| Author | Message | ||
     John Llewellyn Probert (John_l_probert) Username: John_l_probert Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 88.202.207.22 |
Yes friends, it's time for another JLP review. I manfully resisted the urge to post a review of this one, but in the end I couldn’t help myself. I have been wanting to see The Frozen Dead ever since the ten year old JLP bought Alan Frank’s horror film book ‘Monsters and Vampires’ back in the 1970s and thrilled to the pictures of Nazis in the freezer and that weird wired-up head on a table. I finally got to see it last night and my God to think I considered It! – The Frozen Dead’s original co-feature back in 1966 - to be a barking mad load of old tosh. Cobbled together incredibly cheaply, featuring some of the worst acting to grace a 1960s British horror picture, and set in a country house that must have been going spare for a weekend, The Frozen Dead starts off with the worst day-for-night photography I have ever seen (which must have been filmed on the sunniest day of the year). Dana Andrews stars as mad scientist Dr Norberg, who is trying to thaw out Nazi soldiers frozen at the end of the second world war, all while still wearing their uniforms, presumably because the only thing worse than a Nazi is a nude Nazi. Unfortunately so far his attempts have been unsuccessful and have resulted in little more than vegetables. One Nazi soldier does nothing but repetitively bounce an imaginary ball, one does nothing but comb his hair all day, and one is Edward Fox. Herbert J Leder’s directorial technique tends towards covering everything in master shots and he was obviously a graduate of the ‘one take’ school of film-making. The sound isn’t very good either, which is surprising considering the boom mike has been brought so close to the actors in some scenes that you can actually see it. In amongst all this there’s some really weird imagery that for fans of this kind of thing (and we all know who we are) that more than makes up for any incompetence. There’s a wall of severed arms that can still move, a mysterious old lady in the village who wears a rubber mask, and best of all that severed head of a green-faced girl kept in a box with her brain exposed and pulsating. Then of course there’s the kind of dialogue that would have brought a tear to the eye of Ed Wood. “That head will destroy us all!” “It can’t do that – it’s only a head.” Or “He calls himself Mr Smith but with that strong German accent of his you’d think he should really call himself Mr Schmidt”. But best of all are the terrible German accents: “Zey vill zink it voz an accident! Zey do not know he pushed ze flower pot!” Actors stumble over their lines, Dana goes to put his glass down before the butler gets there with the tray for him to put it on, and the ending is so barking mad, with the severed head taking control of the wall of arms, that it has to be seen to be believed. Top it all off with a final shot that’s genuinely unnerving and a very very strange way to end a mid-60s horror film and The Frozen Dead, when paired with It! wins hands down as the most barkingly insane double bill I’ve ever had the pleasure of spending close to thirty years of my life tracking down. | ||
| Steve Jensen (Stevej) Username: Stevej Registered: 07-2009 Posted From: 82.0.77.233 |
One Nazi soldier does nothing but repetitively bounce an imaginary ball, one does nothing but comb his hair all day, and one is Edward Fox.  Sterling work, Lord P.  | ||
| Kate (Kathleen) Username: Kathleen Registered: 09-2009 Posted From: 93.96.181.75 |
While it sounds like a laugh, I'm actually not all that gutted to have missed this one. Doing all the dialogue along to Halloween on its namesake night was more my idea of film fun. We probably deserved the anti-Irish rant from the Glaswegian yobs next door for being such complete and utter geeks.  | ||
| John Llewellyn Probert (John_l_probert) Username: John_l_probert Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 213.253.174.81 |
Well I sat through another 'curiosity' you will never have to worry about last night Despite my review of The Frozen Dead above, The Vulture actually has to be the worst British 60s horror movie I have ever seen. I love that it's described in Phil Hardy's encyclopaedia as 'the last in director Laurence Huntingdon's long and entirely undistinguished career'. The plot makes absolutely no sense, but seems to be something to do with Akim Tamiroff matter transporting himself into a coffin where some bloke was buried with his pet vulture in 1700 and getting gene spliced with the bird. They couldn't actually afford a great big vulture so all we get to see is a huge pair of comedy chicken legs drag Broderick Crawford off a balcony and threaten pretty but vapid Diane Clare in its mountain cave hideaway. Lines include 'I bet the rest of the sheep is hidden behind the ledge' and the music is the very worst of British 60s muzak. There was a skeleton sitting at the keyboard of a