| Author | Message | ||
     Weber (Weber_gregston) Username: Weber_gregston Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 194.176.105.55 |
Have you seen this happening gazza? The news is reporting that there has been a rash of youngsters in Yorkshire using dental syringes to administer ecstasy directing into the mouth. This dangerous process is known as 'e by gum'. | ||
| Gary Fry (Gary_fry) Username: Gary_fry Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 129.11.76.229 |
Hahahaha. That's a good one, actually. | ||
| Weber (Weber_gregston) Username: Weber_gregston Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 194.176.105.55 |
Another danger comes from the new trend of young men packing their girlfriend's vagina with vodka jelly and sucking it out through a straw. Ministers say it's degrading and unhygenic and this minge drinking has got to stop. | ||
| Stevie Walsh (Stephenw) Username: Stephenw Registered: 03-2009 Posted From: 194.32.31.1 |
Should have stopped when you were ahead, man...  | ||
| Gary Fry (Gary_fry) Username: Gary_fry Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 129.11.77.197 |
Yeah, you just ruined the only good joke you've ever put up here.  | ||
| Ramsey Campbell (Ramsey) Username: Ramsey Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 195.93.21.74 |
Certainly the second one isn't appropriate here. | ||
| Weber (Weber_gregston) Username: Weber_gregston Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 194.176.105.55 |
The second one is incredibly funny after 5 pints of cider and a couple of shots of whisky, try it... With reference to the first, has anyone here noticed that Robert mugabe's name spelt backwards is E ba Gum (Trebor)? | ||
| Gary Fry (Gary_fry) Username: Gary_fry Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 129.11.76.230 |
No, but if I had, I'm pretty certain I wouldn't have felt the need to tell the world. I mean, what's to tell? | ||
| Gary Fry (Gary_fry) Username: Gary_fry Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 129.11.76.230 |
Weber, do you really think the vodka joke is funny? It's like the stuff you might snigger at when you're 12. | ||
| Weber (Weber_gregston) Username: Weber_gregston Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 194.176.105.55 |
Yes. I find bad puns funny. Always have done. Especially after a few drinks. | ||
| Weber (Weber_gregston) Username: Weber_gregston Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 194.176.105.55 |
"I mean, what's to tell?" I also think the fact that Mugabe's name backwards is Ee by Gum (in a yorkshire accent) is funny. Ah well. | ||
| Gary Fry (Gary_fry) Username: Gary_fry Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 129.11.76.230 |
Why? What's the connection? A good pun would have a clever link between Mugabe and, in this instance, a Yorkshire-ism. Like, maybe, THE HOUSES OF PARLIAMENT being an anagram of LOONIES FAR UP THE THAMES. A connection, see. | ||
| Weber (Weber_gregston) Username: Weber_gregston Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 194.176.105.55 |
The Mugabe one isn't a pun, just silly funny. | ||
| Gary Fry (Gary_fry) Username: Gary_fry Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 129.11.76.230 |
Oh well, then I suppose you think T S ELIOT spelt backwards nearly spells TOILETS is hilarious. | ||
| Weber (Weber_gregston) Username: Weber_gregston Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 194.176.105.55 |
It would be funnier if it actually spelt toilets. | ||
| Craig (Craig) Username: Craig Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 75.4.248.167 |
Oh waiter! This conversation isn't very good. | ||
| Weber (Weber_gregston) Username: Weber_gregston Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 194.176.105.55 |
I also find it childishly funny that Selina Scott is an anagram of Elastic Snot. A cheap laugh is still a laugh. I'd rather still find the silly things funny than snobbishly dismiss any joke that doesn't require more than 5 brain cells to understand. | ||
| Gary Fry (Gary_fry) Username: Gary_fry Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 86.23.27.152 |
What's snobbish about finding some humour (eg, your second joke above) puerile and embarrassing? | ||
| Protodroid (Protodroid) Username: Protodroid Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 109.79.12.4 |
"A cheap laugh is still a laugh." When you're the only one in the room laughing, you've got some self-examination to do. | ||
| Craig (Craig) Username: Craig Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 75.5.1.15 |
The first joke I ever remember hearing, was in kindergarten (I was about 5 years old). Another kid came up to me and said, "Say King." So, I said, "King." He pounded me on the head with his fist, and yelled, "Kong!" My first introduction to humor, ushered in pain, to boot.... | ||
| Hubert (Hubert) Username: Hubert Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 78.21.233.51 |
I once discovered that NOISOME SCRAWL, the title of my erstwhile Esoteric Order of Dagon contribution (the EOD being a Lovecraft-oriented amateur press association) can be morphed into SCORN MAIL WOES, WORSE MAIL CONS and SWOONCAR SMILE! How about that, friends and neighbours? You are permitted to smile. | ||
