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Stevie Walsh (Stephenw)
Username: Stephenw

Registered: 03-2009
Posted From: 212.183.128.125
Posted on Saturday, August 03, 2013 - 07:59 pm:   

I've just recently discovered the most nauseating and orgasmic sweets in the world and I am hopelessly addicted to them.

Has anyone here ever tried Barnetts Mega Sours? They come in a variety of fruit flavours in old fashioned jars and a quarter bag costs 1.50 and is worth every penny, folks.

The label on the jar has a Health Warning advising no more than one an hour should be taken and under no circumstances should more than one be placed in the mouth at the same time due to potential irritation and damage to the tongue and stomach lining. I'm not making this up.

They are spherical gobstopper sized boiled sweets in an assortment of menacingly lurid colours. Place one in your mouth and the body's instant self defence mechanism is to gag and want to spit it out as quickly as possible. For the first ten seconds it feels like someone has stuffed rancid socks in your mouth in an attempt to suffocate the life out of you. The face invariably screws up and the eyes stream while the brain shrieks "Poison - eject!!" It took me several attempts to get past this stage but the nice old lady in the shop insisted they were very popular and I had to know why...

Try not to suck but just hold the thing in your mouth and count to ten when the sourness blessedly starts to reach bearable levels. After about a minute you can just about speak again and then the most glorious thing happens. A lovely fruit sweetness starts to creep through prompting an involuntary smile of surprised pleasure and your eyes can see again. Keep sucking and after a while the fizzy sherbet in the centre starts to leak out and I swear it's like every taste bud in your mouth has a simultaneous orgasm. One of the most sublime flavoursome experiences of my life and worth every ounce of pain. I have a raspberry one in my mouth now and think I'm hooked.

Honestly, these things are sensational!!
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Carolinec (Carolinec)
Username: Carolinec

Registered: 06-2009
Posted From: 92.237.187.186
Posted on Saturday, August 03, 2013 - 08:52 pm:   

Sweets with health warnings!? I just had to go and look these up:
http://www.chocolatebuttons.co.uk/mega-sour-lemon-balls.html

And Stevie's right - they DO carry a health warning:
"Please Note: Excessive consumption within a brief period may cause temporary mouth and or stomach irritation."

Just be careful how many of these things you eat, Stevie!
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Stevie Walsh (Stephenw)
Username: Stephenw

Registered: 03-2009
Posted From: 212.183.128.125
Posted on Saturday, August 03, 2013 - 09:01 pm:   

They're lethal, Caroline, but oddly addictive if you can get over the initial revulsion. I haven't been brave enough to try the apple ones yet... the radioactive green colour and thought of sour cooking apples is just too unsettling. Maybe one day.
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David_lees (David_lees)
Username: David_lees

Registered: 12-2011
Posted From: 92.22.35.223
Posted on Saturday, August 03, 2013 - 10:14 pm:   

I'm not quite sure I approve of trying to overcome your body's attempts to reject poisonous, harmful foodstuffs myself :-)
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David_lees (David_lees)
Username: David_lees

Registered: 12-2011
Posted From: 92.22.35.223
Posted on Saturday, August 03, 2013 - 10:23 pm:   

Imagine a horror story where the protagonist finds a sweet shop run by a (seemingly) nice old lady who insists he keeps trying the sweets, even though they're utterly disgusting and his body rejects them.

We'd never believe it if he kept trying
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Carolinec (Carolinec)
Username: Carolinec

Registered: 06-2009
Posted From: 92.237.187.186
Posted on Saturday, August 03, 2013 - 10:48 pm:   

I must admit, David, when I read Stevie's description of the sweet shop owner - ".. but the nice old lady in the shop insisted they were very popular" - I thought it would make a perfect segment in an old Amicus film!
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Stevie Walsh (Stephenw)
Username: Stephenw

Registered: 03-2009
Posted From: 212.183.128.125
Posted on Saturday, August 03, 2013 - 11:49 pm:   

True story!
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Craig (Craig)
Username: Craig

Registered: 03-2008
Posted From: 99.126.164.88
Posted on Sunday, August 04, 2013 - 04:31 am:   

I always figured Stevie went for the tarts, but...
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Stevie Walsh (Stephenw)
Username: Stephenw

Registered: 03-2009
Posted From: 194.32.31.1
Posted on Thursday, August 08, 2013 - 11:48 am:   

I was right... the apple ones are truly terrifying!! Uuurrgghh... and yet, YUM!!
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John Llewellyn Probert (John_l_probert)
Username: John_l_probert

Registered: 03-2008
Posted From: 86.174.128.101
Posted on Thursday, August 08, 2013 - 10:44 pm:   

I was handed one of the apple ones at work - they're dark green, aren't they? I couldn't keep it in my mouth for more than a few seconds!
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Stevie Walsh (Stephenw)
Username: Stephenw

Registered: 03-2009
Posted From: 86.24.62.55
Posted on Friday, August 09, 2013 - 07:34 am:   

That's the chaps, John! I've worked out the key is to just hold them clamped in your mouth without moving or sucking until the first dreadful surge has passed and then tentatively start to roll them around. The effect after about a minute when the sweetness and fizzy sherbet starts to kick in is truly orgasmic on the tongue. Honestly!!
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Carolinec (Carolinec)
Username: Carolinec

Registered: 06-2009
Posted From: 92.237.187.186
Posted on Friday, August 09, 2013 - 07:43 pm:   

It's no good, I'm going to have to take a walk down to the local village "olde worlde" sweet shop and see if the old lady who runs it has any of these ...
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David_lees (David_lees)
Username: David_lees

Registered: 12-2011
Posted From: 92.22.35.223
Posted on Friday, August 09, 2013 - 08:30 pm:   

Caroline, try and sneak a photo of the old lady and post it here. If it's the same old lady who served Stevie there's DEFINITELY something spooky going on :-)

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