It's over Log Out | Topics | Search
Moderators | Edit Profile

RAMSEY CAMPBELL » Discussion » It's over « Previous Next »

Author Message
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Craig (Craig)
Username: Craig

Registered: 03-2008
Posted From: 75.16.78.94
Posted on Thursday, January 07, 2010 - 01:56 am:   

We're all toast. Kiss the cute chick down the street, kick granny down the stairs if you've never liked her, spend all your money on hookers and coke and then drive yourself over the nearest cliff.

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/2795981/Supernova-may-wipe-out-the-Ear th.html
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Chris_morris (Chris_morris)
Username: Chris_morris

Registered: 04-2008
Posted From: 98.220.97.79
Posted on Thursday, January 07, 2010 - 06:55 am:   

Well, even if the star went supernova tomorrow, and even if the resulting explosion traveled at twice the speed of light, it'd still take 1,630 years to reach us here on Earth.

So kick granny down the stairs, sure -- but do it very slowly.
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Craig (Craig)
Username: Craig

Registered: 03-2008
Posted From: 75.5.0.112
Posted on Thursday, January 07, 2010 - 07:10 am:   

Oh... gosh... you're right... er, duh!

So. Anyone know how you put a granny back together?
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Stephen Walsh (Stephenw)
Username: Stephenw

Registered: 03-2009
Posted From: 82.17.252.126
Posted on Thursday, January 07, 2010 - 09:20 am:   

Does this mean the space race is back on again!?
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Steveduffy (Steveduffy)
Username: Steveduffy

Registered: 05-2009
Posted From: 86.162.149.113
Posted on Thursday, January 07, 2010 - 10:25 am:   

Too late. Now, if I could just find a use for all these hookers and coke... can you give me a few minutes, okay?
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Jonathan (Jonathan)
Username: Jonathan

Registered: 03-2008
Posted From: 91.109.171.18
Posted on Thursday, January 07, 2010 - 11:05 am:   

Good old The Sun, fuckwitted as ever.
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Stephen Walsh (Stephenw)
Username: Stephenw

Registered: 03-2009
Posted From: 194.32.31.1
Posted on Thursday, January 07, 2010 - 11:43 am:   

Interesting times when the tabloids are battling to out-Armageddon each other!
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Carolinec (Carolinec)
Username: Carolinec

Registered: 06-2009
Posted From: 82.38.75.85
Posted on Thursday, January 07, 2010 - 01:38 pm:   

Craig - just don't read The Sun.

I hope your granny's alright again now anyway. More power to grannies, I say!
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Stephen Walsh (Stephenw)
Username: Stephenw

Registered: 03-2009
Posted From: 194.32.31.1
Posted on Thursday, January 07, 2010 - 03:48 pm:   

Caroline, I just want to say... I think you're an absolute gem.
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Carolinec (Carolinec)
Username: Carolinec

Registered: 06-2009
Posted From: 82.38.75.85
Posted on Thursday, January 07, 2010 - 04:24 pm:   

Awwww ... come here and I'll give you a great big cyber-hug, Stephen.
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Craig (Craig)
Username: Craig

Registered: 03-2008
Posted From: 75.5.1.14
Posted on Thursday, January 07, 2010 - 04:38 pm:   

Waaaaaaaaaaitaminnut... Chris is trying to cornswaggle me (that's a word, right?)....

Turning this into an argument about space-time - we would never KNOW if this star explodes, at the MOMENT the star explodes - we can only ever see/experience what is happening to this star some 3,000 light years after it's happened. It might HAVE exploded 3,000 light years ago - and so it's just about to collectively f*ck our days up. So it's a GOOD thing I kicked granny down the stairs!

Isn't time relative to space? I can only perceive events occurring around me in the exact time they are occurring where I stand. A boy playing on a swing is actually an event happening an impossible-to-calculate amount of time in the past - the only time we as individuals can ever experience, is the very time within the very space, wherein we exist. The only way to accurately "see" something happening at the exact time it IS happening, is to physically get closer and closer to the object. No matter how far away an object is in the universe, it really is, in some respects, happening right "now."
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Stephen Walsh (Stephenw)
Username: Stephenw

Registered: 03-2009
Posted From: 194.32.31.1
Posted on Thursday, January 07, 2010 - 04:42 pm:   

I've come over all flustered.

You know you look a lot like Samantha from 'Sex & The City' in my imagination - but with the heart of, ummm, the one with the heart...
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Stephen Walsh (Stephenw)
Username: Stephenw

Registered: 03-2009
Posted From: 194.32.31.1
Posted on Thursday, January 07, 2010 - 04:43 pm:   

Feck!! No, not you Craig (Jaysus help me!!)

I meant Caroline... seriously I did!!!!
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Nathaniel Tapley (Natt)
Username: Natt

Registered: 11-2009
Posted From: 78.149.172.181
Posted on Thursday, January 07, 2010 - 04:46 pm:   

Yes, but even if it goes supernova, it won't actually explode for another 10 million years. Unless Granny is planning on a very, very long life you might want to apologise...

So, even if we don't learn about it until 3,000 years after it has happened, we'll still have 9,997,000 years to prepare. And I like to leave everything until the last possible minute...

(Source: http://io9.com/5440266/nearby-nova-could-spell-doom-for-far-future-earth )
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Weber_gregston (Weber_gregston)
Username: Weber_gregston

Registered: 03-2008
Posted From: 194.176.105.56
Posted on Thursday, January 07, 2010 - 04:47 pm:   

It doesn't matter because a comet will smash into the planet in 2057 anyway apparently and wipe out life as we know it.
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Craig (Craig)
Username: Craig

Registered: 03-2008
Posted From: 75.5.1.14
Posted on Thursday, January 07, 2010 - 04:48 pm:   

It's okay if discussions on space-time and quantum physics do get you all going, Stephen... we are not here to judge....
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Weber_gregston (Weber_gregston)
Username: Weber_gregston

Registered: 03-2008
Posted From: 194.176.105.56
Posted on Thursday, January 07, 2010 - 04:49 pm:   

All that coke is making me burp. Never could take my fizzy drinks.
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Craig (Craig)
Username: Craig

Registered: 03-2008
Posted From: 75.5.1.14
Posted on Thursday, January 07, 2010 - 04:54 pm:   

Okay, Nathanial: this is all testament to the inability of journalists (?) to communicate, that or their willful deceit.

Here are two sentences from that article: "A white dwarf 3,260 light-years from Earth - mere walking distance in cosmic terms - looks like it could go supernova...." And then, later: "The current consensus is that T Pyxidis, if it goes supernova at all, won't explode for some ten million years."

What the f...?!? This is analogous to me saying, "See that volcano over there? It looks like it might explode!" [after panic has set in] "Oh wait - I left out the 'about 1,000 years from now' part, didn't I?"
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Nathaniel Tapley (Natt)
Username: Natt

Registered: 11-2009
Posted From: 78.149.172.181
Posted on Thursday, January 07, 2010 - 05:01 pm:   

No, it's just that 'going supernova' doesn't necessarily mean 'instantaneously exploding'. Rather, going supernova, presumably, is the process which will result in the explosion of the star.

At least that's how I and my Granny read it.
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Carolinec (Carolinec)
Username: Carolinec

Registered: 06-2009
Posted From: 82.38.75.85
Posted on Thursday, January 07, 2010 - 05:07 pm:   

Stephen says:
I've come over all flustered.

You know you look a lot like Samantha from 'Sex & The City' in my imagination - but with the heart of, ummm, the one with the heart...

[panic sets in]

Feck!! No, not you Craig (Jaysus help me!!)

I meant Caroline... seriously I did!!!!

Craig says:
It's okay if discussions on space-time and quantum physics do get you all going, Stephen... we are not here to judge....

