| Author | Message | ||
     Gary Fry (Gary_fry) Username: Gary_fry Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 86.23.61.249 |
Well, I have to be honest. Even though the book isn't released for another week, the first review of my novel The House of Canted Steps is in and I'm afraid it's a poor one: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l2DGqvXpFFs The reviewer - someone called Albatrash (as an aside, I do wish these people had the decency to use a real name and not hide behind their PCs) - makes some pretty devastating points about the Prologue, I'm sure you'll agree. I can only hang my head in shame. To think, I used the word "suddenly" once in four pages - pretty embarrassing. Mind you, I can at least comfort myself with the knowledge that in "modern horror" I'm surely not alone in feeling such shame: Thomas Ligotti, just one example among many, uses the word three times in this seven-page short story: http://www.scribd.com/doc/8565144/Mrs-Rinaldis-Angel-by-Thomas-Ligotti Shocking. I imagine Albatrash - whom I'm reliably informed is a Ligotti fan and forum member - will be pointing this out to his mentor very soon. And as for the issue of snakes in England - well, mea culpa. I guess I was foolishly thinking that my central character - a 6 year-old child - would truly wish to believe that her country had no snakes, and that her teachers at school wouldn't want to alarm her and her peers by telling her otherwise. I feel so embarrassed. I can only thank Albatrash for drawing these serious flaws to my attention. I am now dreading the novel's release. I mean, imagine the pasting I'm going to get when people have a chance to actually read it. | ||
| Frank (Frank) Username: Frank Registered: 09-2008 Posted From: 85.222.86.21 |
You should take yourself outside and do us all a favor and step in front of a bus you stupid fecking t**t. Yes, you, FRY, go on, get going before someone takes a real disliking to you... | ||
| Frank (Frank) Username: Frank Registered: 09-2008 Posted From: 85.222.86.21 |
 Don't worry, mate, which I' sure you're not doing. Whether it's intended (I mean personally), or whether it's a case of honest criticism, it's all part and parcel of the game. You'll be fine. | ||
| Jonathan (Jonathan) Username: Jonathan Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 91.143.178.131 |
What an absolute tool. Not you GF. The reviewer. Seriously, what is it about the small presses that elicits such bitchiness sometimes? Surely life is too short? Anyway mate, I shall get my hands on this at some point and give you a more informed opinion. | ||
| Jonathan (Jonathan) Username: Jonathan Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 91.143.178.131 |
And now I've just realised the reviewer is Albie and may just be trying to wind you up for fun. Ignore my early comments. Not enough coffee. Knee jerk reactions etc. Comes from expecting instant sniping once a new small title press is released. | ||
| Gary Fry (Gary_fry) Username: Gary_fry Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 86.23.61.249 |
That's OK, guys. I hope it's clear that I'm winding him for fun, too. I guess I just miss my old sparring partner.  My point was that his comments are pretty desperate. Indeed, I'm reassured that if this is all he can find to criticise, then the book's sound. Listen to your enemies; they tell you what you need to hear. I listened. Cheers, Albs. I feel less apprehensive about the book's release now.  | ||
| Simon Bestwick (Simon_b) Username: Simon_b Registered: 10-2008 Posted From: 86.24.209.217 |
What, Albie wind someone up for fun? Surely not. Prof, if it's any consolation, you should have seen the first review for Tide of Souls... | ||
| Zed (Gary_mc) Username: Gary_mc Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 195.166.117.210 |
Er, I don't think Gary's actually really bothered, y'know. Sarcasm? | ||
| Simon Bestwick (Simon_b) Username: Simon_b Registered: 10-2008 Posted From: 86.24.209.217 |
True... I need more coffee.  | ||
| Joel (Joel) Username: Joel Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 217.37.199.45 |
The first edition of Tennessee Williams' play Suddenly Last Summer was pulped at the author's insistence after it came out and he discovered the copy-editor had deleted the first word from the title. However, Jake Arnott's debut novel had the last word deleted from its title at the insistence of the distributor, and Arnott was unable to persuade them to restore it. So the book remained in print as The Long Firm. | ||
