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Rhysaurus (Rhysaurus)
Username: Rhysaurus

Registered: 01-2010
Posted From: 212.219.233.223
Posted on Tuesday, September 14, 2010 - 12:19 pm:   

As my recent scheme to find a villain for my next novella was more successful than anticipated (I was expecting maybe 38 or 39 people to put their names forward; but in fact the total was 40!) I am currently considering a new project involving lots and lots of real names: YOUR names...

Rather than selecting just a few names from a hat, this new project will be totally inclusive. Anybody who puts their (real) name forward will get a part... Briefly I envisage a refugee ship: everyone who puts their name forward will be a refugee on this vessel. The name of this ship is SS Maudlin Sentiment.

The refugee vessel will be intercepted by the evil captain of a United Nations rescue mission (let's call him Pigwinder Bratbat). He announces that there's only space on his own ship for ONE refugee. To win this place, the refugees must fight each other to the death...

The names can then pair off and have gladiatorial battles. The winner of each bout will go on to fight the winner of other bouts, etc, in a remoseless knockout competition, through quarter finals, semi-finals and the final itself...

A list of possible deaths can be drawn up and a dice can be thrown to determine not only who wins each bout but exactly how the loser meets his or her end.

Do you want to be a part of this project?

If so, please forward your name. I'll collect all the names and next year I'll write the text.

The working title for this project is BLOODY TUCKERIZATION!
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Simon Bestwick (Simon_b)
Username: Simon_b

Registered: 10-2008
Posted From: 86.24.209.217
Posted on Tuesday, September 14, 2010 - 12:22 pm:   

Aye, count me in, good sir.
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Rhysaurus (Rhysaurus)
Username: Rhysaurus

Registered: 01-2010
Posted From: 212.219.233.223
Posted on Tuesday, September 14, 2010 - 12:24 pm:   

Great! I'm hoping the result will be tastless but quirky; and that the quirkiness will warp the tastelessness in a new direction!
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Allybird (Allybird)
Username: Allybird

Registered: 03-2008
Posted From: 88.104.135.73
Posted on Tuesday, September 14, 2010 - 12:41 pm:   

Yes! Me too.
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Zed (Gary_mc)
Username: Gary_mc

Registered: 03-2008
Posted From: 81.96.253.77
Posted on Tuesday, September 14, 2010 - 12:43 pm:   

Ha! I'm in.
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Carolinec (Carolinec)
Username: Carolinec

Registered: 06-2009
Posted From: 82.38.75.85
Posted on Tuesday, September 14, 2010 - 12:47 pm:   

Me too, Rhys! You can use my maiden name, can't you - the one I emailed to you before? Do you want another email from me, or am I in?
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Weber (Weber_gregston)
Username: Weber_gregston

Registered: 03-2008
Posted From: 194.176.105.55
Posted on Tuesday, September 14, 2010 - 12:47 pm:   

Go on, throw me overboard as well. you know my real name
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Rhysaurus (Rhysaurus)
Username: Rhysaurus

Registered: 01-2010
Posted From: 212.219.233.223
Posted on Tuesday, September 14, 2010 - 12:51 pm:   

You're all in...

One of the things I intend to do with this project is push glibbness and flippancy to their limit... Why? Because they are qualities that are always overlooked -- they must be the most overlooked of all essential human qualities!

People often dismiss things as 'glib' or 'flippant' and it's generally accepted that those words are enough to justify the dismissal. But glibbness and flippancy have been with us since the dawn of time. They are inextricably linked to the human condition. Therefore they must be significant qualities...
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Carolinec (Carolinec)
Username: Carolinec

Registered: 06-2009
Posted From: 82.38.75.85
Posted on Tuesday, September 14, 2010 - 12:55 pm:   

Rhys - I've just seen your response to me on the other thread, and responded to that one. If you think my name would be better for "The Young Dictator", then please use me there instead. Thanks!
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Mick Curtis (Mick)
Username: Mick

Registered: 03-2008
Posted From: 95.131.110.102
Posted on Tuesday, September 14, 2010 - 01:46 pm:   

Ooh yes please - me too!
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Hubert (Hubert)
Username: Hubert

Registered: 03-2008
Posted From: 78.22.237.21
Posted on Tuesday, September 14, 2010 - 02:12 pm:   

Count me in.
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John Forth (John)
Username: John

Registered: 05-2008
Posted From: 82.132.139.36
Posted on Tuesday, September 14, 2010 - 03:30 pm:   

