posted From: 213.158.199.77
Posted on Friday, September 11, 2009 - 06:28 pm:   

Hey, what happened to the automatic censoring thingy?

Prof - the censoring machine is broken...hey!!! Are you listening...the machine that replaces letters with red star thingys is kaput...
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Weber_gregston (Weber_gregston)
Username: Weber_gregston

Registered: 03-2008
Posted From: 194.176.105.47
Posted on Friday, September 11, 2009 - 06:30 pm:   

Try using TWUNT instead of either of your naughty words used above.
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Frank (Frank)
Username: Frank

Registered: 09-2008
Posted From: 213.158.199.77
Posted on Friday, September 11, 2009 - 06:36 pm:   

TWUNT.
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Frank (Frank)
Username: Frank

Registered: 09-2008
Posted From: 213.158.199.77
Posted on Friday, September 11, 2009 - 06:37 pm:   

Bollocks to it.

Weber - see. Together we can bring down the tone of any decent thread.
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Gary Fry (Gary_fry)
Username: Gary_fry

Registered: 03-2008
Posted From: 86.26.90.161
Posted on Friday, September 11, 2009 - 07:18 pm:   

hmm . . .
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Mark_lynch (Mark_lynch)
Username: Mark_lynch

Registered: 03-2008
Posted From: 217.171.129.72
Posted on Friday, September 11, 2009 - 07:30 pm:   

I see my work here is done.

If anyone's interested, about ten to eight this evening the space station will be visible over Yorkshire, depending on clouds. Saw it last night. Looked grand. Solar array visible as it reached the zenith.
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Carolinec (Carolinec)
Username: Carolinec

Registered: 06-2009
Posted From: 82.38.75.85
Posted on Friday, September 11, 2009 - 08:28 pm:   

>>If anyone's interested, about ten to eight this evening the space station will be visible over Yorkshire, depending on clouds. Saw it last night. Looked grand. Solar array visible as it reached the zenith.<<

Really, Mark? Which part of Yorkshire? It's now 7.30 pm. I think I might rush outside shortly ...

>>I was about to ask that too, Frank.

Oh, really, were you indeed.

I see. Trying to cosy up to me now that Weber's run off down the Pink Parrot with the pert ass brigade.

Take a hike, lady. There ain't room on this thread for three of us.<<


Aw, Frank, my lovely online friend. I haven't really upset you, have I?
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Frank (Frank)
Username: Frank

Registered: 09-2008
Posted From: 213.158.199.88
Posted on Friday, September 11, 2009 - 09:05 pm:   

Caroline - married or not, you'll always be my online Goddess.

Middle-aged...lovely.
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Carolinec (Carolinec)
Username: Carolinec

Registered: 06-2009
Posted From: 82.38.75.85
Posted on Friday, September 11, 2009 - 09:34 pm:   

Frank - will anything I do or say put you off me?

Anyway, I went outside to see if I could see this space station, but didn't catch sight of it. There was a lovely red mackerel sky though.

Conversation between me and hubby went like this when I dashed out:

Me: Just heard online we might be able to see the space station in Yorkshire tonight.

Hubby: Didn't know we had a space station in Yorkshire.

And to think I married him for his sense of humour ..
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Frank (Frank)
Username: Frank

Registered: 09-2008
Posted From: 213.158.199.88
Posted on Friday, September 11, 2009 - 10:44 pm:   

Caroline - your hubby's comments almost made me knock over my girlfriend's glass of wine I laughed so much.

And no, nothing you say or do will spoil the time we had together. (;
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Mark_lynch (Mark_lynch)
Username: Mark_lynch

Registered: 03-2008
Posted From: 217.171.129.73
Posted on Saturday, September 12, 2009 - 11:25 am:   

I didn't see it either. Too many clouds, same variety. Did see it, following shuttle, the night before, though. Was grand.
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Zed (Gary_mc)
Username: Gary_mc

Registered: 03-2008
Posted From: 81.96.240.106
Posted on Saturday, September 12, 2009 - 11:44 am:   

