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Carolinec (Carolinec)
Username: Carolinec

Registered: 06-2009
Posted From: 82.38.75.85
Posted on Tuesday, May 04, 2010 - 09:25 pm:   

Now, I bet you lot here are much better social networkers than I am and you'll be able to advise me on this.

I'm getting to the stage where I'm thinking I might have to finally give in and start using Facebook, MySpace or something similar. I'm going to need to network more - especially if this book thing I mentioned elsewhere is going to happen.

But so far, I've avoided them like the plague. I looked at a couple of people's MySpace pages, thought they looked difficult to use and seemed a bit pointless really, and then didn't go any further. I did start a blog a while ago, but then realised I didn't have anything to blog about and probably nobody would want to read it anyway.

However, I now think the time has come for me to try to be more sociable online, but the question is: which one should I go for, Facebook or MySpace? (or something completely different?)

So any advice, please? Which social networking site is (a) most user-friendly for a technophope like me, and (b) more likely to enable me to find someone, anyone, who'd be willing to "befriend" me?

Also - and don't laugh at my ignorance please - what do you actually *do* on these sites? I mean, do you have to just go searching for people and ask them if they'll be your "friends"? It all seems a little silly to me I must admit. But everyone seems to be doing it and I'm feeling left out - without a friend in the world ...
(well, the cyberworld, anyway)
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Carolinec (Carolinec)
Username: Carolinec

Registered: 06-2009
Posted From: 82.38.75.85
Posted on Tuesday, May 04, 2010 - 09:27 pm:   

"technophope"

Argh! That should be "technophobe" - though "technophope" is quite a nice word really. Hey, I've just invented a new word!
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Des (Des)
Username: Des

Registered: 06-2008
Posted From: 86.171.167.123
Posted on Tuesday, May 04, 2010 - 09:41 pm:   

Without question, imo, Facebook is the one to use. It is brilliant.
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Chris_morris (Chris_morris)
Username: Chris_morris

Registered: 04-2008
Posted From: 12.165.240.116
Posted on Tuesday, May 04, 2010 - 10:01 pm:   

Facebook is the one to use, I think. MySpace is sort of old news, really.

For advice on how to use, I suppose I can recommend this:

http://tinyurl.com/256zev4

I've never read that book, but I'm an editor for that company, and I've edited many books like it.
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Simon Bestwick (Simon_b)
Username: Simon_b

Registered: 10-2008
Posted From: 86.24.209.217
Posted on Tuesday, May 04, 2010 - 11:24 pm:   

Caroline- if you are going to use social networking sites, Facebook is definitely preferable. Just beware of the 'black hole of time' effect that always comes up when you're online... social networking sites just make it worse!
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Mark West (Mark_west)
Username: Mark_west

Registered: 03-2008
Posted From: 86.151.35.154
Posted on Tuesday, May 04, 2010 - 11:48 pm:   

I'll go for Facebook too - MySpace always seemed too spammy and cluttered for my liking. Facebook is also good for getting in touch with old friends.
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Mick Curtis (Mick)
Username: Mick

Registered: 03-2008
Posted From: 86.179.199.185
Posted on Tuesday, May 04, 2010 - 11:55 pm:   

Facebook. MySpace is (or was) more for bands and musicians, although loads of other folk use it. Facebook's a good laugh...

I read that as "Technopope"! Is it a bird, is it a plane...
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Gcw (Gcw)
Username: Gcw

Registered: 03-2008
Posted From: 86.153.237.52
Posted on Wednesday, May 05, 2010 - 12:32 am:   

Facebook without a doubt, Myspace is dead in the water...:-)

gcw
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Mark_samuels (Mark_samuels)
Username: Mark_samuels

Registered: 04-2010
Posted From: 86.149.65.236
Posted on Wednesday, May 05, 2010 - 01:01 am:   

Caroline

On the other hand, like me, you could just ignore Facebook and make friends and contacts in the old fashioned way.