| Hubert (Hubert) Username: Hubert Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 78.22.237.21 |
I'm glad they didn't delete the last word from Cat on a Hot Tin Roof. | ||
| Mark_lynch (Mark_lynch) Username: Mark_lynch Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 217.171.129.69 |
Stephen Gallagher makes an interesting point about pro-critics. He says they've a remit to entertain, are in the crowd-pleasing business too. Worth bearing in mind. | ||
| Mark_lynch (Mark_lynch) Username: Mark_lynch Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 217.171.129.69 |
Oops. Sorry. Read the initial posts here quickly and thought it was a pro review. Me knobhead. (Must say, tho, I do suffer perverse glee when someone hates something of mine enough to throw things at it. As I seem to remember Stephen King saying, if you can't get someone to like your stuff at least enrage them. Or something like that.) | ||
| Mark_lynch (Mark_lynch) Username: Mark_lynch Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 217.171.129.69 |
Not using the word 'suddenly' is one of Elmore Leonard's rules of writing. I agree with the sentiment of that law but wouldn't stick to the letter of it. | ||
| Allybird (Allybird) Username: Allybird Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 88.104.135.73 |
'My point was that his comments are pretty desperate. Indeed, I'm reassured that if this is all he can find to criticise, then the book's sound. Listen to your enemies; they tell you what you need to hear. I listened. Cheers, Albs. I feel less apprehensive about the book's release now.' Exactly! | ||
| Gary Fry (Gary_fry) Username: Gary_fry Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 86.23.61.249 |
Oh, but dear God, modern horror falls short of Albatrash's superior knowledge yet again! At the climax of the finest modern horror novel of all - The Shining - Mr King writes (page 399 of the PB): "The mallet fell from them and thumped to the rug. That was all. But suddenly his dad was there, looking at him in mortal agony . . ." Shocking! Modern horror is all about avoiding this like the plague! | ||
| Frank (Frank) Username: Frank Registered: 09-2008 Posted From: 85.222.86.21 |
It's interesting how many authors like King make a point of underlining what they consider good and bad writing, and how quickly it invades the medium as if it had never existed before. As Mark says of Leonard's rules of writing, good advice, but to stick to the letter of it might prove detrimental. Look at Vonnegut. He said something along the lines of the semi-colon having no use whatsoever, that it's purpose was whore like (or something like that, I'm paraphrasing yet again). And what about King's grammar section in 'On Writing'. No nonsense stuff, yep. Do I agree? Yes, indeed. Yet major literary writers such as Michael Cunningham with 'The Hours' can get away with it in reams. How about dialogue attribution and the use of adverbs? Yet what about adverbs outside of dialogue attribution. It's food for thought on some many different, and conflicting levels. I'm a bit of a bore, I find this area of written language fascinating, if at times rather frustrating. | ||
| Frank (Frank) Username: Frank Registered: 09-2008 Posted From: 85.222.86.21 |
I was referring to Micahel Cunnigham's use of the passive. Did it spoil the book for me? No. Not all. I'm a contradictory fool at times. | ||
| Gary Fry (Gary_fry) Username: Gary_fry Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 86.23.61.249 |
He doesn't learn, that King guy, does he? On page 802 of the PB of Under The Dome he writes: " . . . the air around him was suddenly full of unseen buzzing bees." Shameful! Embarrassing! | ||
| Gary Fry (Gary_fry) Username: Gary_fry Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 86.23.61.249 |
I SEE ALBIE'S CAPS-LOCK KEY STILL WORKS. REMARKABLE GIVEN THE NUMBER OF TIMES IT'S BEEN USED DOWN THE YEARS. AN ALTERNATIVE TO CAPS-LOCK - AND IT'S SOMETHING WHICH ALLOWS YOU TO GET THE MESSAGE ACROSS WITHOUT SUCH OBVIOUS EXASPERATION - IS TO ACTUALLY MEET UP WITH THE PERSON WITH WHOM YOU'RE TRYING TO COMMUNICATE. SO, ALBIE, SINCE FOR SOME REASON I'M UNABLE TO POST TO YOUTUBE WITHOUT GETTING AN 'ERROR' MESSAGE, TELL ME WHEN AND WHERE YOU'D LIKE TO MEET IN HULL AND I'LL SHOW UP AND WE CAN HAVE A GOOD OLD CHAT ABOUT THIS MATTER. UNTIL THEN, HOWEVER, I'D KINDLY REQUEST THAT YOU KEEP YOUR PETTY AND MEANSPIRITED COMMENTS TO YOURSELF. CHEERS. | ||
