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Steve Jensen (Stevej)
Username: Stevej

Registered: 07-2009
Posted From: 82.0.77.233
Posted on Saturday, September 26, 2009 - 02:51 pm:   

...at The Whitechapel Society's website:

http://www.whitechapelsociety.com/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=109& Itemid=35

Quote:
WINNING PRIZE - £100.00
DEADLINE - October 3rd 2009
Competition Judge, Brian L Porter
(Author of the award winning ĎA Study in Redí, soon to made into a feature movie).

Your story must use the following sentence at the start of your entry:
The day after the murder everyone was talking about Jack the Ripper....
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Frank (Frank)
Username: Frank

Registered: 09-2008
Posted From: 213.158.199.79
Posted on Saturday, September 26, 2009 - 02:52 pm:   

That's more your territory, Steve. Give it a go, mate.
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Steve Jensen (Stevej)
Username: Stevej

Registered: 07-2009
Posted From: 82.0.77.233
Posted on Saturday, September 26, 2009 - 02:58 pm:   

I would do, chief, but the entry fee is a bit beyond my means (it's not expensive to enter - £5 - but I have to budget quite strictly these days).

Funnily enough, I've got half of a suitable story already written - a Wilde/Holmes pastiche that could be reworked.

Actually, judging by what I've read of your work, you could enter the contest; and do well, I think. :-)
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Frank (Frank)
Username: Frank

Registered: 09-2008
Posted From: 213.158.199.91
Posted on Saturday, September 26, 2009 - 04:03 pm:   

Steve - thanks, mate. But I really do think it's definitely down your whitechapel alley.
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Steve Jensen (Stevej)
Username: Stevej

Registered: 07-2009
Posted From: 82.0.77.233
Posted on Saturday, September 26, 2009 - 07:23 pm:   

Damn...my mum has offered to lend me the entry fee, so I've no excuse.
Now I'm nervous as hell about my story.
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Huw (Huw)
Username: Huw

Registered: 03-2008
Posted From: 218.168.183.111
Posted on Saturday, September 26, 2009 - 10:57 pm:   

Steve - write is as though Jack the Ripper was in fact a.... VAMPIRE! You never know, it might attract a 5-figure advance from some publisher or even movie rights...
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Steve Jensen (Stevej)
Username: Stevej

Registered: 07-2009
Posted From: 82.0.77.233
Posted on Saturday, September 26, 2009 - 11:20 pm:   



I wouldn't mind betting that someone's already written such a book, Huw. :-)

In other news...

Coming soon from award-losing author Steve Jensen: 'War and Peace and Werewolves'...
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John Llewellyn Probert (John_l_probert)
Username: John_l_probert

Registered: 03-2008
Posted From: 80.229.90.65
Posted on Sunday, September 27, 2009 - 12:45 pm:   

Steve - write is as though Jack the Ripper was in fact a.... VAMPIRE!

Oh well done Huw! That's earned the biggest JLP chuckle of the morning

Yours currently working on "Crime & Punishment and the Wrestling Women Vs The Aztec Mummy"
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Zed (Gary_mc)
Username: Gary_mc

Registered: 03-2008
Posted From: 81.96.240.106
Posted on Sunday, September 27, 2009 - 01:01 pm:   

I'm doing Great Expectations with hermaphroditic were-pig midgets.
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Zed (Gary_mc)
Username: Gary_mc

Registered: 03-2008
Posted From: 81.96.240.106
Posted on Sunday, September 27, 2009 - 01:04 pm:   

Actually, that sounds quite good.
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Gary Fry (Gary_fry)
Username: Gary_fry

Registered: 03-2008
Posted From: 82.3.95.168
Posted on Sunday, September 27, 2009 - 01:19 pm:   

Ham-let might work better in that scenario. Kevin Bacon is already signed up for the film version. I called him earlier - there was a dreadful crackling on the line. But he said once he'd shifted a bout of swine flu, he'd enlist with one stipulation: he gets to give Ophelia a damned good porking.
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John Llewellyn Probert (John_l_probert)
Username: John_l_probert

Registered: 03-2008
Posted From: 80.229.90.65
Posted on Sunday, September 27, 2009 - 01:57 pm:   

Is that after he finishes playing Del Trotter in the Only Fools & Horses movie? I hear there was a problem with the darts match scene because he bristles every time he sees a board
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Steve Jensen (Stevej)
Username: Stevej

Registered: 07-2009
Posted From: 82.0.77.233
Posted on Monday, September 28, 2009 - 01:58 pm:   

Well, I've sent off my competition entry now. A Holmes/Wilde/Ripper mash-up isn't the most original of ideas perhaps but the story was enjoyable to write & that's what really counts.

Sadly my stories seem to be all talk and no action...rather like my love life.

Anyway, the deadline for entries is October 3rd, if anyone fancies a go. :-)
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Craig (Craig)
Username: Craig

Registered: 03-2008
Posted From: 75.4.229.186
Posted on Monday, September 28, 2009 - 04:13 pm:   

Here's my entry:

... AND WE NEVER SAW HIM AGAIN

by Craig Schwartz

"The day after the murder everyone was talking about Jack the Ripper and how he seemed to have vanished. All the people breathed a great big sigh of relief. Especially the whores."