I've found they last longer.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZRRCoCNtCkc

Mark S.
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Joel (Joel)
Username: Joel

Registered: 03-2008
Posted From: 91.110.189.181
Posted on Wednesday, May 05, 2010 - 01:21 am:   

Mark, a few weeks ago I saw two people walking down the street together, talking to each other. Obviously they were members of some historical reconstruction society.
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Stevie Walsh (Stephenw)
Username: Stephenw

Registered: 03-2009
Posted From: 82.17.252.126
Posted on Wednesday, May 05, 2010 - 02:44 am:   

Facebook all the way, Caroline!
It's actually great fun...
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Mark_samuels (Mark_samuels)
Username: Mark_samuels

Registered: 04-2010
Posted From: 86.149.65.236
Posted on Wednesday, May 05, 2010 - 03:44 am:   

Joel, mate, that'll be you and me at the end of the world...

Still in love with one another, despite disagreeing furiously.

Mark S.
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Simon Bestwick (Simon_b)
Username: Simon_b

Registered: 10-2008
Posted From: 86.24.209.217
Posted on Wednesday, May 05, 2010 - 08:20 am:   

Did anyone else just go to a scary visual place?
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Des (Des)
Username: Des

Registered: 06-2008
Posted From: 86.171.167.123
Posted on Wednesday, May 05, 2010 - 09:19 am:   

On the other hand, like me, you could just ignore Facebook and make friends and contacts in the old fashioned way.
===================

The optimum is becoming a careful combination of both methods, old-fashioned and new, imo. One should not exclude either.
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Mick Curtis (Mick)
Username: Mick

Registered: 03-2008
Posted From: 86.182.155.197
Posted on Wednesday, May 05, 2010 - 10:01 am:   

Indeed - Facebook is a good way to keep in touch with friends we only see occasionally, due to distance.
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Des (Des)
Username: Des

Registered: 06-2008
Posted From: 86.171.167.123
Posted on Wednesday, May 05, 2010 - 10:06 am:   

I think with facebook etc, many seem to be 'kicking against the pricks'.
And that's also a very good point, Mick, you make.
des
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Tony (Tony)
Username: Tony

Registered: 03-2008
Posted From: 81.132.173.248
Posted on Wednesday, May 05, 2010 - 10:11 am:   

I came off FB...now my email box is a whispering windy hole of emptiness. :-(
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Kate (Kathleen)
Username: Kathleen

Registered: 09-2009
Posted From: 86.142.146.96
Posted on Wednesday, May 05, 2010 - 10:14 am:   

I have a MySpace page under my nom de plume but got really sick of so-called "friend requests" from bands who simply want to be in as many friends lists as possible - presumably an advertising ploy.

Facebook is less customisable but also less spammy.
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Stevie Walsh (Stephenw)
Username: Stephenw

Registered: 03-2009
Posted From: 194.32.31.1
Posted on Wednesday, May 05, 2010 - 10:21 am:   

The optimum is becoming a careful combination of both methods, old-fashioned and new, imo. One should not exclude either.

Very true, Des... and don't forget there are games and fan clubs and the ability to share photos and keep in touch with distant friends or family and waffle endlessly about the stuff you love with like minded individuals on Facebook. As long as one doesn't take it too seriously (as with here) I find it an invaluable social tool and a right blast as well.
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Allybird (Allybird)
Username: Allybird

Registered: 03-2008
Posted From: 79.64.121.35
Posted on Wednesday, May 05, 2010 - 10:25 am:   

Very true, Mick. 'Indeed - Facebook is a good way to keep in touch with friends we only see occasionally, due to distance.'
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Des (Des)
Username: Des

Registered: 06-2008
Posted From: 86.171.167.123
Posted on Wednesday, May 05, 2010 - 10:36 am:   

Also, another 'old-fashioned' method is being on a forum like this one which is another optimal corollary to the use of facebook and meetings face to face in real-time. Where do those who decry facebook draw the line?
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Tony (Tony)
Username: Tony

Registered: 03-2008
Posted From: 81.132.173.248
Posted on Wednesday, May 05, 2010 - 10:42 am:   

I like this board very much. I prefer it to FB, which has too many whistles and bells for me.
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Tony (Tony)
Username: Tony

Registered: 03-2008
Posted From: 81.132.173.248
Posted on Wednesday, May 05, 2010 - 10:43 am:   