| Hubert (Hubert) Username: Hubert Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 78.22.237.21 |
Not using the word 'suddenly' is one of Elmore Leonard's rules of writing. I agree with the sentiment of that law but wouldn't stick to the letter of it. "Suddenly it dawned upon me that this man was mad, and dangerously so." (H.P. Lovecraft, "The Electric Executioner", p. 66 in The Horror in the Museum) When you drop the initial word the phrase still works, but there is something missing, no? An additional shade of meaning. I know of course what Leonard is hinting at: the suddenness should be implied by the turn of events and not by the word in itself. | ||
| Gary Fry (Gary_fry) Username: Gary_fry Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 86.23.61.249 |
And Albie falls silent. He always does when I propose a meeting. I guess all Internet bullies are the same. Didn't we have someone else like that here once? Just to be clear: I made no contact with Albie, and have not done so since he decided to leave this message board. He's still a member and his log-in details will work if he chooses to use them. He took it upon himself to approach me via a different route, and since I am unable to post on YouTube (I get an ERROR message) I responded here. That is all. If Albie is now getting into a rage about this (and it does appear so), he should remind himself that he took the decision to make the initial comments, to which I have simply responded. So it goes. | ||
| Mark_lynch (Mark_lynch) Username: Mark_lynch Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 217.171.129.75 |
Elmore Leonard also suggests never describing a character's clothes. Yet he does do it himself in quite a few of books. He himself says they're good rules of thumb, but he's assuming anyone following his rules is smart enough to know when to ignore them. (Incidentally, I'm reading King's Under the Dome and am a bit dismayed at the number of stock phrases I'm tripping over in there. I guess I just expect more from him, as I do and still get from Ramsey.) | ||
| Mark_lynch (Mark_lynch) Username: Mark_lynch Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 217.171.129.75 |
I've just realised that if Gary and Albie were to meet halfway the result would be Bridlington. Now that's horror for you...! | ||
| Frank (Frank) Username: Frank Registered: 09-2008 Posted From: 85.222.86.21 |
That's what King wrote about using adverbs in dialogue attribution, which I think is excellent advice. But then again, I wouldn't expect any writer in the 21st century to use adverbs in dialogue attribution. And to be honest, I've never seen it. But then again, I've never read Virgina Andrews or Barbara Cartland. | ||
| Weber (Weber_gregston) Username: Weber_gregston Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 194.176.105.55 |
King wrote about Gary and Albie while he was talking about adverbs??? Weber exclaimed sharply. | ||
| Gary Fry (Gary_fry) Username: Gary_fry Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 86.23.61.249 |
Although I don't claim to speak for folk here (unlike Albie - see link above), here's a proposal which I'm sure everyone will support: Albie, keep away from me, online or otherwise. I'm more than happy to keep away from you. | ||
| Frank (Frank) Username: Frank Registered: 09-2008 Posted From: 85.222.86.21 |
Are you sure it's Albie? Or is that a stupid question? How do you know it's not one of us in disguise?  | ||
| Craig (Craig) Username: Craig Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 75.4.253.200 |
Egad. I went and visited this Albie's youtube site. ... So did Albie ever wear a giant eyeball mask and play in a San Francisco-based band from the 70's on?... | ||
| Carolinec (Carolinec) Username: Carolinec Registered: 06-2009 Posted From: 82.38.75.85 |
>>I've just realised that if Gary and Albie were to meet halfway the result would be Bridlington. Now that's horror for you...!<< For some strange reason, I read that as: ".. if Gary and Albie were to meet halfway the result would be Bedlam". Hmmm, I wonder if I'm correct there ...? | ||
