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     Kate (Kathleen) Username: Kathleen Registered: 09-2009 Posted From: 93.96.181.75 |
I began to suspect the writer/director of "Sorority Row" had a vomit fetish because within the first 10 minutes a girl spews while kissing her two-timing boyfriend (though she's just acting - to "teach him a lesson"). Naughty Boyfriend pukes several times when the sisters decide to hide the not-actually-dead-but-he's-the-only-one-who-doesn't-know-that body. Queen Bee Bitch Sister rolls her eyes. "Can we please try not to leave our DNA all over the place?" Later on, Bulimic Slutty Sister is making out with a guy who says, "Ugh, you taste like vomit." She replies, "That's because I just threw up. But I ate a mint so you're OK." Anyway, this film marks a first for me. I have never texted during a movie at the cinema before, but I was Just. So. BORED. The whole story could have fit into a music video. It felt like 80% padding. And really crap padding at that. The uninspired death scenes flash by in a heartbeat while drunken party/hazing/shower scenes go on and on and on. And they're not even hot. I should put a spoiler warning in this post but I honestly can't imagine anyone not being able to predict every single step. I mean, you KNOW the girl who goes off alone to shut down the hot tub isn't coming back alive. Right? Carrie Fisher plays the house mom in a role I'm sure was pitched to her as "Big Bad Mama" but which was more "Heifer in a Housecoat". She looked AWFUL.  Overall it's dull, predictable and just LAME. I lost count of all the fake scares. People just kept turning around and being startled by someone who'd sneaked up on them. I also lost count of the number of times the "sisterhood" theme was hammered home. "Secrecy and solidarity!" Of course we also had the is-it-supernatural-or-not hooded shadowy killer with the pimped-out tyre iron who Princess Leia couldn't hit in the kitchen with eight shotgun blasts. None of which bring the police. Also, the house burns through the entire final 15 minutes of the film before the fire brigade turn up. Perhaps they were hoping the film would burn with it. There was one bit of dialogue that made me laugh. The girls are preparing for a party and Bulimic Slutty Sister says, "I'd better go see my shrink for some oxys." A boy says, "Hey, if you blow him maybe you can get enough for all of us!" She sighs and comes back with something along the lines of "That would be very painful for me - he's an ass man."  She does go see him, and we spend an interminable amount of time watching her creep through his (house? office?) calling his name and looking around warily. "Come on, Dr Rosenberg, I don't have time for catch-me-rape-me." Dear me. Oh, and Queen Bee Bitch Sister also has a good line. Cardboard Boyfriend no. ? gets killed and knocked into a (wall? dumbwaiter?) with only his legs visible. QBBS spots him: "Oh my God, it's [name disguised to avoid spoilers]! I'd recognise those ugly-ass shoes anywhere." Surely I can find SOMETHING I liked about it. Yeah, all right. The setup was pretty good. And I could almost hear Lord P laughing with me at the bit where it All Goes Wrong. While Dead Sister is still just pretending to be dead, Geek Sister says, "We can't throw her in the lake. We learned in pre-med that if there's air in the lungs the body will just float back up." So Naughty Boyfriend spikes her through the chest with a tyre iron to remove the air. One of those moments when you wish real life had a BACK button. | ||
| Zed (Gary_mc) Username: Gary_mc Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 81.96.240.106 |
There is a weird sub genre of vomit-horror films, you know. The clips I've seen are vile. (Why do I know these things?) | ||
| Mick Curtis (Mick) Username: Mick Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 86.180.45.136 |
Ah, a fan of Slaughtered Vomit Dolls, eh?  | ||
| Kate (Kathleen) Username: Kathleen Registered: 09-2009 Posted From: 93.96.181.75 |
**waits patiently to hear why Zed knows these things and hopes Mick just made that title up** | ||
| Tony (Tony) Username: Tony Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 213.122.108.128 |
I liked the original. | ||
| John Llewellyn Probert (John_l_probert) Username: John_l_probert Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 213.253.174.81 |
I didn't think the original was that great (except for the music, especially that music box / waltz theme). Thanks to Lady P for nobly sacrificing herself at the altar of bad film so we don't have to waste time with that one together | ||
| Mick Curtis (Mick) Username: Mick Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 86.180.45.136 |
**waits patiently to hear why Zed knows these things and hopes Mick just made that title up* 'fraid not, Kate! http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0811073/ | ||
| Kate (Kathleen) Username: Kathleen Registered: 09-2009 Posted From: 93.96.181.75 |
Oh. My. God. The cast list says it all, really. Pig Lizzy, Princess Pam, Miss Pussy Pants and Allen Nasty...  | ||
| Tony (Tony) Username: Tony Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 217.23.233.247 |
The original was in no way great but the cheap dvd I watched recently had that hazy look to it and that sense of times gone that adds to these things in a way the makers could never have forseen, or current makers emulate. | ||
| Zed (Gary_mc) Username: Gary_mc Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 213.219.8.243 |
I don't think I ever saw the original - one of the few slashers I missed out on. I know what you mean about that hazy look, Tony... | ||
| Tony (Tony) Username: Tony Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 217.23.233.247 |
I actually look for that in films. If it has it, it's a plus. Oh, to capture it in writing... | ||
| Tony (Tony) Username: Tony Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 81.157.22.201 |
Hmm. Just watched The Boys All Love Mandy Lane. For some reason the beauty of the photography really distracted AND added, in that it took from what was happening (which wasn't much) and added, in that it was better than what was happening. What an odd thing. The twist felt very unnatural too, to the point it felt unlikely, and the interest and believability dropped (even futher) as soon as you saw it. | ||
| John Llewellyn Probert (John_l_probert) Username: John_l_probert Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 213.253.174.81 |
I thought All the Boys Love Mandy Lane was bloody awful - really really dull. But I agree the photography was beautiful |