It also became a 'friend' place long ago, and is no longer a 'horror' forum to me at all (sorry Ramsey).
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Des (Des)
Username: Des

Registered: 06-2008
Posted From: 86.171.167.123
Posted on Wednesday, May 05, 2010 - 10:46 am:   

I agree, Tony. But various methods don't exclude others, necessarily, but tend to complement each other - as long one can ration one's own time doing it overall.
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Tony (Tony)
Username: Tony

Registered: 03-2008
Posted From: 81.132.173.248
Posted on Wednesday, May 05, 2010 - 10:50 am:   

That was my problem, I think. I just felt hectored on FB, like being in a crowded room. This is like the kitchen at the party - the place I always hide!
I've been itching to write letter to folk recently, but that method now seems so intimate it's scary for some people. Maybe even me!
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Stevie Walsh (Stephenw)
Username: Stephenw

Registered: 03-2009
Posted From: 194.32.31.1
Posted on Wednesday, May 05, 2010 - 11:09 am:   

That's a scary thought, Tony, as the intimacy of one-to-one communication is what friendship is really all about!
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Zed (Gary_mc)
Username: Gary_mc

Registered: 03-2008
Posted From: 195.166.117.210
Posted on Wednesday, May 05, 2010 - 11:13 am:   

I find FB a great way of organising face-to-face meet-ups with like-minded people (at conventions, etc).
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Tom_alaerts (Tom_alaerts)
Username: Tom_alaerts

Registered: 03-2008
Posted From: 194.78.35.185
Posted on Wednesday, May 05, 2010 - 02:08 pm:   

FB is rather ok, if you set all your privacy setting to absolute maximum.
Myspace on the other hand, except for rock bands on it, is oldfashioned

FB is good to keep in touch with faraway people. Good to share pictures as well. I suggest to keep your number of "friends" in check.
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Carolinec (Carolinec)
Username: Carolinec

Registered: 06-2009
Posted From: 82.38.75.85
Posted on Wednesday, May 05, 2010 - 02:56 pm:   

Ha! I think it's this proloferation of "friends" which scares me most! So now I know that keeping my privacy settings to a maximum is important.

Thanks, friends (and I use that term most sincerely) - it looks like Facebook has won hands down then. I'll take a look into it and see if I can manage to set myself up with it some time.

But I agree about the more "real" methods of communication - in person and even by letter. I must admit, my letter-writing has taken a back seat to email lately. For example, I have a friend who's been offline for some time and I keep kicking myself that I just haven't been in touch with him, whereas we were constantly exchanging emails before he went offline. I really must write him a letter this weekend.

Agreed, also, about these kinds of discussion boards (and this board in particular, which really feels like "family"). I don't use many of them, but I do enjoy using them. In a way, it feels like there's a group of like-minded people together in a room chatting (although we're not constrained by real time, of course).

But I have certainly found that there's a danger of spending too much time in online chat. I guess that's another reason why I've tried to avoid Facebook, etc, up till now.

I'm in a position, too, where more and more of my work involves online communucation - emails to students with feedback on their work, virtual learning environments, online tutorials, etc. I do fear I spend far too much time at my keyboard one way or another ..
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Hubert (Hubert)
Username: Hubert

Registered: 03-2008
Posted From: 78.22.232.127
Posted on Wednesday, May 05, 2010 - 03:28 pm:   

Not that I have anything to hide, but, to paraphrase Ray Bradbury when he was asked about the joys of internet: who wants to meet all these people? Or, conversely, who wants to let all these people know about oneself? I've been on the www for twelve years now and have grown a little more cautious about all these 'friends'.
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Tom_alaerts (Tom_alaerts)
Username: Tom_alaerts

Registered: 03-2008
Posted From: 194.78.35.185
Posted on Wednesday, May 05, 2010 - 05:32 pm:   

Indeed I am rather cautious about what I post.

For example, it has happened that people's houses were broken into, triggered by the FB mention that they were on holiday!