computer close to the end but I have no idea why. Most of the cast can't act at all, but the creepy sexton who slithers around the local hospital in his black mackintosh and floppy hat is good for a laugh, as is the shocked lady teacher whose hair turns white which seems to be the only reason for her enforced hospital stay, apart from the fact that she keeps saying 'a big black bird...with a HUMAN HEAD!!!!' over and over and over again. Before he gets dragged off Broderick Crawford can't seem to keep still when he's not uttering dialogue, and why his brother insists on coming in through the window is never explained either. Despite this being 1966 star Robert Hutton & his wife Diane Clare sleep in separate beds, but then we are in Cornwall - perhaps Hutton was worried the zombies might come and get her in the night. Far more boring than it sounds, no-one here will get much of a kick out of it. Perhaps a Michael Bay re-imagining might iron out its faults? | ||
| Ramsey Campbell (Ramsey) Username: Ramsey Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 195.93.21.74 |
By gum, John, where did you find The Vulture? I've never seen it. | ||
| Steve Jensen (Stevej) Username: Stevej Registered: 07-2009 Posted From: 82.0.77.233 |
The beginning of The Vulture is here...can't find any more clips from it though, sadly. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ryG2pRD-jHM | ||
| Frank (Frank) Username: Frank Registered: 09-2008 Posted From: 213.158.199.68 |
John - By God, indeed. Your reviews always make me laugh. Your review of the Vulture is hilarious stuff. Steve - talking of birds, have you ever seen Night of the Eagle? It's Sidney Hayter's adaptation of Fritz Leiber's 'Conjure Wife'...I think. I haven't read it, but I adored the movie. 1962/63/64 or sometime about then. Oh, and mate, tried getting you back online because I read your story. Will speak about it tomorrow...BUT...  | ||
| Craig (Craig) Username: Craig Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 75.4.229.4 |
Why was the other "The Vulture" never a villain in any of these recent comic book movies?... Seriously, though highly tangentially. Wasn't The Vulture like one of Spiderman's top five ever villains? He's quite iconic - I've not seen a picture of that villain in years, and yet I see him as clear as day right now in my mind! | ||
| Huw (Huw) Username: Huw Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 218.168.184.10 |
Night of the Eagle was pretty good, I thought (Peter Wyngarde's tight trousers notwithstanding). There's an earlier adaptation of Conjure Wife titled Weird Woman. | ||
| Stephen Walsh (Stephenw) Username: Stephenw Registered: 03-2009 Posted From: 194.32.31.1 |
I saw 'Night Of The Eagle' late one night years ago and found it quite striking. I had no idea it was based on such a famous horror novel. I really must read some Fritz Leiber. | ||
| Huw (Huw) Username: Huw Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 218.168.192.152 |
Stephen, I don't know how much Leiber you've read, but I'd recommend his first collection Night's Black Agents and his novel Our Lady of Darkness as some of the best fiction he wrote. I think you can still get our Lady of Darkness and Conjure Wife as a 'two-in-one' paperback called Dark Ladies. It really is about time someone brought out a comprehensive paperback edition of his supernatural/weird stories. Midnight House brought out a great series of hardbacks a few years ago that collected most of his short horror fiction, but these are now very hard to find (although the final volume may still be available). | ||
| Tony (Tony) Username: Tony Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 81.131.109.69 |
That opening was hilarious. Some lovely shots of the bus at night, and a sort of sense of strangeness about the whole idea. But yes, daft. I really like Night of the Eagle. I really want to read more Leiber but for some reason find the covers of his books so cheap and poorly designed I don't get excited about lookng for them...  | ||
| Stephen Walsh (Stephenw) Username: Stephenw Registered: 03-2009 Posted From: 194.32.31.1 |
I've reading absolutely nothing!! I've checked all my anthologies and not a single story by Fritz Leiber! The only books I've ever seen of his available in the shops have been swords & sorcery type novels and had no idea until quite recently he was such a highly thought of horror author. | ||
| Huw (Huw) Username: Huw Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 218.168.192.152 |
Stephen, you can find cheap copies of Night's Black Agents, Shadows with Eyes and Heroes and Horrors on ABE - all are well worth getting and together they comprise a nice little collection of some of his best horror stories. The paperback edition of Midnight House's collection The Black Gondolier may still be available (I'm pretty sure I noticed it at amazon recently). You owe it to yourself to hunt down some of his work - he is one of the absolute masters of weird fiction, in my opinion! |