A shit sandwich of films Log Out | Topics | Search
Moderators | Edit Profile

RAMSEY CAMPBELL » Discussion » A shit sandwich of films « Previous Next »

Author Message
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Weber (Weber_gregston)
Username: Weber_gregston

Registered: 03-2008
Posted From: 194.176.105.56
Posted on Tuesday, March 22, 2011 - 04:17 pm:   

I watched a shit sandwich of films this weekend. Not any old shit sandwich – but a club sandwich

I started with Shutter Island – Very well made, good performances all round but I thought this was more than a tad predictable. I’d been told it had an amazing twist that you’ll never see coming – instead it had standard psychiatric ward story twist number 2 (number 1 is the doctor isn’t really the doctor but a patient who’s killed him and is pretending to be the doctor). All the same it was a good chunk of bread to sandwich the crap.

The first slice of shit was Demonium – by the director of Violent shit 1,2 and 3. This clearly had a higher budget than the Violent Shit trilogy and was a good deal more subtle. That’s not saying much though seeing as the Violent shit films really do live up to their names and are as subtle as a sledgehammer in the nads. Demonium is as subtle as a velvet covered sledgehammer in the nads.

I actually quite enjoyed this although I would hesititate to actually recommend it. The acting is atrocious at best (although bad dubbing from Italian to English hasn’t helped). The story is cack handed to say the least. It starts with a double murder and then jumps back a year so you know instantly which characters will survive to the beginning of the movie… it takes away from the tension somewhat. However there is a sense that everyone had great fun making it and most of the ladies do take their tops off (the topless only nudity is the main sign of restraint in the direction – Violent shit 2 Mummy Hold My Hand features a voyeur spying on a naked woman where the nudity is of gynaecological closeness).The gore is better done than the VS trilogy but there’s less of that as well. In the hands of a good director and better screenwriter, this might have been a good film.

The next slice of bread was Three Extremes – a compilation of 3 asian horrors from top directors. Dumplings was very disturbing with it’s the rich eating the poor allegories. The middle section who’s name escapes me was very good also – where a disgruntled extra in a successful director’s films takes the director and his wife hostage to try to prove that the director is a bad person despite his reputation for niceness – directed by Park Chow-thingy of Oldboy fame it is well worth catching. Takeshi Miike’s section – Box – is a nightmare brought to screen. Very restrained in the use of gore by his standards he pulls off a beautiful dreamlike film where we’re never quite certain what’s real and what’s not.

Then came the next layer of shite.

Shark in Venice… Starring the lowest rent of the Baldwin brothers, putting in a performance so wooden you could build a shed from it, this is a cross between Jaws, a mafia movie and an Indiana Jones film that fails on every count. The plot, concerning a hunt for treasure underneath Venice where the local Mafia boss has realeased loads of Great White Sharks as “Guard dogs” for it – a silly idea when they keep eating your own henchemen and anyone that you send to look for the treasure, is silly beyond belief and contains a lack of regard for consequences worthy of nicky Pacion at his absolute worst.

In one scene a shark attacks a gondola, eating all occupants in front of dozens of witnesses, but the news report we hear on the TV in the next scene mentions only that the police are dealing with a record number of missing person cases… In another scene, a woman is arguing with her drunk boyfriend when a shark jumps out of the canal to eat him. As it does this, if you watch her, she fades out of the shot as if teleported out by a passing spaceship… The sharks attack Stephen Baldwin twice. In one of these attacks he is seen to lose a leg, but in the next scene he wakes in hospital in one piece, without even any bandages on his leg or shoulder where he was also bitten earlier on.

This is rancid shite of the worst type and should not be watched by anyone.

The final slice of bread to complete the shite sandwich was Heat. I don’t really need to say anything – Pacino overacts, De Niro is fantastic, the story is almost perfect, direction great etc… I can't believe it's taken me this long to get round to watching it.
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

John Llewellyn Probert (John_l_probert)
Username: John_l_probert

Registered: 03-2008
Posted From: 194.176.105.56
Posted on Tuesday, March 22, 2011 - 05:29 pm:   

We've seen Shark in Venice - sorry Weber, we could have warned you off that one but we didn't think anyone other than us would even consider watching it!
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Stevie Walsh (Stephenw)
Username: Stephenw

Registered: 03-2009
Posted From: 194.32.31.1
Posted on Tuesday, March 22, 2011 - 05:45 pm:   

I haven't seen it and still tried to warn him off... sometimes you can detect the whiff of pure drech a mile off.
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Weber (Weber_gregston)
Username: Weber_gregston

Registered: 03-2008
Posted From: 194.176.105.56
Posted on Tuesday, March 22, 2011 - 06:07 pm:   

I only paid a pound for it... I still feel ripped off. I thought it might be one of those that's so bad it's funny. It wasn't. It was so bad it was fucking awful.

Add Your Message Here
Post:
Bold text Italics Underline Create a hyperlink Insert a clipart image

Username: Posting Information:
This is a private posting area. Only registered users and moderators may post messages here.
Password:
Options: Enable HTML code in message
Automatically activate URLs in message
Action:

Topics | Last Day | Last Week | Tree View | Search | Help/Instructions | Program Credits Administration