=================================================================

I just choked on my coke after that exchange, and snorted it up my nostrils. Fizzy drinks up the nostrils isn't funny.
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Carolinec (Carolinec)
Username: Carolinec

Registered: 06-2009
Posted From: 82.38.75.85
Posted on Thursday, January 07, 2010 - 05:11 pm:   

Oh and Stephen, I'm afraid the only celebrity I've ever been mistaken for is Jo Brand - eeeeek!

Anyway, this discussion (the one abut stars going supernova, not me and Stephen flirting with each other) is irrelevant when global warming is going to get us all first, isn't it?
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Weber_gregston (Weber_gregston)
Username: Weber_gregston

Registered: 03-2008
Posted From: 194.176.105.56
Posted on Thursday, January 07, 2010 - 05:15 pm:   

The comet will get us before global warming does.

unless the parakeets mutate and eat us all before that because of the radioactive gloop buried under their mating grounds...
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Carolinec (Carolinec)
Username: Carolinec

Registered: 06-2009
Posted From: 82.38.75.85
Posted on Thursday, January 07, 2010 - 05:46 pm:   

>>The comet will get us before global warming does.<<

Bet you it doesn't. If it does, you win; if it doesn't, I win. Oh, wait a minute. If either of them gets us, neither of us will have to pay out anyway. Ah, that's OK - that's the kind of bet I like. I won't have to pay out if I lose!
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Craig (Craig)
Username: Craig

Registered: 03-2008
Posted From: 75.5.7.60
Posted on Thursday, January 07, 2010 - 05:50 pm:   

I'll bet BOTH of you that, 100 years after we're all dead, "man-made global warming crisis" will have been categorized-and-forgotten along with theories of a flat Earth, and a big Greek and/or a giant turtle holding up the planet.
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Carolinec (Carolinec)
Username: Carolinec

Registered: 06-2009
Posted From: 82.38.75.85
Posted on Thursday, January 07, 2010 - 05:53 pm:   

How much d'you wanna bet, Craig? Oh no, hang on a minute - I'm not falling for THAT!
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Chris_morris (Chris_morris)
Username: Chris_morris

Registered: 04-2008
Posted From: 98.220.97.79
Posted on Thursday, January 07, 2010 - 07:21 pm:   

>> No matter how far away an object is in the universe, it really is, in some respects, happening right "now."

Very Star Trek, I must say. But quite right, I'm sure. Good one, Craig. I must amend my calculations. Good thing I have a million years to check my digits.
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Ian Alexander Martin (Iam)
Username: Iam

Registered: 10-2009
Posted From: 64.180.64.74
Posted on Friday, January 08, 2010 - 07:52 pm:   

According to Grant Morrison, in the graphic series The Invisibles, we're going to have the world end on December 2, 2012 at some specific time I forget now (and not sure if it's GMT or what).

So… forget the comet, and the warming, and the boy on the swing.

[head off to seek someone's Gran]
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Darren O. Godfrey (Darren_o_godfrey)
Username: Darren_o_godfrey

Registered: 03-2008
Posted From: 207.200.116.133
Posted on Friday, January 08, 2010 - 08:54 pm:   

"According to Grant Morrison, in the graphic series The Invisibles, we're going to have the world end on December 2, 2012 at some specific time I forget now (and not sure if it's GMT or what). "

In that instance, what has always been a day of invariably bad luck for me would be so for the rest of the world as well.

(It's also my birthday.)
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Craig (Craig)
Username: Craig

Registered: 03-2008
Posted From: 75.4.235.106
Posted on Wednesday, January 13, 2010 - 03:14 am:   

Okay, if the supernova don't get us, then THIS, whatever it is, certainly will:

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20100112/ap_on_sc/us_sci_space_miss

I dunno, I'm thinking only Des probably knows what's happening... what is happening here, Des?...
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Weber_gregston (Weber_gregston)
Username: Weber_gregston

Registered: 03-2008
Posted From: 194.176.105.56
Posted on Wednesday, January 13, 2010 - 11:20 am:   

It's the message beacon for the parakeets I warned you about
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Craig (Craig)
Username: Craig

Registered: 03-2008
Posted From: 75.5.10.3
Posted on Wednesday, January 13, 2010 - 08:06 pm:   

And yet more evidence it's over-time:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-1242823/Doomsday-clock-moved-worl ds-scientists-today.html

Unsettling - except for that last paragraph, which might actually be a reason to turn back the clock.
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Des (Des)
Username: Des

Registered: 06-2008
Posted From: 86.169.220.102
Posted on Wednesday, January 13, 2010 - 08:12 pm:   

ROY ORBISON:

Your baby doesn't love you any more

Golden days before they end
Whisper secrets to the wind
Your baby won't be near you any more

Tender nights before they fly
Send falling stars that seem to cry
Your baby doesn't want you any more
It's over

It breaks your heart in two
To know she's been untrue
But, oh, what will you do
When she says to you
There's someone new
We're through, we're through
It's over, it's over, it's over

All the rainbows in the sky
Start to weep, then say goodbye
You won't be seeing rainbows any more

Setting suns before they fall
Echo to you that's all, that's all
But you'll see lonely sunsets after all

It's over, it's over, it's over
It's over
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Tony (Tony)
Username: Tony

Registered: 03-2008
Posted From: 81.157.23.22
Posted on Thursday, January 14, 2010 - 04:45 pm:   

Talk of these things actually makes me genuinely suicidal. I wish we could unknow them.
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Weber_gregston (Weber_gregston)
Username: Weber_gregston

Registered: 03-2008
Posted From: 194.176.105.56
Posted on Thursday, January 14, 2010 - 04:53 pm:   

Sorry, I should never have mentioned the parakeets.
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Simon Bestwick (Simon_b)
Username: Simon_b

Registered: 10-2008
Posted From: 212.121.214.109
Posted on Friday, January 15, 2010 - 12:11 pm:   

Er, Craig... you did notice the Doomsday Clock was moved one minute BACK? Which means that the risk of total human annihilation is considered to be LESS, not MORE.
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Weber_gregston (Weber_gregston)
Username: Weber_gregston

Registered: 03-2008
Posted From: 194.176.105.56
Posted on Friday, January 15, 2010 - 02:00 pm:   

Back? I just heard that the moles are joining force with the Parakeets... It should have jumped forward by 6 minutes
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Craig (Craig)
Username: Craig

Registered: 03-2008
Posted From: 75.4.242.148
Posted on Friday, January 15, 2010 - 03:58 pm:   

No, I missed that, Simon! Wtf?!...

Reading it now, I guess my mind simply couldn't believe these guys were moving it back because of Obama, so it simply believed they were moving it forward.

Anyone on Earth who believes Obama's approach to Iran will make Iran do jack-sh*t shouldn't be allowed to touch a world clock at all, imho....
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Weber_gregston (Weber_gregston)
Username: Weber_gregston

Registered: 03-2008
Posted From: 212.121.214.114
Posted on Tuesday, January 19, 2010 - 02:38 pm:   

What we're all forgetting is that Yellowstone national park is a supervolcano which is overdue for an eruption and they reckon when it goes it'll take most of the civilised world with it.

and America as well.
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Stephen Walsh (Stephenw)
Username: Stephenw

Registered: 03-2009
Posted From: 194.32.31.1
Posted on Tuesday, January 19, 2010 - 03:26 pm:   

Whoopee!!!!
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Craig (Craig)
Username: Craig

Registered: 03-2008
Posted From: 75.4.253.200
Posted on Friday, April 16, 2010 - 04:35 pm:   

Next come the zombies... or the Triffids... or the building-sized tentacles....

http://www.wisn.com/video/23160606/index.html
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Stevie Walsh (Stephenw)
Username: Stephenw

Registered: 03-2009
Posted From: 194.32.31.1
Posted on Friday, April 16, 2010 - 04:47 pm:   

I've gone beyond worrying about the end times and am getting quite excited about it all now... wait till you wake up one morning with a strange creature part-tortoise, part-spider, part octopus with oddly human eyes sat on the pillow beside you.
[see 'The Great Happening' by Belcampo]
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Craig (Craig)
Username: Craig

Registered: 03-2008
Posted From: 75.4.253.200
Posted on Friday, April 16, 2010 - 04:56 pm:   

"... And when I reached quivering fingers out to touch the foul thing, I encountered a resistance. My mind shrieked a final scream that drained me of all sanity. My God, was its last rational thought, I've just touched... A MIRROR!"
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Carolinec (Carolinec)
Username: Carolinec

Registered: 06-2009
Posted From: 82.38.75.85
Posted on Friday, April 16, 2010 - 05:06 pm:   

>>wait till you wake up one morning with a strange creature part-tortoise, part-spider, part octopus with oddly human eyes sat on the pillow beside you.<<

You've seen my husband then?