In general it's also important to keep in mind that the internet never forgets. Think twice about what you post anywhere.
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Weber (Weber_gregston)
Username: Weber_gregston

Registered: 03-2008
Posted From: 194.176.105.56
Posted on Wednesday, May 05, 2010 - 05:41 pm:   

Houses have also been trashed because people are stupid enough to post open invites on FB to parties.
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Joel (Joel)
Username: Joel

Registered: 03-2008
Posted From: 217.37.199.45
Posted on Wednesday, May 05, 2010 - 05:52 pm:   

"In general it's also important to keep in mind that the internet never forgets. Think twice about what you post anywhere."

Wise words, Tom.
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Nathaniel Tapley (Natt)
Username: Natt

Registered: 11-2009
Posted From: 78.146.249.100
Posted on Wednesday, May 05, 2010 - 06:10 pm:   

Facebook is a truly excellent way of keeping in touch with people, and has very good ways of doing lots of things: organising events, contacting a lot of people at one time, finding out about long-lost friends.

However, the most recent changes to their privacy policy mean that I'm probably going to have to give it up in the very near future. Tom, as FB have now redefined a lot of your personal information as 'Connections' rather than personal information, it doesn't matter how high you set your privacy settings. FB now have the right to republish to everyone your hometown, interests, educational history and work, no matter what your privacy settings.

There's more information here: http://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2010/05/things-you-need-know-about-facebook

Unfortunately, Facebook is very helpful to me in letting people know about gigs, distributing videos, all sorts of things. I now have to decide whether all that outweighs my desire for (some) privacy...

As yet, I'm undecided.
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Des (Des)
Username: Des

Registered: 06-2008
Posted From: 86.171.167.123
Posted on Wednesday, May 05, 2010 - 06:18 pm:   

They can only divulge what you divulge in the first place.
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Nathaniel Tapley (Natt)
Username: Natt

Registered: 11-2009
Posted From: 78.146.249.100
Posted on Wednesday, May 05, 2010 - 06:25 pm:   

Absolutely. But they can also divulge what you divulged under a previous, different privacy policy. Those of us who filled in out profile in 2006 cannot remove the archived information from FB's search.

To see the way in which their privacy policy has changed, see here: http://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2010/04/facebook-timeline/
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Gcw (Gcw)
Username: Gcw

Registered: 03-2008
Posted From: 86.153.237.52
Posted on Wednesday, May 05, 2010 - 07:36 pm:   

The amount of 'wise' people at work who tell me I am STUPID to have friends on this site & on Facebook, and I should RING people & TALK to them .

(Can I have all your NUMBERS PLEASE so I can stop being STUPID!!)

gcw...:-)
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Carolinec (Carolinec)
Username: Carolinec

Registered: 06-2009
Posted From: 82.38.75.85
Posted on Wednesday, May 05, 2010 - 07:43 pm:   

Hmmm ... all interesting food for thought there, guys.
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Hubert (Hubert)
Username: Hubert

Registered: 03-2008
Posted From: 78.22.232.127
Posted on Wednesday, May 05, 2010 - 09:45 pm:   

FB now have the right to republish to everyone your hometown, interests, educational history and work, no matter what your privacy settings.

Well, I wouldn't mind sharing that kind of information with anyone here. Privately, that is. I daresay the RCMB is different from FaceBook and what have you.
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Tom_alaerts (Tom_alaerts)
Username: Tom_alaerts

Registered: 03-2008
Posted From: 194.78.35.185
Posted on Thursday, May 06, 2010 - 09:17 am:   

Tom, as FB have now redefined a lot of your personal information as 'Connections' rather than personal information, it doesn't matter how high you set your privacy settings. FB now have the right to republish to everyone your hometown, interests, educational history and work, no matter what your privacy settings.

Interesting information... I may replace my data with fake data then (religion: jedi knight, etc). Just to screw up the system a little bit.
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Hubert (Hubert)
Username: Hubert

Registered: 03-2008
Posted From: 78.22.232.127
Posted on Thursday, May 06, 2010 - 09:45 am:   

Also: people are known to change from time to time. Young people especially may find themselves confronted by opinions and worldviews they held ten years ago but have since discarded.
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Carolinec (Carolinec)
Username: Carolinec

Registered: 06-2009
Posted From: 82.38.75.85
Posted on Thursday, May 06, 2010 - 11:32 am:   

>>Also: people are known to change from time to time. Young people especially may find themselves confronted by opinions and worldviews they held ten years ago but have since discarded.<<

There have, I believe, been cases where prospective employers have taken a look at someone's Facebook thingy and decided not to employ them on that basis.