The End.
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Weber_gregston (Weber_gregston)
Username: Weber_gregston

Registered: 03-2008
Posted From: 194.176.105.47
Posted on Monday, September 28, 2009 - 04:19 pm:   

I've just emailed you Craig
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Weber_gregston (Weber_gregston)
Username: Weber_gregston

Registered: 03-2008
Posted From: 194.176.105.47
Posted on Monday, September 28, 2009 - 04:32 pm:   

Oh sod it. For those of you who don't like my gallows humour, don't bother reading the rest of this post.

The true last line to Craig's story above is...


Except for Suicide Sally who was really pissed off.
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Craig (Craig)
Username: Craig

Registered: 03-2008
Posted From: 75.4.229.186
Posted on Monday, September 28, 2009 - 04:52 pm:   

Wait, Weber, you've only done the penultimate line - it then goes:

"She had slit her own belly from breastplate to mons, and lay there, waiting... as her minutes ticked away... for the dark man of her dreams to remove her liver, oh so lovingly...."
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Weber_gregston (Weber_gregston)
Username: Weber_gregston

Registered: 03-2008
Posted From: 194.176.105.47
Posted on Monday, September 28, 2009 - 05:10 pm:   

So when you said "The End" up there it was all a big lie?

You lying bloody liar you!!!
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Weber_gregston (Weber_gregston)
Username: Weber_gregston

Registered: 03-2008
Posted From: 194.176.105.47
Posted on Monday, September 28, 2009 - 05:12 pm:   

And you missed the word "To" after "Had" in that apparently final sentence.
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Steve Jensen (Stevej)
Username: Stevej

Registered: 07-2009
Posted From: 82.0.77.233
Posted on Monday, September 28, 2009 - 05:23 pm:   

I quite liked that spoof show Bullsh*t or Not? which asked its viewers:
'Was the Loch Ness Monster really Jack the Ripper?'
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Kate (Kathleen)
Username: Kathleen

Registered: 09-2009
Posted From: 93.96.181.75
Posted on Tuesday, September 29, 2009 - 09:53 am:   

I'm writing a story for this competition. And it's a giallo!

I'll be working on it during my transatlantic flight. The last time I went to visit my parents I unnerved the gentleman next to me by watching Re-Animator on my laptop. Alas, the battery won't last long enough for a film now, so any nosy neighbours will have to be content with my mock Daily Mail headlines.
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Steve Jensen (Stevej)
Username: Stevej

Registered: 07-2009
Posted From: 82.0.77.233
Posted on Tuesday, September 29, 2009 - 09:58 am:   

I'm writing a story for this competition.

Daaaaaammnnn! I knew I shouldn't have publicised the competition!

Seriously, best of luck, Kate. :-)
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Frank (Frank)
Username: Frank

Registered: 09-2008
Posted From: 213.158.199.71
Posted on Tuesday, September 29, 2009 - 05:29 pm:   

Kate - watching the Re-Animator on your laptop...perhaps I should do the same come Xmas on my virginal flight back home...maybe then I won't try and claw my way into the cockpit and deliberately try and crash the plane.
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Kate (Kathleen)
Username: Kathleen

Registered: 09-2009
Posted From: 93.96.181.75
Posted on Tuesday, September 29, 2009 - 07:19 pm:   

I always travel with my good friend Mr Xanax when I fly. He helps a lot with those urges to jump out of my seat and start screaming that there's a man on the wing of the plane.
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Frank (Frank)
Username: Frank

Registered: 09-2008
Posted From: 213.158.199.71
Posted on Tuesday, September 29, 2009 - 08:55 pm:   

Kate - that would be different, that'd make the TZ nut I am scream with unadulterated delight. Mind you, if I looked out and saw Shatner clambering along the wing, tearing up the cowling plates, Mr Xanax would prove a futile little drug.

Seriously, does Xanax really work? I'm a real phobic when it comes to this flying nightmare.
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Steve Jensen (Stevej)
Username: Stevej

Registered: 07-2009
Posted From: 82.0.77.233
Posted on Tuesday, September 29, 2009 - 08:59 pm:   

Christ, I know nothing of the world - I assumed Xanax was the brand of your laptop, Kate.
I only wish I was joking.
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Kate (Kathleen)
Username: Kathleen

Registered: 09-2009
Posted From: 93.96.181.75
Posted on Wednesday, September 30, 2009 - 04:47 am:   

Dear me, Steve!

And Frank - seriously, it does work. It's designed for panic attacks, so it works FAST. Definitely get some to take with you. You might not need it (I don't always), but think of it like car insurance. And if you DO need it, mmmmm... well, then you can relax and enjoy the ride.

(As you can tell from the time I'm posting this, I'm up at stupid o'clock to catch my plane. Think happy thoughts skyward, everyone!)
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Frank (Frank)
Username: Frank

Registered: 09-2008
Posted From: 213.158.199.79
Posted on Wednesday, September 30, 2009 - 07:42 am:   

Kate - my phobic thoughts are with you, dear, have a safe trip, and here's to having a trusty Stuart Gordon DVD to watch!
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Tony (Tony)
Username: Tony

Registered: 03-2008
Posted From: 81.157.22.201
Posted on Wednesday, September 30, 2009 - 10:47 am:   

I don't know why I'm putting this here. It did make me laugh.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U2D-T6O7myQ

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