| Tom_alaerts (Tom_alaerts) Username: Tom_alaerts Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 194.78.35.185 |
> What's snobbish about finding some humour (eg, your second joke above) puerile and embarrassing? Well, you can make it fun by having Ricky Gervais' David Brent character telling the joke to his The Office people; and then they stand around him in awkward, embarrassed silence... | ||
| Weber (Weber_gregston) Username: Weber_gregston Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 194.176.105.55 |
Or you could hear it in the pub like I did and laugh you socks off at it with your mates. I don't need to apologise to my sense of humour. | ||
| Ramsey Campbell (Ramsey) Username: Ramsey Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 195.93.21.74 |
I think your sense of humour should apologise to you, Marc. | ||
| Gary Fry (Gary_fry) Username: Gary_fry Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 86.23.27.152 |
Weber, I think you're going to have to face up to the fact that such jokes - sniggery, vulgar and actually quite offensive stuff like the vodka one above - are not funny to most adults. It's nothing to do with snobbishness. But if you'd rather pretend it's my fault for being a snob, that's fine. But you'll just go on making the same gaffes. You heard it here first. | ||
| Weber (Weber_gregston) Username: Weber_gregston Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 194.176.105.55 |
"Weber, I think you're going to have to face up to the fact that such jokes - sniggery, vulgar and actually quite offensive stuff like the vodka one above - are not funny to most adults." If that was the case then comedians like Jimmy Carr and Frankie Boyle wouldn't be selling out 5 nights each at the manchester Apollo every year. Roy Chubby Brown wouldn't sell out either but he does - although that's where even I draw the line, I did go to see him one year and I think I smiled about 3 times in his entire set. That's still three times more than I've ever smiled listening to Peter Kay... Gone off point there a bit. Just because it's not your sense of humour doesn't mean you can claim to speak for MOST adults. The Vodka joke has what I consider to be a good pun as a punchline. I think it's funny. You don't. No reason to try to put me down about it. | ||
| Gary Fry (Gary_fry) Username: Gary_fry Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 86.23.27.152 |
I'm pretty sure most folk on this board would find the vodka joke embarrassing (even offensive in some cases). I'd be very surprised if I'm wrong. I'm the moderator, so I spoke up. If folk tell me I'm wrong, I'll be happy to shut up. | ||
| Craig (Craig) Username: Craig Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 75.4.254.28 |
We don't have that term here, so it wasn't offensive overall - though the set-up was rather offensive, one could say. I wonder... if one uses no bad words, puns included, not even any explicit sexual terms (like "vagina"), but tells a joke that totally, by its direction, leads the mind into an uncomfortable, maybe even revolting place.... | ||
| Ramsey Campbell (Ramsey) Username: Ramsey Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 195.93.21.74 |
Forgive me, but I'm losing patience. The second joke was not appropriate on my site, and I said so some time back. | ||
| Frank (Frank) Username: Frank Registered: 09-2008 Posted From: 212.49.212.18 |
I blame 'Ello 'Ello  | ||
| Hubert (Hubert) Username: Hubert Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 78.21.233.51 |
At the very least I've learned another English colloquialism  | ||
| Frank (Frank) Username: Frank Registered: 09-2008 Posted From: 212.49.212.18 |
Stay around, Hubert, you might learn a few more before the day draws to a close (; | ||
| Weber (Weber_gregston) Username: Weber_gregston Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 194.176.105.55 |
Well I'm off home now so it won't be from me. | ||
| Frank (Frank) Username: Frank Registered: 09-2008 Posted From: 212.49.212.18 |
Weber - come on, mate, don't be like that. | ||
| Allybird (Allybird) Username: Allybird Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 88.104.135.32 |
'I'm pretty sure most folk on this board would find the vodka joke embarrassing (even offensive in some cases). I'd be very surprised if I'm wrong. I'm the moderator, so I spoke up. If folk tell me I'm wrong, I'll be happy to shut up.' You aren't wrong. | ||
| Carolinec (Carolinec) Username: Carolinec Registered: 06-2009 Posted From: 82.38.75.85 |
Weber - it makes no difference whether the joke is "funny" or not (it isn't - but the first one is). The fact is, both Gary, as moderator of this board, and Ramsey, whose board it is, told you they felt it inappropriate here (as I'm sure most of the rest of us do too). At that point, all you had to do was say "Whoops, sorry, I obviously overstepped the mark with this one - no offence intended". It's just a matter of knowing where to draw the line - and you defintely overstepped it with that one. | ||
| Frank (Frank) Username: Frank Registered: 09-2008 Posted From: 212.49.212.18 |
Alright, give him a break. I'm sure he didn't mean to offend anyone, even though it did. Ramsey and Gary have said what they think (and I agree), but let's not all start having a pop at him. | ||