| Mark_samuels (Mark_samuels) Username: Mark_samuels Registered: 04-2010 Posted From: 86.135.209.40 |
I too had someone compare me to Garth Merenghi on You-Tube once. Throwing that charge around seems to have become a (now-cliched?) means of poking fun at any horror writer. Mark S. | ||
| Skunsworth (Skunsworth) Username: Skunsworth Registered: 05-2009 Posted From: 92.16.25.47 |
There's a great Milligan Goon Show sketch about dialogue attribution adverbs. And I think being compared to the only man ever to write more books than he's read would be a genuine compliment! Who's this Albie fellah anyway? S | ||
| Gcw (Gcw) Username: Gcw Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 81.158.238.131 |
"Who's this Albie fellah anyway? ...." Now lets see...it all started a long, long time ago..... gcw | ||
| Gary Fry (Gary_fry) Username: Gary_fry Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 86.23.61.249 |
A number of people have emailed me today and asked me why I've kept Albie's "pernicious comments" on the YouTube page. So, on the assumption that this is the general view, I've decided to delete them. I think the bottom line is that the world's a better place without having to chance upon such unprovoked spite. | ||
| Skunsworth (Skunsworth) Username: Skunsworth Registered: 05-2009 Posted From: 92.16.25.47 |
I'm sitting comfortably...or is this a horror story? S | ||
| Allybird (Allybird) Username: Allybird Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 88.104.135.73 |
One of a very long line of real life horror stories on here. We go back years... | ||
| Mark_samuels (Mark_samuels) Username: Mark_samuels Registered: 04-2010 Posted From: 86.135.209.40 |
I go back to 1987 in the small press. I've experienced fingertip-hurting horrors beyond the imaginings of any internet-age RCMBers. Mark S. | ||
| Mark_samuels (Mark_samuels) Username: Mark_samuels Registered: 04-2010 Posted From: 86.135.209.40 |
Manual typewriters! Nothing else implied. No stones cast. Oh blimey. Mark S. | ||
| Skunsworth (Skunsworth) Username: Skunsworth Registered: 05-2009 Posted From: 92.16.25.47 |
Don't try to explain that one Mark, I much prefer putting my own imagery to it! S | ||
| Carolinec (Carolinec) Username: Carolinec Registered: 06-2009 Posted From: 82.38.75.85 |
Tee-hee, me too! I was thinking thumbscrews, personally. I wondered where you'd got to, Mark. I missed you! | ||
| Mark_samuels (Mark_samuels) Username: Mark_samuels Registered: 04-2010 Posted From: 86.173.246.188 |
You're naughty Mr S  Thanks, Caroline. It's nice to be missed. I do have a habit of being nomadic when it comes to messageboards. Mark S. | ||
| Skunsworth (Skunsworth) Username: Skunsworth Registered: 05-2009 Posted From: 78.149.223.216 |
Nah, just opinionated and grouchy on occassion!! Nice to have you back, incidentally - all the constant agreements were getting right on my nerves... S | ||
| Zed (Gary_mc) Username: Gary_mc Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 81.96.253.77 |
No they weren't. | ||
| Gary Fry (Gary_fry) Username: Gary_fry Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 86.23.61.249 |
I disagree. | ||
| Mark_samuels (Mark_samuels) Username: Mark_samuels Registered: 04-2010 Posted From: 86.173.242.166 |
I'll take you all on--with both hands tied behind my back, and my legs tied together, and my mouth taped up ... erm ... and my eyes closed. Mark S. | ||
| Gary Fry (Gary_fry) Username: Gary_fry Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 86.23.61.249 |
Kinky. | ||
| Adriana (Adriana) Username: Adriana Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 173.34.12.92 |
| ||
| John Forth (John) Username: John Registered: 05-2008 Posted From: 82.24.1.217 |
Hot in here, isn't it? | ||
| Skunsworth (Skunsworth) Username: Skunsworth Registered: 05-2009 Posted From: 78.149.223.216 |
No it's not. And Mark - you've got no chance, given that I am a master of Dimac! S | ||
| Mick Curtis (Mick) Username: Mick Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 86.174.38.16 |
Do you come from Brentford? | ||
| John Llewellyn Probert (John_l_probert) Username: John_l_probert Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 81.152.74.159 |
Brentford Nylons! | ||
| Skunsworth (Skunsworth) Username: Skunsworth Registered: 05-2009 Posted From: 78.149.223.216 |
Fellow inhabitants of the Triangle!! S |