It seems we all have to be very careful indeed about what we do/say on Facebook.
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Stevie Walsh (Stephenw)
Username: Stephenw

Registered: 03-2009
Posted From: 194.32.31.1
Posted on Thursday, May 06, 2010 - 11:51 am:   

That way lies paranoia, Caroline.

Such cases would be far from the norm imo and may even be new forms of urban myth. The many social benefits of Facebook far outweigh the public scaremongering that goes on.

I know some older people who look at you like you're some kind of child molester if you even mention being on Facebook. It's a tool for keeping in touch with people, like mobile phones, and as such is extremely useful - I love it!
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Mark_samuels (Mark_samuels)
Username: Mark_samuels

Registered: 04-2010
Posted From: 86.145.226.3
Posted on Thursday, May 06, 2010 - 02:10 pm:   

I'm a devotee of a revolutionary new technology.

It provides real-time, face-to-face interaction with your friends, gossip, laughs and can even lead to romance.

It's called the local pub.

Mark S.
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Zed (Gary_mc)
Username: Gary_mc

Registered: 03-2008
Posted From: 195.166.117.210
Posted on Thursday, May 06, 2010 - 02:13 pm:   

Unfortunately my local pub is full of the very people I use Fabebook to stay away from...
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Tom_alaerts (Tom_alaerts)
Username: Tom_alaerts

Registered: 03-2008
Posted From: 194.78.35.185
Posted on Thursday, May 06, 2010 - 04:17 pm:   

Pubs are cool. And they have better beer than FB. Yet when used in moderation it's a nice extra channel, not a replacement of course.
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Stevie Walsh (Stephenw)
Username: Stephenw

Registered: 03-2009
Posted From: 194.32.31.1
Posted on Thursday, May 06, 2010 - 04:21 pm:   

Pubs used to be cool when a person could afford to drink in them...
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Joel (Joel)
Username: Joel

Registered: 03-2008
Posted From: 217.37.199.45
Posted on Thursday, May 06, 2010 - 05:06 pm:   

My local pub is a short cut to the local A&E department. However, in principle I support the pub as a social networking forum. I just have to go four miles to find a decent one. Or rather one with people who aren't horrible.
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Stevie Walsh (Stephenw)
Username: Stephenw

Registered: 03-2009
Posted From: 194.32.31.1
Posted on Thursday, May 06, 2010 - 05:18 pm:   

Just out of curiosity, how much is a pint in your average English pub these days?
Over here in Belfast you're lucky to get anywhere charges less than 3.20 these days and many are asking anything up to 3.50!!!!

We have one Wetherspoon's that charges 2.45 and as a result attracts the ugliest elements imaginable so is not too alluring for a night out either. Down South the situation is even worse with punters being charged the equivalent of 5 for a Guinness!!

I foresee a return to the days of shebeens springing up in every neighbourhood if the Irish way of life is to continue as we know it... tis an awful shame!

Sorry but yis got me onto one of my favourite subjects.
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Mark_samuels (Mark_samuels)
Username: Mark_samuels

Registered: 04-2010
Posted From: 86.145.226.3
Posted on Thursday, May 06, 2010 - 07:23 pm:   

Depends: there's a Wetherspoons in Highgate (I took Zed there once, I think, and Tom and Lord P. on separate occasions) that's OK and around 2.30 a pint. It's pretty decent: good choice of ales.

Cheapest I know (and coincidentally, with the best ye-olde interior) is the Cittie of Yorke in Holborn (1.99 for pint of Old Brewery). Machen used to drink there; and it's not changed since his day. Had a drink with Anna Taborska there about a week ago and I've also been there with Tom A. and Lord P.

Nearby is the Penderels Arms, another Wetherspoons, and pretty good. That's where I regularly meet up once a month with Stu Young, Pam Creais, Gary Couzens, Dave Bezzina, Lilly Ibelo and other folk who might turn up.