Good for him. If people are dumb enough to read these things, and publishers are silly enough to pay, then I'm not going to condem him. I wish it were me - then I wouldn't have to spend my life doing a job a loathe and only ever writing when I should be sleeping.
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Gary Fry (Gary_fry)
Username: Gary_fry

Registered: 03-2008
Posted From: 86.26.90.161
Posted on Saturday, September 12, 2009 - 12:50 pm:   

Shudder. Even Shaun Hutson cares for his fans.
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Zed (Gary_mc)
Username: Gary_mc

Registered: 03-2008
Posted From: 81.96.240.106
Posted on Saturday, September 12, 2009 - 04:42 pm:   

Do you reckon that deal includes ebook right?

http://io9.com/5357640/night-shade-books-jeremy-lassen-on-the-future-of-book+buy ing
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Craig (Craig)
Username: Craig

Registered: 03-2008
Posted From: 75.4.231.31
Posted on Saturday, September 12, 2009 - 05:03 pm:   

Caroline - your hubby's comments almost made me knock over my girlfriend's glass of wine I laughed so much.

This is an odd comment... what are you doing with your girlfriend's glass of wine?... if your girlfriend is there in the room, having a nice glass of wine with you - what are you doing online, ignoring her?...

I think we've gotten a sordid window into Frank's rapidly-crumbling relationships....
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Frank (Frank)
Username: Frank

Registered: 09-2008
Posted From: 213.158.199.87
Posted on Saturday, September 12, 2009 - 07:04 pm:   

She was on the toilet oh Lady Caroline, and was online herself just minutes before...what's this...treat them mean to keep them keen???
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Frank (Frank)
Username: Frank

Registered: 09-2008
Posted From: 213.158.199.87
Posted on Saturday, September 12, 2009 - 07:08 pm:   

Zed - you don't mean that, pal. Yes, the money would be nice, but not for pretending to be something you're not. That's not writing, mate, and you know that. He knows that, but clearly couldn't give two stuffs about it.

An stop complaining about writing when you should be sleeping, because you bloody love it and you know it.
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Zed (Gary_mc)
Username: Gary_mc

Registered: 03-2008
Posted From: 81.96.240.106
Posted on Saturday, September 12, 2009 - 08:10 pm:   

of course I don't mean it - I was being cynical and hardboiled.
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Mark_lynch (Mark_lynch)
Username: Mark_lynch

Registered: 03-2008
Posted From: 217.171.129.74
Posted on Saturday, September 12, 2009 - 09:05 pm:   

Like a prickly egg.
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Mark_lynch (Mark_lynch)
Username: Mark_lynch

Registered: 03-2008
Posted From: 217.171.129.74
Posted on Saturday, September 12, 2009 - 09:07 pm:   

Which in most cases is better than an eggy...
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Mark_lynch (Mark_lynch)
Username: Mark_lynch

Registered: 03-2008
Posted From: 217.171.129.74
Posted on Saturday, September 12, 2009 - 09:08 pm:   

Hey, the emoticons aren't working either!

(Smiley after the first of the two immediately above, and tongue on the one after that.)
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Zed (Gary_mc)
Username: Gary_mc

Registered: 03-2008
Posted From: 81.96.240.106
Posted on Saturday, September 12, 2009 - 09:37 pm:   

Like a prickly egg

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Mark_lynch (Mark_lynch)
Username: Mark_lynch

Registered: 03-2008
Posted From: 217.171.129.70
Posted on Saturday, September 12, 2009 - 11:18 pm:   

My plonkerdom. I forgot: I can't make the emoticons work from my phone...

:-(
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Mark_lynch (Mark_lynch)
Username: Mark_lynch

Registered: 03-2008
Posted From: 217.171.129.70
Posted on Saturday, September 12, 2009 - 11:21 pm:   

A Wilf Lunn (from Vision On, remember him? Writes a column for the Huddersfield Examiner newspaper now)... Anyway, as I was saying, a Wilf Lunn observation joke:

Eggs come out of a chicken thick end first so the chicken doesn't close with a bang.

That gag may explain why he also restores boats for a living now. His autobiography is out, Part One. I think it may be self-published.

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