Going back to thinking about the end of the world though, is it just me or does anyone else (here in the UK, that is) find it quite an odd feeling to have NO PLANES WHATSOEVER in the skies above us at the moment. The silence is quite deafening. It feels really weird.
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Weber (Weber_gregston)
Username: Weber_gregston

Registered: 03-2008
Posted From: 194.176.105.56
Posted on Friday, April 16, 2010 - 05:15 pm:   

I just stepped outside and was hit by a flying lasagne, a garlic baguette and a blacforest gateau.

It must be the fallout from Iceland...
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Weber (Weber_gregston)
Username: Weber_gregston

Registered: 03-2008
Posted From: 194.176.105.56
Posted on Friday, April 16, 2010 - 05:16 pm:   

For Craig - Iceland is a chain of frozen food stores in England.
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Craig (Craig)
Username: Craig

Registered: 03-2008
Posted From: 75.5.4.68
Posted on Friday, April 16, 2010 - 05:33 pm:   

I was gonna say... it sounded more like Italy, France and Germany had spit-up.
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Craig (Craig)
Username: Craig

Registered: 03-2008
Posted From: 75.5.15.175
Posted on Sunday, April 18, 2010 - 02:50 am:   

Uh-oh... "it" is making "its" self known....

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-1266403/Iceland-volcano-space-The -dramatic-ash-plume-engulfing-Britain-seen-above.html
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Ian Alexander Martin (Iam)
Username: Iam

Registered: 10-2009
Posted From: 64.180.64.74
Posted on Sunday, April 18, 2010 - 03:43 am:   

So… now we get to blame the eruption on Munch?
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Ian Alexander Martin (Iam)
Username: Iam

Registered: 10-2009
Posted From: 64.180.64.74
Posted on Sunday, April 18, 2010 - 03:44 am:   

Come to think of it, it's typical for the Daily Mail to blame it on both a foreigner and an artist, isn't it?
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Craig (Craig)
Username: Craig

Registered: 03-2008
Posted From: 75.4.237.152
Posted on Sunday, April 18, 2010 - 05:07 am:   

Does this count as a bizarre coincidence, Stephen?...

I'd just read a short-story by Stanley Ellin, in this big ol' mystery tome I've been mentioning, called "The Moment of Decision." I found it so enjoyable - verging more on horror than mystery - that I decide to look up Mr. Ellin's work, unfamiliar with it as I am. And probably the third place I wind up, is on this page, with this cover....

http://www.fantasticfiction.co.uk/e/stanley-ellin/blessington-method.htm

... and also, doesn't that outline behind the face look like Iceland?!?
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Des (Des)
Username: Des

Registered: 06-2008
Posted From: 86.145.36.248
Posted on Sunday, April 18, 2010 - 09:28 am:   

... and also, doesn't that outline behind the face look like Iceland?!?
==========================

Incredible, and have you seen this picture:
http://shocklinesforum.yuku.com/topic/14911?page=2
First picture on that page.
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Des (Des)
Username: Des

Registered: 06-2008
Posted From: 86.145.36.248
Posted on Sunday, April 18, 2010 - 09:50 am:   

I've now done a blog post on that. Thanks, Craig.
http://weirdmonger.blog-city.com/the_shout_ash_cloud_and_icelands_map.htm
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Craig (Craig)
Username: Craig

Registered: 03-2008
Posted From: 75.4.228.40
Posted on Sunday, April 18, 2010 - 05:06 pm:   

It is weird, Des, seeing them together like that.... Thanks for the nod.

And it's true - I read this story by this author last night, an author I've never before read, and then went hunting for books, and stumbled on that one almost immediately.

(Fwiw: The late Stanley Elllin is amazing. I pulled down another old mystery tome I have, and found in it another story by him, "The House Party." This one was 100% horror, so I have little idea why it was included in this particular mystery anthology. And even though you can see the ending coming from the beginning... wow... the great writers make the ride the whole thing....)
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Stevie Walsh (Stephenw)
Username: Stephenw

Registered: 03-2009
Posted From: 82.17.252.126
Posted on Monday, April 19, 2010 - 01:05 am:   

'The Speciality Of The House' by Stanley Ellin is always included when I try to compile a Top 10 short horror stories list. The only one of his I've read (in a Pan Horror) and as close to perfection as anything I can think of...
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Craig (Craig)
Username: Craig

Registered: 03-2008
Posted From: 75.4.226.59
Posted on Monday, April 19, 2010 - 01:51 am:   

The Merc Retro's proving good to me! I went to the big old used bookstore near L.A., and found a beautiful perfect-copy hardback, Stanley Ellin's The Specialty of the House and Other Stories(1979), for a mere $6! All of his short-stories collected in one volume, including the title one, Stephen... which I'm looking forward to reading....

His style reminds me much of Robert Bloch, so far - always so nice to discover a new old horror writer!
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Craig (Craig)
Username: Craig

Registered: 03-2008
Posted From: 75.5.6.220
Posted on Monday, April 19, 2010 - 06:46 am:   

Brilliant, Stevie: good choice for a top 10! Again, a story where you know just where you're headed, right from the beginning. But Ellis knows you know you're headed there too; and rather than simply avert direction at the last minute or turn the tables or pull the rug, he instead makes the journey savory, down to the very last detail. Lesser hands would have gone the extra step at the end, but the great ones hesitate, and trust the reader implicitly (never easy for a writer to do). And I liked the little "cameo" with Ambrose Bierce!

I'm hooked on this guy Ellis. Always so nice to discover something new in the world, isn't it?...
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Stevie Walsh (Stephenw)
Username: Stephenw

Registered: 03-2009
Posted From: 194.32.31.1
Posted on Tuesday, April 20, 2010 - 04:48 pm:   

That's one book I would dearly love in my collection, Craig!
I always thought TSOTH was an inspired one-off and didn't realise Ellin had written other horror stories. I've seen a few of his crime novels about second hand shops over the years but no short story collections.

Another horror story author from the same period I can't recommend highly enough is John Keir Cross - particularly the nightmarish little tale 'Esmeralda' that does for the "revenge from beyond the grave" theme what TSOTH did for... you know.
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Craig (Craig)
Username: Craig

Registered: 03-2008
Posted From: 75.5.2.255
Posted on Tuesday, April 20, 2010 - 05:18 pm:   

Hey, Stevie, I'll look for Cross then! I'm finding great enjoyment from the tales of horror/suspense from this period (40's-60's)....

I read Ellin's short-story "The Blessington Method," which received an Edgar Award for that year (1956). Again, it's horror, masking as a kind of suspense. Find it, Stevie, I know you'll appreciate it, if you've appreciated that other one ("The Specialty of the House," notable as his first published short-story!)....