Sure, feel free to use and abuse my name as you see fit.
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Mark West (Mark_west)
Username: Mark_west

Registered: 03-2008
Posted From: 217.39.177.173
Posted on Tuesday, September 14, 2010 - 03:49 pm:   

Count me in too, Rhys
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Skip (Wolfnoma)
Username: Wolfnoma

Registered: 07-2010
Posted From: 216.54.20.98
Posted on Tuesday, September 14, 2010 - 04:43 pm:   

Permission to come aboard, SIR?
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Stevie Walsh (Stephenw)
Username: Stephenw

Registered: 03-2009
Posted From: 194.32.31.1
Posted on Tuesday, September 14, 2010 - 05:02 pm:   

Sounds fun, count me in!
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Seanmcd (Seanmcd)
Username: Seanmcd

Registered: 03-2009
Posted From: 86.153.164.70
Posted on Tuesday, September 14, 2010 - 08:51 pm:   

Well why not. I'm game.
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Rhysaurus (Rhysaurus)
Username: Rhysaurus

Registered: 01-2010
Posted From: 212.219.233.223
Posted on Wednesday, September 15, 2010 - 10:10 am:   

I'm hoping to get maybe as many as 100 names involved on this project. Not only will a dice decide who wins each bout; but I'll also use dice to decide how bravely or cowardly the loser meets his/her death, how fast or slow that death is, how gruesome or 'clean', etc.

Tee hee!
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Simon Bestwick (Simon_b)
Username: Simon_b

Registered: 10-2008
Posted From: 86.24.209.217
Posted on Wednesday, September 15, 2010 - 10:24 am:   

So, no bribery will ensure your survival, or even get your through to the semi-final?
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Rhysaurus (Rhysaurus)
Username: Rhysaurus

Registered: 01-2010
Posted From: 212.219.233.223
Posted on Wednesday, September 15, 2010 - 11:55 am:   

No, I never take bribes.
I am so stiff-principled that it sometimes feels I have a broomhandle up my arse.
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Simon Bestwick (Simon_b)
Username: Simon_b

Registered: 10-2008
Posted From: 86.24.209.217
Posted on Wednesday, September 15, 2010 - 12:11 pm:   

Glad to hear it, although I suppose that must get painful!
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Weber (Weber_gregston)
Username: Weber_gregston

Registered: 03-2008
Posted From: 194.176.105.55
Posted on Wednesday, September 15, 2010 - 12:16 pm:   

What about blackmail?
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Rhysaurus (Rhysaurus)
Username: Rhysaurus

Registered: 01-2010
Posted From: 62.121.31.177
Posted on Wednesday, September 15, 2010 - 01:28 pm:   

I'm not racist, Weber. Pass him over...
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Weber (Weber_gregston)
Username: Weber_gregston

Registered: 03-2008
Posted From: 194.176.105.55
Posted on Wednesday, September 15, 2010 - 01:45 pm:   

Sounds like you've just turned that into a perverted bribe...
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Rhysaurus (Rhysaurus)
Username: Rhysaurus

Registered: 01-2010
Posted From: 62.121.31.177
Posted on Wednesday, September 15, 2010 - 01:50 pm:   

I'm proving my liberal credentials. Even though I'm a straight white man I'm willing to make a joke about having gay sex with a black man. According to psychologists, this proves I'm extra comfortable with my own identity.

Something along those lines anyway... Like Dutch football fans wearing orange Eiffel Towers on their hats when watching their team play France... I read somewhere that it means that Dutch fans are more confident than fans from other nations.

Actually having gay sex, or wearing the real Eiffel Tower on your head... Well, that's different, of course...
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Rhysaurus (Rhysaurus)
Username: Rhysaurus

Registered: 01-2010
Posted From: 212.219.233.223
Posted on Sunday, September 09, 2012 - 11:50 am:   

TUCKERIZE YOUR BACKSIDES!!

Hello folks!

I wouldn't normally trouble you with this reminder of my existence, but as the initial idea for the project was first mooted here two years ago -- on this very thread -- I feel that posting the following information is justified to a certain degree...

