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Weber_gregston (Weber_gregston)
Username: Weber_gregston

Registered: 03-2008
Posted From: 194.176.105.56
Posted on Thursday, March 11, 2010 - 06:23 pm:   

I love the type of joke that you can drop into a conversation and people don't realise you're telling a joke until you give the punchline. The Prince Charles joke above is a classic example.

Other favourites are -

when people are talking about the road network - Have you heard about that new road they're building using nothing but recycled paper products? they're calling it the A4"

or

They found an ice cream man dead in his van on the next street to me last week. He was lying on the floor of the van covered in strawberry sauce, hundreds and thousands and crushed nuts.

The police reckon he topped himself.

or (when people are talking about horoscopes)

I don't believe in all that stuff. But that's typical Libran isn't it?

Can anyone else supply some jokes of this type.
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Colin Leslie (Blackabyss)
Username: Blackabyss

Registered: 02-2010
Posted From: 86.132.5.239
Posted on Thursday, March 11, 2010 - 08:54 pm:   

I used to go out with Fatima Whitbread but she chucked me.

I used to own a paper shop but it folded.
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Jonathan (Jonathan)
Username: Jonathan

Registered: 03-2008
Posted From: 91.109.181.152
Posted on Friday, March 12, 2010 - 12:09 am:   

My favourite is one my friend pulled on me.

Me: "Sam you alright you look down?"

Sam: "Yeah, my grandad died."

Me: "I'm sorry, what happened?"

Sam: "Well my grandma greased his back and after that he went down hill fast."

Classic

The other one that's not a joke but was harsh but funny was when I was in a pub with a group of friends and one of them told a joke about cancer. A girl at the table went puce and growled, "that's not funny, my grandad died of cancer."

Without missing a beat my friend said, "shame, he'd have loved that joke."

What a bastard.
J
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Ian Alexander Martin (Iam)
Username: Iam

Registered: 10-2009
Posted From: 64.180.64.74
Posted on Friday, March 12, 2010 - 12:38 am:   

One day at work (in the government office where I was a File Clerk) we were standing around discussing things and I used the term "hoi-polloi". Someone clearly hadn't heard it before and asked what it meant. "No idea," I replied, "it's all Greek to me."

No one laughed.

It was at this point that I realized I was not in my element and needed to seek a better position.

…why I decided to become an actor at this point is beyond me.
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Carolinec (Carolinec)
Username: Carolinec

Registered: 06-2009
Posted From: 82.38.75.85
Posted on Friday, March 12, 2010 - 01:33 am:   

Could somebody please rename this thread "Bad Jokes"?
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Craig (Craig)
Username: Craig

Registered: 03-2008
Posted From: 75.4.254.28
Posted on Friday, March 12, 2010 - 04:09 pm:   

"A Prairie Home Companion" does an entire episode at least once a year, totally devoted to bad jokes - you get a blistering amount of them in the space of two hours. Coincidentally, that was the show last week!

Here's one I remember, kinda funny (paraphrased):

A guy raises his hands to heaven and says, "Oh great and powerful God, to whom an eternity is but a second, to whom a million dollars is as nothing, I ask of you an immense gift - I am in dire straits, and I need a million dollars." God answers him, "I have decided to grant your request and give you the million dollars." The man responds, "Great! When can I get it?" God replies, "Just give me a second."

(btw: A PRAIRIE HOME COMPANION, though lots of people didn't like it, wasn't a darling of critics, I think is classic Robert Altman, and a beautiful final film)
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Weber_gregston (Weber_gregston)
Username: Weber_gregston

Registered: 03-2008
Posted From: 194.176.105.56
Posted on Friday, March 12, 2010 - 04:49 pm:   

You couldn't drop that one naturally into a conversation though could you? It would be obvious from the start that you're telling a joke.

that's forgetting completely about any quality considerations there might be about it...
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Craig (Craig)
Username: Craig

Registered: 03-2008
Posted From: 75.4.254.28
Posted on Friday, March 12, 2010 - 05:01 pm:   

Is that what a joke is? Something you just drop in casually?

Gee, Weber, I didn't know you were Captain Jokemada of the Humor Gestapo.
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Weber_gregston (Weber_gregston)
Username: Weber_gregston

Registered: 03-2008
Posted From: 194.176.105.56
Posted on Friday, March 12, 2010 - 05:07 pm:   

That's the type of joke I was asking for... read the first part of this thread.
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Craig (Craig)
Username: Craig

Registered: 03-2008
Posted From: 75.4.254.24
Posted on Friday, March 12, 2010 - 05:33 pm:   

ooops....

Take me to the concentration camp then. And put me in Mein Kampfy chair.
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Steve Bacon (Stevebacon)
Username: Stevebacon

Registered: 09-2008
Posted From: 90.210.209.136
Posted on Friday, March 12, 2010 - 07:19 pm:   

My mate once said to me, "aah, Goldfinger. That film always reminds me of school."

To which I replied, "why? Did you watch it in class one time?"

His reply - "No, but they had very thin toilet paper at school..."

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