A nutshell analysis of Ellin's style now, based on my mere-days-breadth brief sampling so far? Ellin eschews action, and physical descriptions, in favor of dialogue and "abstract" narrative. Not abstract as in difficult to grasp, but abstract as in concerning itself with the working of the mind, the back-and-forth-ing of emotional response, the pangs of relationships, etc. A story of his will contain virtually all "ideas" and dialogue about ideas, or emotions; the cracking of a philosophical nut, say, and its effects upon the abstracted, then the specific, individual. This dialogue/abstract-narrative focus of his stories, makes them unbelievably effortless to read; but also, amazingly capable of super-subtle, and chilling, lingering effect....
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Tony (Tony)
Username: Tony

Registered: 03-2008
Posted From: 81.131.109.189
Posted on Tuesday, April 20, 2010 - 05:35 pm:   

Hey! Sounds like me!
I hope...
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Stevie Walsh (Stephenw)
Username: Stephenw

Registered: 03-2009
Posted From: 194.32.31.1
Posted on Tuesday, April 20, 2010 - 05:41 pm:   

The one story of your's I've read, Tony, was more eerie and enigmatic in style - closer to the work of Robert Aickman I thought.

Stanley Ellin's writing (again judging by one story) is closer to that of a master craftsman, like Ira Levin say, in that he tells a straight horror narrative with every element exactly as you would wish it to be - the end result is intensely satisfying for its very predictability.
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Tony (Tony)
Username: Tony

Registered: 03-2008
Posted From: 81.131.109.189
Posted on Tuesday, April 20, 2010 - 05:47 pm:   

My recent things feel sort of talkie, and my novel felt like a complete trip in the final stages. Great fun to write, psychologically, though it might read very differently. Currently I'm writing a story that seems to be morphing into another frikking novel, one I have not a clue what is about and am not sure I am even enjoying. And yet, it has *something*. :-( It's talkie, there's little action. Has a walking house in it.
That sounds better than it is.
I've just ordered a book by this guy you two are talking about. Sounds good.
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Craig (Craig)
Username: Craig

Registered: 03-2008
Posted From: 75.5.2.255
Posted on Tuesday, April 20, 2010 - 06:02 pm:   

Indeed, Stevie, the "predictability," the knowing (mostly) where you're going - it sounds like a total put-off, like the last thing you want from a story writer. But even given the fact these were written before our currently super-savvy, post-shock-aesthetics world (and hence, forgiving is in order reading him), there's something about Ellin's work that tells me: either he's fully aware already of the reader's powerful mind; or, he's deliberately telegraphing to make clear to the reader, if the reader didn't get it so far, that this is where he's headed. As if to say, "Hey, here's exactly the direction we're both headed in, in this particular short story - and now that that often story-destroying anticipation of climax is out of the way, let me show you the sights, as we go deeper into the world of downward spirals...."

(I read Ellin would take almost a year to fashion a single story in-between his novels - his publication history bears that out, which lists about one story, per year, his entire publication span. The praise heaped upon him by his peers, too, is immense, and speaks volumes for his careful craftsmanship....)
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Stevie Walsh (Stephenw)
Username: Stephenw

Registered: 03-2009
Posted From: 82.17.252.126
Posted on Tuesday, April 20, 2010 - 10:09 pm:   

I'd say another author who fits that mould is T.E.D. Klein... a perfectionist who doesn't half take his time but by heck the end result is worth it!!
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Craig (Craig)
Username: Craig

Registered: 03-2008
Posted From: 75.16.77.191
Posted on Wednesday, April 21, 2010 - 01:47 am:   

And another? That Ellin reminds me of, along with the aptly-nominated Klein? David Morrell. A writer more known for suspense thrillers, but whose shorter work (i.e., from full novels - most of his "shorter" work is novellas/novelettes) is certainly as much horror as mystery - and another writer with a style that is deceptively simple, easy, gripping, and resonating (and who's written too few shorter works, too)....
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Stevie Walsh (Stephenw)
Username: Stephenw

Registered: 03-2009
Posted From: 194.32.31.1
Posted on Wednesday, April 21, 2010 - 10:34 am:   

I've read two early David Morrell novels both of which are classics of their era: 'Testament' (1975) & 'The Totem' (1979). The first is an absolutely cracking paranoid thriller while the second is pure horror at its most visceral and I've always thought both would have made great movies - but then look what Hollywood did to his later career. I lost interest in Morrell after the runaway success of the Rambo franchise... success can be a double-edged sword imo.
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Craig (Craig)
Username: Craig

Registered: 03-2008
Posted From: 75.5.1.18
Posted on Wednesday, April 21, 2010 - 04:02 pm:   

I'm intending to read both TESTAMENT and THE TOTEM sometime - they both sit placidly on the TBR shelf. Do read, Stevie, if you haven't, Morrell's collected shorter stories, BLACK EVENING, one of the best single-author horror stories collections I've yet read. However, even the seeming greats can stumble: I read one of his latest short stories called "The Attitude Adjustor"... wow, was that a stinking piece of excrement. Morrell phoning it in, and badly. Like I always say, everyone's allowed one unforgivable mistake....
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Allybird (Allybird)
Username: Allybird

Registered: 03-2008
Posted From: 80.47.10.8
Posted on Wednesday, April 21, 2010 - 05:00 pm:   

I'm just going to start reading BLACK EVENING and then I'll get it back to you, Craig. Before this the only short story I'd read of his is THEY, first published on American Shorts and reprinted in BEST NEW HORROR 2006.
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Craig (Craig)
Username: Craig

Registered: 03-2008
Posted From: 75.5.4.183
Posted on Wednesday, April 21, 2010 - 05:36 pm:   

Don't need it back, Ally, that was a spare copy I had - it's yours. And I've never read "They" - hey, I have to find that one!

The intro to BLACK EVENING is also great, btw, a small treatise on the craft of writing.

I have to get to your book too Ally - so much to read, so much to read!
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Allybird (Allybird)
Username: Allybird

Registered: 03-2008
Posted From: 80.47.10.8
Posted on Wednesday, April 21, 2010 - 05:53 pm:   

Thanks Craig!

I'm just in the middle of the intro where Morell talks to Klass until dawn about writing...

THEY and the subject matter ...I have this thng about snakes! And no it hasn't anything to do with anything of a sexual nature. At uni I had a female prof who drove us nuts pointing out all phallus imagery in literature or indeed from the window of Salford University :>).
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Joel (Joel)
Username: Joel

Registered: 03-2008
Posted From: 217.37.199.45
Posted on Wednesday, April 21, 2010 - 07:09 pm:   

If only all phalluses were intentional.
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Allybird (Allybird)
Username: Allybird

Registered: 03-2008
Posted From: 80.47.10.8
Posted on Wednesday, April 21, 2010 - 07:19 pm:   

The latest cover that Des just put up...my prof would have said that is phallus related, too :>) Strangeways Tower...phallus...she never mentioned domes.
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Carolinec (Carolinec)
Username: Carolinec

Registered: 06-2009
Posted From: 82.38.75.85
Posted on Wednesday, April 21, 2010 - 07:30 pm:   

>> ... or indeed from the window of Salford University :>). <<

That made me chuckle!

I have this irrational fear of snakes too, Ally. I don't *think* there's any Freudian reasons ... but then you never know. Anyway, I try to avoid snakes at all costs - on TV, in the cinema, at the reptile house.