The original scheme of the 'Mass Tuckerization Project' has changed somewhat over time but the essentials are the same. Check out the following link if you want to know more:
http://meteorhousepress.com/stringent/

Scroll down a bit to see the part relevant to Tuckerization... Auction starts tomorrow! It's all for a good cause!!
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Rhysaurus (Rhysaurus)
Username: Rhysaurus

Registered: 01-2010
Posted From: 212.219.233.223
Posted on Monday, September 10, 2012 - 04:26 pm:   

Today is the first day of the STRINGENT STRANGE charity auction! If you want to be a gladiator in my new novel (due out soon from Meteor House) then why not bid for the chance?

The auction will continue until September 16th and the six highest bidders will appear in the book fighting a famous writer to the death (you may choose which writer you want to fight!)...

The monies raised from this auction will go to Animal Aid, so your fictional death will help to safeguard real life. For more details and the chance to make a bid please click on this link to the publisher's website:
http://meteorhousepress.com/charity-auction/

sadiator

In this photo you can see me dressed as a typical gladiator. With bin bag tunic; orange frisbee shield; bucket helmet; and mop lance... Total cost of outfit: about 3.50

WHY BE A SADIATOR? BE A GLADIATOR!!
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Hubert (Hubert)
Username: Hubert

Registered: 03-2008
Posted From: 178.116.60.174
Posted on Monday, September 10, 2012 - 05:52 pm:   

I knew you had it in you, Rhys.
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Craig (Craig)
Username: Craig

Registered: 03-2008
Posted From: 99.126.164.88
Posted on Tuesday, September 11, 2012 - 05:23 am:   

Is that a giant condom you're holding?
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Rhysaurus (Rhysaurus)
Username: Rhysaurus

Registered: 01-2010
Posted From: 212.219.233.223
Posted on Tuesday, September 11, 2012 - 11:07 am:   

Heh heh!
Yeah, the best kind of protection...

Today is auction day two:
http://meteorhousepress.com/charity-auction/
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Rhysaurus (Rhysaurus)
Username: Rhysaurus

Registered: 01-2010
Posted From: 212.219.233.223
Posted on Tuesday, September 11, 2012 - 11:47 am:   

So the auction got off to a hopping start: a hopping start is like a flying start but further back in the history of evolution...

So far four people have bid for the right to be gladiators... One of them is the publisher himself. Perhaps he mistakenly thinks it's an orc-shun (i.e. the avoidance of orcs) rather than an auction?

This means there is room for two more gladiators... But of course the more bids the better; the more money raised for Animal Aid the happier a bunny I'll be. But that's nothing compared to how happy the real bunnies will be!

To bid for the right to be a gladiator please click on this link to the Meteor House website:
http://meteorhousepress.com/charity-auction/

dustup

In the photo you can see me demonstrating a style of gladiator known as the "dustup". The previous photograph shows me dressed as a "charladdie". There are many other kinds...
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Mbfg (Mbfg)
Username: Mbfg

Registered: 09-2010
Posted From: 212.219.63.204
Posted on Tuesday, September 11, 2012 - 06:07 pm:   

Count me in.

Cheers
Terry
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Rhysaurus (Rhysaurus)
Username: Rhysaurus

Registered: 01-2010
Posted From: 212.219.233.223
Posted on Wednesday, September 12, 2012 - 12:27 pm:   

Hello Terry!

Well, if you do want to get involved you only have to bid $25 to get a copy of the book and a position as a gladiator in the story itself. That's how things stand at present. But someone might come along with a higher bid, I guess...

Alternatively, if you just pre-order the book you can be a spectator during the fights... For more details check out the publisher's website here:
http://meteorhousepress.com/charity-auction/

The auction has been going for two days and has raised $396 so far. I'm hoping it might break the $500 barrier by the end of the week...

Anyway... the third type of gladiator that I am here demonstrating is called the "existentialist". It tends to fight against itself. Here we see it at auto-fisticuffs. In the red corner, it's me. And in the blue corner, it's me! Who will win?
fisticuffs

This can be done with sticks as well as fists. Check out my blog to see how:
http://rhysaurus.blogspot.co.uk/
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Rhysaurus (Rhysaurus)
Username: Rhysaurus

Registered: 01-2010
Posted From: 212.219.233.223
Posted on Wednesday, September 12, 2012 - 12:27 pm:   

Oops! That is MASSIVE!!
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Rhysaurus (Rhysaurus)
Username: Rhysaurus

Registered: 01-2010
Posted From: 212.219.233.223
Posted on Friday, September 14, 2012 - 11:44 am:   

All six places have now been filled.
But you can still secure a place as a gladiator by bidding higher than $40.
http://meteorhousepress.com/charity-auction/

Cheers!

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