| Gary Fry (Gary_fry) Username: Gary_fry Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 86.23.27.152 |
These things happen occasionally. Weber's got a thick skin. I'm sure he's OK about it. But I agree, let's leave it here. | ||
| Weber (Weber_gregston) Username: Weber_gregston Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 194.176.105.55 |
"Weber - come on, mate, don't be like that." Check the time I posted that. It was the end of the working day, and I was off home for the night. I'm still not online at home. I'll probably be away for most of next week coz I've got most of it booked off. | ||
| Gary Fry (Gary_fry) Username: Gary_fry Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 86.23.27.152 |
How's the job going, Weber? You having to find something elsewhere? | ||
| Weber (Weber_gregston) Username: Weber_gregston Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 194.176.105.55 |
Uncertain is the best way to describe it. there were plans to merge the service I work for into the local hospital trust and if that happens before the PCT is disbanded then I could still be working for the NHS in a couple of years. however - when you merge two similar teams there's always the probability of job losses and it could be a Last in First out situation in which case I could be kicked out in any case. So the short answer is I don't know. | ||
| Gary Fry (Gary_fry) Username: Gary_fry Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 86.23.27.152 |
Ah well, good luck. | ||
| Carolinec (Carolinec) Username: Carolinec Registered: 06-2009 Posted From: 82.38.75.85 |
Just to make it clear, I definitely wasn't trying to "have a pop" at Weber. I was just trying to stop the "conversation" myself - probably unsuccessfully. Personally, I've never met Weber, but he seems like a cute and cuddly kinda guy to me.  And, Weber, here are my good luck wishes re the job too. It's a horrible situation to be in. | ||
| Craig (Craig) Username: Craig Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 75.4.253.10 |
You're going to be gone all next week?! Dammit! I'll just have to get into it with that Fry guy then, I suppose.... | ||
| Craig (Craig) Username: Craig Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 75.4.242.202 |
As you know, Weber's vacationing here in the States; and under continuing aliases, as he does here on the RCMB. So here's the latest report on what he's been up to over his summer vacation: http://www.wsaz.com/news/headlines/100232884.html (...I do wonder why the insistent "armless" description of the mannequin is so important....) | ||
| Joel (Joel) Username: Joel Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 91.110.162.33 |
To explain why it escaped prosecution, maybe. Actually I'm saddened that this is being treated as a criminal case. The old guy presumably has some kind of dementia, or at least a severe psychiatric disorder. He should not be in police custody at all. Maybe the Americans assume that if they don't make an example of him, everyone will be doing it. | ||
| Kate (Kathleen) Username: Kathleen Registered: 09-2009 Posted From: 213.122.209.76 |
All of this happened in a residential area and close to a church, according to Deputies. And there's the "prepare to be outraged, decent citizens!" voice of the Daily Mail creeping in. Poor bastard.  | ||
| Craig (Craig) Username: Craig Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 75.4.245.229 |
"Close to a church" indeed.... Mustn't have the church folk's pure clean minds sullied by the darker side of the world that actually exists outside it. Jesus surely wouldn't want that! That's why Jesus put his churches in safe "residential areas." | ||
| Weber (Weber_gregston) Username: Weber_gregston Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 212.121.214.11 |
Craig, you're a twunt. Just thought I'd point that out. | ||
| Carolinec (Carolinec) Username: Carolinec Registered: 06-2009 Posted From: 82.38.75.85 |
Weber, you're here! I was missing you! | ||
| Weber (Weber_gregston) Username: Weber_gregston Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 212.121.214.11 |
Only for a short while - library computers... crashed once already in the 30 minutes I've been here. | ||
| Tom_alaerts (Tom_alaerts) Username: Tom_alaerts Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 194.78.35.185 |
> That's why Jesus put his churches in safe "residential areas." Except the church in "Prince of Darkness", what with Alice Cooper creeping around there... | ||
| John Llewellyn Probert (John_l_probert) Username: John_l_probert Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 213.253.174.81 |
Except the church in "Prince of Darkness", what with Alice Cooper creeping around there... And all those beetles, and that green cylinder in the basement. Plus, you know you're in trouble if Donald Pleasance turns up with synthesiser music playing... | ||
| Ian Alexander Martin (Iam) Username: Iam Registered: 10-2009 Posted From: 64.180.64.74 |
Unless it's a full symphony orchestra, in which case he's carrying a small, white, fluffy cat. In which case you're still in trouble, but so's most of the world as well. I wonder, if the cat was leg-less and Mr. Pleasance claimed to be "just trying to have a little fun", would he be arrested? |