I even have a bit of a problem with worms but that's probably due to an ex-boyfriend taking me to see the film "Squirm" and then out for a Chinese meal (all those noodles/beansprouts) afterwards!
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Allybird (Allybird)
Username: Allybird

Registered: 03-2008
Posted From: 80.47.10.8
Posted on Wednesday, April 21, 2010 - 07:38 pm:   

That cover belonging to Des with the structure that goes onward and projects three times skyward...she'd have had a field day with that :>)
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Craig (Craig)
Username: Craig

Registered: 03-2008
Posted From: 75.4.231.18
Posted on Saturday, April 24, 2010 - 04:17 pm:   

Not an "It's over" subject, no, but I'm not sure where to put this... at one time I was voicing my skepticism over the very existence of three unassailable subjects - man-made global warming, money itself, and nuclear weapons - well, now I'm beginning to want to add this to the pile:

http://www.hubblesite.org/newscenter/archive/releases/2010/13/full/

Sorry, but that picture is just TOO aesthetically pleasing... it looks like an old sci-fi book cover, or maybe Luke Skywalker and Darth Vader should be posing against it... with the twinkling stars (galaxies?) in the background, the vivid colors... nope, this picture is too, too perfect... reeks of PR, of pretty-picture-y (e.g., thundercloud heads are primal/iconic human figures of awe, going back to our dimmest histories)... of entrenched scientists coming up with cynical-schemes at wooing a wary public, trying to keep the flow of funds coming when a world-wide recession is flaring... follow the money, always follow the money....

How convenient the universe is this awesomely beautiful, and not the hideous black empty void you'd think it might be....
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Craig (Craig)
Username: Craig

Registered: 03-2008
Posted From: 75.4.229.124
Posted on Tuesday, May 04, 2010 - 05:37 am:   

More evidence that it's over... and that, apparently, "there is no witness protection program"....

http://apnews.myway.com//article/20100504/D9FFNV5G0.html
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Stevie Walsh (Stephenw)
Username: Stephenw

Registered: 03-2009
Posted From: 194.32.31.1
Posted on Tuesday, May 04, 2010 - 11:42 am:   

Does this remind anyone else of a scene from one of those paranoid thrillers in which the woman pulled this mad stunt to deliberately get removed from the scene by the police to avoid whoever was really after her... as in 'The Thirty-Nine Steps' or 'North By Northwest' only with desperate, though non-fatal, violence? Interesting... or maybe she was just a fruitcake... or maybe...
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Craig (Craig)
Username: Craig

Registered: 03-2008
Posted From: 75.4.226.159
Posted on Thursday, May 13, 2010 - 04:01 pm:   

Possibly the largest piece of evidence ever that... well... it's over:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-1277734/Jupiter-loses-stripes-sci entists-idea-why.html
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Simon Bestwick (Simon_b)
Username: Simon_b

Registered: 10-2008
Posted From: 86.24.209.217
Posted on Thursday, May 13, 2010 - 10:15 pm:   

Um, if you read the article, you'll see the planet loses and regains a stripe every 10-15 years or so. Nothing apocalyptic about it.

Not that the Daily Mail (or as it's otherwise known, the Daily Wail, the Daily Fail or the Daily Heil) is considered a reliable source of information by anyone not actually deranged...
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Carolinec (Carolinec)
Username: Carolinec

Registered: 06-2009
Posted From: 82.38.75.85
Posted on Friday, May 14, 2010 - 01:00 am:   

Craig, do you think that maybe you're a little obsessed with the end of the world? Chill. It's OK. I don't think we're going to see it in our lifetime.

(thinks: I hope that wasn't a case of famous last words )
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Craig (Craig)
Username: Craig

Registered: 03-2008
Posted From: 75.4.233.150
Posted on Friday, May 14, 2010 - 03:15 am:   

The world IS coming to an end, Caroline... sure, it might be at a very slow rate over so many billions of years, but it IS coming to an end, oh yes it is....
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Carolinec (Carolinec)
Username: Carolinec

Registered: 06-2009
Posted From: 82.38.75.85
Posted on Friday, May 14, 2010 - 12:52 pm:   

Oh yes, I'm quite sure the world as we know it will come to an end eventually (probably due to climate change, but I'd better not go there! ).

Just like the dinosaurs, mammals (including humans), too, will have had their day at some point. My bet is on insects being the next "ruling species" on an Earth which is very different to the one we know today.
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Frank (Frank)
Username: Frank

Registered: 09-2008
Posted From: 85.222.86.72
Posted on Friday, May 14, 2010 - 01:02 pm:   

My hope is that dogs will inherit the earth. No, seriously.
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Zed (Gary_mc)
Username: Gary_mc

Registered: 03-2008
Posted From: 195.166.117.210
Posted on Friday, May 14, 2010 - 01:05 pm:   

Insects already rule the world...you just don't know it yet.
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Frank (Frank)
Username: Frank

Registered: 09-2008
Posted From: 85.222.86.72
Posted on Friday, May 14, 2010 - 01:29 pm:   

Wait until the dogs rise up...and I'm still being serious, as hard as that is to believe.
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Carolinec (Carolinec)
Username: Carolinec

Registered: 06-2009
Posted From: 82.38.75.85
Posted on Friday, May 14, 2010 - 02:58 pm:   

No, Frank, it has to be cats - cats are much better that dogs.

*Caz scarpers before she starts a riot*

Actually, I'm totally serious about my "insect theory". Call me mad (you probably will), but I've believed that for a long time.
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Frank (Frank)
Username: Frank

Registered: 09-2008
Posted From: 85.222.86.72
Posted on Friday, May 14, 2010 - 03:01 pm:   

Caroline - You are kidding, cats? better than dogs...don't be absurd...(; cats come and go as they please, regardless of the charade they play as to humouring us...dogs on the other hand love us, protect us, remain steadfast and loyal to us...with or without a huge bowl of food at hand...
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Carolinec (Carolinec)
Username: Carolinec

Registered: 06-2009
Posted From: 82.38.75.85
Posted on Friday, May 14, 2010 - 03:09 pm:   

It's their independence of thought and personality which makes me love cats, Frank. Dogs just do what you tell them; cats do as they please.

We currently have a senile old cat who's taken to chasing dogs for fun. Bit of a problem, that ...

Actually, cats can be loyal too. Our neighbour's cat, Lynx, is a vicious little bugger who thinks nothing of jumping on my leg and biting/scratching. The other week I was outside keeping an eye on senile Sylvester, when Lynx threatened to attack me. Our senile old cat did his best to protect me, fending Lynx off. Is that not as good as a dog?
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Frank (Frank)
Username: Frank

Registered: 09-2008
Posted From: 85.222.86.72
Posted on Friday, May 14, 2010 - 03:12 pm:   

Dogs don't do as they're told because they have to, but because they listen.

And try telling my youngest dog not to jump in a steaming pile of some others' dog crap...see where that gets you.

And I have a fondness for cats, too. BUT, generally dogs are much more loyal, friendly and caring. A scientist once compared their mental faculties to that of a three year old child. Right or wrong, I believe there's something in that.

And no, I'm not one of those people who believe dogs are substitutes for children (:
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Weber (Weber_gregston)
Username: Weber_gregston

Registered: 03-2008
Posted From: 194.176.105.55
Posted on Friday, May 14, 2010 - 03:25 pm:   

Cats are far better equipped to take over the world. Dogs need people to tell them what to do. Cats don't.

Look at pet owning households - humans own dogs, cats have attendant humans. They're halfway there already.

And when you look at the larger edge of the specieses (what is the plural of species?) which is most dangerous, a wolf or a tiger?

Cats will rule the world long before dogs.
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Weber (Weber_gregston)
Username: Weber_gregston

Registered: 03-2008
Posted From: 194.176.105.55
Posted on Friday, May 14, 2010 - 03:26 pm:   

If dogs have the mental faculties of a three year old, cats have the mental attitude of a teenager...
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Frank (Frank)
Username: Frank

Registered: 09-2008
Posted From: 85.222.86.72
Posted on Friday, May 14, 2010 - 03:27 pm:   

Nonsense. Dogs will eat these m***erf**king cats like a fat a boy with a cheese burger.
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Weber (Weber_gregston)
Username: Weber_gregston

Registered: 03-2008
Posted From: 194.176.105.55
Posted on Friday, May 14, 2010 - 03:32 pm:   

Have you ever seen a dog when a cat uses it's claws properly on it's nose? They run away whimpering like a kicked poodle.

