| Author | Message | ||
     Gary Fry (Gary_fry) Username: Gary_fry Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 82.3.226.105 |
So I call round to speak to the family who own the B&B next door. Thing is, my partner Michelle's daughter is coming over for Xmas and staying at the B&B, having booked a few weeks ago. But . . . the B&B owner called her the other day to say she's going on holiday and if she's back in time on the day M's daughter is due to arrive, she can stay there; if not, she can't. Well, this certainly seemed a tad off, so ever the diplomat I agree to go round and have a word, like. So I did. And after a few gentle comments such as, "Well, she needs to know whether she can stay - you can't just change your mind and leave it like this," the B&B owner - a particularly vicious old lady with more than a few toys in the attic (and I ain't talking about her pad, you know) - punches me on the elbow and replies, "I think she'll be best staying elsewhere." Much discussion ensues, me making the point that this isn't what she agreed, she invariably thrusting her wrinkle-ridden face against mine and looking fit to burst with lunatic aggression. And then her son arrived. 30s. Living with mummy. Bespectacled and be-baseball-capped. He says, "Don't speak to her, she's mad." He sends his mum inside and then proceeds to sort this out in a - just as I've hitherto upheld - sensible manner. A few minutes later (diplomatic talks having floundered somewhat), he's shouting at me as I retreat down his path while furiously thinking about films I've seen involving odd familes, like Hills Have Eyes and Texas Chainsaw. Last thing I hear as I go into my house is this chap shouting, "Well, just fuck off then!" Somewhere in the middle of all this I distinctly recall reminding them that through us they're getting custom. | ||
| Steve Bacon (Stevebacon) Username: Stevebacon Registered: 09-2008 Posted From: 90.210.209.138 |
Gary, I think the behaviour of your neighbours is acceptable. It's obvious that you're putting them to massive inconvenience; it's Christmas, don't ya know? By the way, are you sure the mother and son weren't the same person? He hadn't just donned an old lady costume at first, had he? | ||
| Zed (Gary_mc) Username: Gary_mc Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 81.96.240.106 |
Did you punch him? When all else fails, massive and unexpected violence can be rather cathartic. | ||
| Ian Alexander Martin (Iam) Username: Iam Registered: 10-2009 Posted From: 64.180.64.74 |
I second both gentlemen's suggestions. The clear answer to the problem is to punch the boy in the eye. The other problem is solved by then dragging his mother into the street where you give her one, then leave her there for the next car to run over. Both are quite obvious devotées of S&M and hope that by getting themselves over-night visitors they can find sufficient satisfaction in addition to custom, you see. It's simple, when you think about it. She punched you in the elbow (not sure how to accomplish that, actually, but never mind) and you didn't go for it. Then the son tries, and again you fail to rise to the occasion. You being a complete waste of time, you're told to be off. Oh, and the son's a cross-dresser, which explains the mad outfit. |