The one I go to a couple of times a week is just around the corner from where I used to work in Warren Street: it's expensive, but I get a warm welcome from the young Antipodean barstaff, and know all the regulars. That one's the Grafton Arms (but it is pricey. Around 3 a pint.

There is pub about ten yards from where I live too: the Winchester, run by Pat and Val. It's great to hang out and do a spot of writing in a quiet corner. Or watch some footie.

Mark S.
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Richard_gavin (Richard_gavin)
Username: Richard_gavin

Registered: 03-2008
Posted From: 65.110.174.71
Posted on Friday, May 07, 2010 - 11:26 am:   

I don't really have anything to add to this discussion, since I'm on neither Facebook nor Myspace (There is a teeny Richard Gavin "fan" page on Facebook, I'm not involved with it). However, I wanted to chime in to say:

Mark Samuels! Good to have you back, man. (I realize you've been posting here again for a little while, but I'm just catching up on some of these threads and was glad to see your name.)

Richard
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Tom_alaerts (Tom_alaerts)
Username: Tom_alaerts

Registered: 03-2008
Posted From: 194.78.35.185
Posted on Friday, May 07, 2010 - 01:12 pm:   

Yes the Wetherspoons in Highgate is rather nice I thought. In my perception it was cheap and cheerful, not cheap and nasty.
And I definitely second Mark's recommendation of The Cittie of Yorke. Since he introduced me to that pub I've visited it a few times with colleagues, in the evenings of business trips. A splendid pub, and they have those great Samuel Smith beers (I may be Belgian, but I like them british ales as well!).
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Mark West (Mark_west)
Username: Mark_west

Registered: 03-2008
Posted From: 217.39.177.173
Posted on Friday, May 07, 2010 - 01:37 pm:   

Mark, I remember the Cittie Of York from way back - when the Rainfall Books came out, we all met up in there one rainy Saturday afternoon and, if I remember rightly, Stu Young's reading got drowned out by salsa music. Must have been 2003 or so.
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Carolinec (Carolinec)
Username: Carolinec

Registered: 06-2009
Posted From: 82.38.75.85
Posted on Friday, May 07, 2010 - 01:40 pm:   

I just love the way this thread has gone from talking about electronic communication, to talking about the best pubs in town! You guys are fantastic - thanks for making me smile!
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Allybird (Allybird)
Username: Allybird

Registered: 03-2008
Posted From: 79.64.121.35
Posted on Friday, May 07, 2010 - 02:17 pm:   

I usually stay logged into facebook and pop in when I have a break from writing.

It is useful to post links to articles, music etc and read what others find of interest.
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Mark_samuels (Mark_samuels)
Username: Mark_samuels

Registered: 04-2010
Posted From: 86.145.226.3
Posted on Friday, May 07, 2010 - 11:43 pm:   

Mark W.

You're right, the Cittie of Yorke indeed! Wasn't that in the basement? It was a marvellous event: something of a spontaneous "happening" given that the staff weren't in on it

Thanks for bringing back fond memories, my friend!

Mark S.
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Mark_samuels (Mark_samuels)
Username: Mark_samuels

Registered: 04-2010
Posted From: 86.145.226.3
Posted on Friday, May 07, 2010 - 11:50 pm:   

Oh blimey: I've forgotten to thank Richard for his "shout out".

Thank you, genuinely and kindly, sir. You're an authenic, darkly, & very splendid gentleman.

Mark S.
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Richard_gavin (Richard_gavin)
Username: Richard_gavin

Registered: 03-2008
Posted From: 67.71.38.133
Posted on Sunday, May 09, 2010 - 09:31 pm:   

Well, I do try, Mark. I try.
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Des (Des)
Username: Des

Registered: 06-2008
Posted From: 86.172.184.103
Posted on Monday, May 17, 2010 - 11:12 am:   

Rather than start a new thread on TWITTER I thought I would say this here:


I hereby declare that 'Weirdtongue' on Twitter is honestly not me. However, equally, I do not frown upon anyone tweeting presumably choice quotes from my early stories, as he or she (as Weirdtongue) seems to be doing on Twitter since yesterday. I reserve judgement on this matter, while currently remaining pleased about it.

PS: My own long-term name on Twitter has always been 'Nemonymity' and continues to be so.

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