I've seen my cat take on a fully grown fox and the fox ran off with it's tail between it's legs - and my cat ain't a biggun.

Individual dog on cat battles may vary, but cats would win the war. Too intelligent for dogs.
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Frank (Frank)
Username: Frank

Registered: 09-2008
Posted From: 85.222.86.72
Posted on Friday, May 14, 2010 - 03:43 pm:   

Cats may be better killing machines than dogs, but dogs are far smarter. I mean a cat chases a ball of string round the living room without any understanding of the person manipulating the ball of string. My dogs would look at me and say 'what the fuck', if I tried that.

Anyway, everybody knows that dogs can talk. Have you ever heard a cat talk? What? Nope. Thought not.

I rest my case. Done and dusted. Try sidestepping that juggernaut of powerful logic.
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Weber (Weber_gregston)
Username: Weber_gregston

Registered: 03-2008
Posted From: 194.176.105.55
Posted on Friday, May 14, 2010 - 03:49 pm:   

I have long discussions with my cat thank you very much. Just last night we were discussing the relative merits of PR and first past the post.

My cat's opinions are - Miaow, woaow Miaow Miaow purrr.

You can't say fairer than that. (neither can my cat)
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Frank (Frank)
Username: Frank

Registered: 09-2008
Posted From: 85.222.86.72
Posted on Friday, May 14, 2010 - 03:55 pm:   

And, how often do cats get squashed running out into the middle of the road? Often, that's how much.

My dogs were discussing the outcome of an apocalyptic free-for-all if the humans blow themselves into kingdom come. They said, to quote, 'you're 'avin a larf, cats, clever, pull the other one.'

Honestly, that's true.

My juggernaut of logic rumbles on into the night.
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Weber (Weber_gregston)
Username: Weber_gregston

Registered: 03-2008
Posted From: 194.176.105.55
Posted on Friday, May 14, 2010 - 03:59 pm:   

Dogs would starve in an apocolalypse that killed all humans - they'd be too stupid(aka loyal to humans) to eat the fresh meat in front of them. Cats would eat all the people and the dead dogs to live long and productive lives while ruling the world.

Your Juggernaut has just plunged off a cliff into the abyss of defeated arguments.
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Weber (Weber_gregston)
Username: Weber_gregston

Registered: 03-2008
Posted From: 194.176.105.55
Posted on Friday, May 14, 2010 - 04:00 pm:   

Oh and my cat, when it's bored of the ball of string, walks up to me and claws my ankle to tell me to stop it now. He's perfectly waware of whats happening. He's just playing.
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Mick Curtis (Mick)
Username: Mick

Registered: 03-2008
Posted From: 86.178.156.161
Posted on Friday, May 14, 2010 - 04:14 pm:   

It's their independence of thought and personality which makes me love cats, Frank. Dogs just do what you tell them; cats do as they please.

That's pretty much how I feel too!
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Frank (Frank)
Username: Frank

Registered: 09-2008
Posted From: 85.222.86.72
Posted on Friday, May 14, 2010 - 04:18 pm:   

Wrong again. Dogs are but a meal away from reverting back to wolves, to paraphrase someone very clever...cats are one meal away from running round saying: shit, if only I were the size of my African forebears, and oh, shit, anybody seen a large ball of useless string....

Besides, cats are so stupid they need a litter tray, whereas dogs don't....

My juggernaut easily leaps the dwindling mouth of the abyss that was merely an inconvenient hole in the ground...

Oh, I'd like to see a pack of Tammy and Timmy's try it on with a slavering pack of Fido's and Rex's over the putrefying remains of a corpse...

Besides, dogs chase their tails for fun, cats have no idea they have one...and what climbing the bloody curtains...what's all that about...

Try telling a cat to come down...hasn't a clue...doesn't even understand the concept of what 'down' means...
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Weber (Weber_gregston)
Username: Weber_gregston

Registered: 03-2008
Posted From: 194.176.105.55
Posted on Friday, May 14, 2010 - 04:28 pm:   

Climbing the curtains... I would too if I could. Looks like great fun. All you need to do to get then down off the curtain is throw something at them. they understand that easily enough.

Pack of cats versus pack of dogs - easy. The cats would stalk the dogs and pick them off one by one.

And cats use litter trays because they're civilised animals as well as being purebred killing machines. Dogs just crap wherever they happen to be.

The cliff once more appears before the juggernaut which crashes and burns to a cinder in the deepest depths of the abyss.
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Weber (Weber_gregston)
Username: Weber_gregston

Registered: 03-2008
Posted From: 194.176.105.55
Posted on Friday, May 14, 2010 - 04:28 pm:   

I nearly put Abess there instead of Abyss. that would have opened up a whole bad set of images...
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Weber (Weber_gregston)
Username: Weber_gregston

Registered: 03-2008
Posted From: 194.176.105.55
Posted on Friday, May 14, 2010 - 04:35 pm:   

Abbess even
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Weber (Weber_gregston)
Username: Weber_gregston

Registered: 03-2008
Posted From: 194.176.105.55
Posted on Friday, May 14, 2010 - 04:55 pm:   

The juggernaut of logic has been nuked from orbit.

It was the only way to be sure.
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Frank (Frank)
Username: Frank

Registered: 09-2008
Posted From: 85.222.86.72
Posted on Friday, May 14, 2010 - 09:11 pm:   

Weber - my apologies, mate. I just came home from work and discovered my youngest dog, Mr. Mole logged in under my name again, and left you all those contentious messages about cats versus dogs. Rest assured he will be reprimanded.
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Carolinec (Carolinec)
Username: Carolinec

Registered: 06-2009
Posted From: 82.38.75.85
Posted on Friday, May 14, 2010 - 09:22 pm:   


This is the funniest conversation I've seen in ages. Thanks, Frank and Weber - you guys are geniuses.
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Weber (Weber_gregston)
Username: Weber_gregston

Registered: 03-2008
Posted From: 194.176.105.55
Posted on Monday, May 17, 2010 - 06:09 pm:   

I saw a dog last year actually catch it's own tail. It bit down hard and looked very surprised and hurt. It was very funny to watch.

I was discussing this thread with my cat at the weekend and it turns out I was wrong on the Pack of feral cats versus pack of feral dogs tactics.

The cats would simply climb the nearest tree - they're too clever to have this fight in an open field where the advantage would be with the larger animal and will always lead it to something they can climb - and when the dogs beneath go to sleep (as the lazy sods are wont to do), they drop down and claw their eyes out before running quickly up the trees again. The dogs, now blinded and het up with the smell of blood, attack each other and the cats finish off whatever's left standing.

Poor dogs don't stand a chance.
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Frank (Frank)
Username: Frank

Registered: 09-2008
Posted From: 85.222.86.72
Posted on Monday, May 17, 2010 - 07:06 pm:   

Nice little fantasy, far removed from the actual truth.

The dogs would indeed chase the cats up into the trees, but would then, having cornered their little feline pals, would set about the construction of a catapult and swing, complete with an entire phalanx of battle-hardened dogs fresh out of bomb-sniffer dog school, ready to storm the tree with rope ladders, and various home-made explosives.

Only the dogs' compassion might save the cats, after all they have adapted not just to the human environment, but also the human emotional condition. It might be their Achilles Heel, but at least they are aware of who Achilles was. No doubt the most intelligent of cats would think Achilles to be Orlando Bloom, which any self-respecting dog would know was actually Brad Pitt.

Can you hear that? My juggernaut of logic has transformed into a sleek 21st century bullet train of crystalline clarity cutting through the night in search of more feeble offerings.
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Weber (Weber_gregston)
Username: Weber_gregston

Registered: 03-2008
Posted From: 194.176.105.55
Posted on Tuesday, May 18, 2010 - 11:06 am:   

I don't think so. Your dogs have suddenly developed opposable thumbs to operate and build all that machinery. Your bullet train has derailed into a chasm of complete impossibility.
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Craig (Craig)
Username: Craig

Registered: 03-2008
Posted From: 75.4.233.249
Posted on Monday, May 31, 2010 - 01:34 am:   

All I need to know is... was he successfully able to stop the Devil, or wasn't he?...

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/worldnews/article-1282647/American-cage-fighter- rips-beating-heart-training-partner-fearing-possessed-devil.html\
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Craig (Craig)
Username: Craig

Registered: 03-2008
Posted From: 75.4.227.91
Posted on Tuesday, June 01, 2010 - 05:12 am:   

It's not a sinkhole - the Martians are finally escaping....

http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2010/jun/01/storm-agatha-hole-guatemala
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Craig (Craig)
Username: Craig

Registered: 03-2008
Posted From: 75.4.232.47
Posted on Monday, June 07, 2010 - 05:31 pm:   

Global-warming is so yesterday... nowadays, it's all about "severe space-weather events"....

http://science.nasa.gov/science-news/science-at-nasa/2010/04jun_swef/
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Weber (Weber_gregston)
Username: Weber_gregston

Registered: 03-2008
Posted From: 194.176.105.55
Posted on Tuesday, June 22, 2010 - 06:21 pm:   

I don't think so Frank. See i derailed your bullet train
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Frank (Frank)
Username: Frank

Registered: 09-2008
Posted From: 85.222.86.72
Posted on Tuesday, June 22, 2010 - 06:23 pm:   

No, you didn't.

I will return after walking my dogs, who don't really need walking, but I thought I'd give you a headstart in the ammunition stakes.
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Weber (Weber_gregston)
Username: Weber_gregston

Registered: 03-2008
Posted From: 194.176.105.55
Posted on Wednesday, June 23, 2010 - 11:49 am:   

Frank

You state that dogs have the intelligence of a 3 year old child. That puts them at a huge disadvantage to cats, who have the intelligence and attitude of a typical teenager.

Examine the evidence.

Cats are aloof and believe they’re in charge of their houses.

You CAN train a cat to do tricks, but it won’t do them when you want it to, only when it wants to do it.

They only really come to you if they want something.

They’ll shag anything on sight if they get the chance.

They’re dangerous creatures to wake up suddenly.

They only ever lick you to see what you taste like, preparing for the day when you die suddenly at home and they have nothing else to eat until the neighbours notice the smell.

All of these are traits of the typical teenager. In a fight between teenagers and toddlers, I think the teens would take it every time.
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Hubert (Hubert)
Username: Hubert

Registered: 03-2008
Posted From: 78.22.234.38
Posted on Wednesday, June 23, 2010 - 12:26 pm:   

Cats do incredible things sometimes. A friend of mine used to come around with his dog. This was quite a big animal, A Mechlin shepherd, which looks a bit like a German shepherd. Quite intelligent but inherently jumpy and unapproachable brutes unless they know you. As luck would have it I was having a second visitor that day, and the dog reacted to her in a very aggressive way almost from the word go. Just as he was about to attack her, my cat who is otherwise very peaceful, intervened (there is no other word for it) by jumping right in front of the dog and hissing most impressively, claws at the ready and all. The dog was silent after that.
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Kate (Kathleen)
Username: Kathleen

Registered: 09-2009
Posted From: 213.122.209.76
Posted on Wednesday, June 23, 2010 - 12:33 pm:   

Cats are evil.

cross
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Weber (Weber_gregston)
Username: Weber_gregston

Registered: 03-2008
Posted From: 194.176.105.55
Posted on Wednesday, June 23, 2010 - 12:38 pm:   

Another rerason they're like teenagers and will rule the world after the coming apocolypse.
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Weber (Weber_gregston)
Username: Weber_gregston

Registered: 03-2008
Posted From: 194.176.105.55
Posted on Wednesday, June 23, 2010 - 12:38 pm:   

reason
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Frank (Frank)
Username: Frank

Registered: 09-2008
Posted From: 85.222.86.72
Posted on Wednesday, June 23, 2010 - 12:50 pm:   

I thought it was common knowledge that for all of the points you list, and good points they are, that teenagers in fact are reduced by puberty to a level of intelligence far below that of a three year old child.

Which renders your hopeless cause yet more hopeless.

On and on, into the misty night of intrigue rumbles my juggernaut of sleek shiny cleverness, forever discarding half-truths masquerading as pearls of wisdom.

The juggernaut would stop to collect life's world weary travellers, if not for the familiar figure of Marc Lyth thumbing his nose at the blatant juggernaut of searing truth...on it rumbles, pasing him by, leaving him adrfit in its smooth endless streak of pure uncontested brilliance.
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Weber (Weber_gregston)
Username: Weber_gregston

Registered: 03-2008
Posted From: 194.176.105.55
Posted on Wednesday, June 23, 2010 - 01:53 pm:   

"I thought it was common knowledge that for all of the points you list, and good points they are, that teenagers in fact are reduced by puberty to a level of intelligence far below that of a three year old child. "

Except of course on the subjects of shagging and killing where their creativity knows no bounds.

The crispy remains of the juggernaut (it having already plummetted into several abysses and fried) sputters to an untimely halt and disintegrates entirely.
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Frank (Frank)
Username: Frank

Registered: 09-2008
Posted From: 85.222.86.72
Posted on Wednesday, June 23, 2010 - 06:15 pm:   

I believe you have mistaken my juggernaut with your rusty old jalopy.

Why is it that nobody ever puts a sign on their garden gate saying: WARNING: CAT ON THE PREMISES!

It's not as if any potential burglar is going to react: 'Shit, there's a fucking cat on the premises, run for the hills, lads'.

And the oft told ancedotal tale of cats taking on dogs in moments of rare confrontation is a misunderstanding on behalf of both the cat owner and the cat.

What really transpires is that the dog thinks the cat must be out of its mind, that the cat has cat's Alzheimer's, and that it would be most dishonourable and unfair to rip it limb from feeble limb.

Hark, what is that I hear? Yes, it be the blaring triumphant fourteen wheeler careering straight through one more flimsy offering from Mr Marc Lyth, deluded lover of cats.
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Stevie Walsh (Stephenw)
Username: Stephenw

Registered: 03-2009
Posted From: 194.32.31.1
Posted on Thursday, June 24, 2010 - 10:40 am:   

I wouldn't be without either - dogs for their loveable loyalty & cats for their cool independence.
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Frank (Frank)
Username: Frank

Registered: 09-2008
Posted From: 85.222.86.72
Posted on Thursday, June 24, 2010 - 10:45 am:   

True, mate. I've also had cats as pets, as opposed as lunch.

I love cats, but they do not warrant the kind of love and attention that dogs deserve for reciprocating likewise.
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Frank (Frank)
Username: Frank

Registered: 09-2008
Posted From: 85.222.86.72
Posted on Thursday, June 24, 2010 - 10:48 am:   

When a dog does something clever, we say: Good dog, good boy', etc. And the dog wags his/her tail and feels supremely happy.

Whereas a cat would look at you and say: Hey wise-ass, I ain't playing with a ball of string for yer fucking entertainment, I'm programmed that way.

Any compliments thrown a cat's way are met with scorn and seething contempt.
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Weber (Weber_gregston)
Username: Weber_gregston

Registered: 03-2008
Posted From: 212.121.214.11
Posted on Thursday, June 24, 2010 - 01:14 pm:   

"When a dog does something clever, we say: Good dog, good boy', etc"

That's because dogs are so stupid that the clever things they do stand out. Cats are clever by nature, as well as being the ultimate killing machines (although the domestic variety is in miniturised form).

If there was a pack of dogs running round attacking people, you'd have a chance to get away, you hear them coming and you throw a stick, they run after the stick, you get the hell out of there.

if a (whats the collective noun for cats) whatever of cats was prowling and attacking people, you'd be dead. You'd look round and suddenly you're surrounded. then they all leap on you at once with catlike agility and eat your face.
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Stevie Walsh (Stephenw)
Username: Stephenw

Registered: 03-2009
Posted From: 194.32.31.1
Posted on Thursday, June 24, 2010 - 01:24 pm:   

Apparently it's a clowder of cats or a leap of leopards or a streak of tigers or a pride of lions - thanks, Wiki.
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Weber (Weber_gregston)
Username: Weber_gregston

Registered: 03-2008
Posted From: 212.121.214.11
Posted on Thursday, June 24, 2010 - 03:18 pm:   

Or if the cat's are wild, apparently it becomes a DESTRUCTION of cats. Doesn't that tell you how dangerous cats really are? dogs run in a pack - makes them sound as dangerous as a playing card.
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Stevie Walsh (Stephenw)
Username: Stephenw

Registered: 03-2009
Posted From: 194.32.31.1
Posted on Thursday, June 24, 2010 - 03:24 pm:   

Ummm, an alternative is a clutter of cats... appropriate if you've ever seen inside the house of one of those "cat ladies".
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Weber (Weber_gregston)
Username: Weber_gregston

Registered: 03-2008
Posted From: 212.121.214.11
Posted on Thursday, June 24, 2010 - 03:33 pm:   

"Cat ladies" is a more appropriate term than you imagine as they are in fact cats in disguise. They all bundle up together inside those long dresses, leggings and big wild hair and run their own houses. Notice how thay rarely talk and always have excessive facial hair. Look closely enough and you'll see the eyes are feline, break through the self imposed image your own brain will supply for a face for these women and you'll see the whiskers and the pointy ears.

But once you do see through the disguise, don't let on or you'll find yourself surrounded suddenly in a dark alleyway and the cats will eat your face.
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Craig (Craig)
Username: Craig

Registered: 03-2008
Posted From: 75.4.255.30
Posted on Wednesday, July 28, 2010 - 04:33 pm:   

What do they know, that we don't?...

http://www.metro.co.uk/weird/835482-man-hit-by-six-meteorites-is-being-targeted- by-aliens
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Craig (Craig)
Username: Craig

Registered: 03-2008
Posted From: 75.5.12.32
Posted on Wednesday, August 04, 2010 - 02:03 am:   

Alas, by the time you read this, I'm sure it's already too late....

http://www.foxnews.com/scitech/2010/08/03/spectacular-northern-lights-signals-su n-waking/
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Protodroid (Protodroid)
Username: Protodroid

Registered: 03-2008
Posted From: 109.79.95.132
Posted on Wednesday, August 04, 2010 - 10:12 am:   

If Fox News reported that the Sun existed, I'd have to confirm it with another source.
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Simon Bestwick (Simon_b)
Username: Simon_b

Registered: 10-2008
Posted From: 86.24.209.217
Posted on Wednesday, August 04, 2010 - 10:14 am:   

Proto- thank god (the one I don't believe in)- I thought I was the only one who felt that way!
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Skip (Wolfnoma)
Username: Wolfnoma

Registered: 07-2010
Posted From: 216.54.20.98
Posted on Wednesday, August 04, 2010 - 01:35 pm:   

This sounds like a really bad movie plot. Oh, wait it was.
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Craig (Craig)
Username: Craig

Registered: 03-2008
Posted From: 75.5.1.15
Posted on Thursday, August 05, 2010 - 06:47 am:   

William Fox's real name (he was Hungarian) was Vilmos Fried. I suppose, to be more accurate, it should be Fried News.

His mother's family name was actually Fuchs, Americanized to Fox. So, it could also be Fuchs News.
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Craig (Craig)
Username: Craig

Registered: 03-2008
Posted From: 75.4.228.91
Posted on Monday, September 27, 2010 - 07:33 am:   

The lid of it all's being blown wide open, today...

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-1315479/UFOs-deactivated-nuclear- missiles-U-S-airmen-accuse-government-cover-up.html
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Craig (Craig)
Username: Craig

Registered: 03-2008
Posted From: 99.126.164.88
Posted on Tuesday, January 04, 2011 - 06:07 am:   

"And lo, it came to pass that a long lost Lovecraft novella was unearthed, and read aloud to the people, and it started this way...."

http://www.aolnews.com/2011/01/03/first-birds-fall-now-100-000-fish-dead-in-arka nsas/
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Craig (Craig)
Username: Craig

Registered: 03-2008
Posted From: 99.126.164.88
Posted on Tuesday, January 11, 2011 - 05:35 pm:   

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20110110/ap_on_sc/us_sci_space_blob

"The Hubble Space Telescope got its first peek at a mysterious giant green blob in outer space and found that it's strangely alive...."

Yes, you fools - that's because it's AZATHOTH!!!!!!!
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Craig (Craig)
Username: Craig

Registered: 03-2008
Posted From: 99.126.164.88
Posted on Friday, September 16, 2011 - 11:59 pm:   

... So lemme get this straight: my chances of being hit by a falling satellite are really THIS much better than my winning any given lottery?!?

http://www.space.com/12982-dead-nasa-satellite-falling-earth-sept-24.html
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Craig (Craig)
Username: Craig

Registered: 03-2008
Posted From: 99.126.164.88
Posted on Saturday, September 17, 2011 - 12:02 am:   

But don't worry, you can hide from it here:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/09/14/porn-bunker-in-the-valley_n_963330.html
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Craig (Craig)
Username: Craig

Registered: 03-2008
Posted From: 99.126.164.88
Posted on Thursday, March 08, 2012 - 02:30 am:   

We're all headed back to the stone age....

http://news.yahoo.com/solar-storm-headed-toward-earth-may-disrupt-power-16250897 3.html
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Simon Bestwick (Simon_b)
Username: Simon_b

Registered: 10-2008
Posted From: 86.24.166.73
Posted on Thursday, March 08, 2012 - 08:18 am:   

Headed? Have you seen the Republican Presidential candidates? Those fuckers are already there...
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Craig (Craig)
Username: Craig

Registered: 03-2008
Posted From: 99.126.164.88
Posted on Sunday, May 27, 2012 - 06:15 pm:   

The zombie apocalypse has begun....

http://www.miamiherald.com/2012/05/26/2818832/naked-man-shot-killed-on-macarthur .html
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Carolinec (Carolinec)
Username: Carolinec

Registered: 06-2009
Posted From: 92.232.199.129
Posted on Sunday, May 27, 2012 - 07:37 pm:   

Ruddy 'eck, Craig! You get some very strange people over your side of the Pond, don't you?
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Craig (Craig)
Username: Craig

Registered: 03-2008
Posted From: 99.126.164.88
Posted on Sunday, May 27, 2012 - 07:54 pm:   

The higher total world population reaches, Caroline, the more anything you can imagine someone doing, becomes a reality: in a pool of 7 billion, there's going to be every imaginable fringe element....
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Hubert (Hubert)
Username: Hubert

Registered: 03-2008
Posted From: 178.116.61.103
Posted on Sunday, May 27, 2012 - 08:24 pm:   

Poor guy was probably just hungry.
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Craig (Craig)
Username: Craig

Registered: 03-2008
Posted From: 99.126.164.88
Posted on Sunday, May 27, 2012 - 11:41 pm:   

True. And some people prefer dining, face to face....

(God, it's a long weekend here in the States)

Add Your Message Here
Post:
Bold text Italics Underline Create a hyperlink Insert a clipart image

Username: Posting Information:
This is a private posting area. Only registered users and moderators may post messages here.
Password:
Options: Enable HTML code in message
Automatically activate URLs in message
Action:

Topics | Last Day | Last Week | Tree View | Search | Help/Instructions | Program Credits Administration