| Author | Message | ||
     Niki Flynn (Niki) Username: Niki Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 78.32.69.29 |
(This is bound to offend SOMEONE, so don't read on if your sense of humour isn't working today.) 1) Schizophrenia - Do You Hear What I Hear, the Voices, the Voices? 2) Amnesia - I Don't Remember If I'll Be Home for Christmas 3) Narcissistic - Hark the Herald Angels Sing About Me 4) Manic - Deck The Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and Streets and stores and office and town and tars and buses and trucks and trees and fire hydrants and......... .. 5) Multiple Personality Disorder - We Three Queens Disoriented Are 6) Paranoid - Santa Claus Is Coming to Get Us 7) Borderline Personality Disorder - You Better Watch Out, You Better Not Shout, I'm Gonna Cry, and I'll Not Tell You Why 8) Full Personality Disorder - Thoughts of Roasting You On an Open Fire 9) Obsessive Compulsive Disorder - Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells 10) Agoraphobia - I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day But Wouldn't Leave My House 11) Senile Dementia - Walking In a Winter Wonderland Miles from My House in My Slippers and Robe 12) Oppositional Defiant Disorder - I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus So I Burned Down the House 13) Social Anxiety Disorder - Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas While I Sit Here and Hyperventilate 14) Attention Deficit Disorder - We Wish You......Hey Look!! It's Snowing!!! I even made a LOLcat for my favourite:  | ||
| Karim Ghahwagi (Karim) Username: Karim Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 204.104.55.242 |
He-heh | ||
| Hubert (Hubert) Username: Hubert Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 78.21.22.37 |
Wish I could be your Santa Claus, Niki  | ||
| Ramsey Campbell (Ramsey) Username: Ramsey Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 195.93.21.74 |
No offence, Niki! Everyone here is as sane as I am. | ||
| Weber_gregston (Weber_gregston) Username: Weber_gregston Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 212.121.214.11 |
That's possibly the scariest sentense you've ever written...  | ||
| John Llewellyn Probert (John_l_probert) Username: John_l_probert Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 213.253.174.81 |
Oh those are absolutely marvellous. I'm reading them out loud to an assembled throng in the operating theatre while one of my orthopaedic surgeon colleagues whistles Albinoni's Adagio for Strings in the background, so as you can see the spirit of Xmas is being well and truly ridden roughshod over down here. | ||
| Gary Fry (Gary_fry) Username: Gary_fry Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 86.0.112.152 |
They're no funnier than the names of the disorders themselves!  >>>Oppositional Defiant Disorder Hahahaha! Really, sometimes I'm ashamed of my colleagues. | ||
| Niki Flynn (Niki) Username: Niki Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 78.32.69.29 |
We're all mad here.  | ||
| Gary Fry (Gary_fry) Username: Gary_fry Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 86.0.112.152 |
You speak for yourself. I'm as sane as the next man here. The next man is Des, however. | ||
| Niki Flynn (Niki) Username: Niki Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 78.32.69.29 |
Thought it was Ramsey, who CLAIMS to be sane, so we know he's not. Then there's Hubert, who harbours bizarre Santa Claus fantasies (and Santa, we all know, is an anagram of Satan). Then there's Lord P, who hears whistling and imagines throngs of people when he's probably sitting in an empty room. Not sure which corner is the safest... | ||
| Craig (Craig) Username: Craig Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 75.4.244.219 |
Hee-hee. This would be a great horror movie... or a great comedy... or both.... I remember being quite young, pre-horror-aware, and laying awake at night as my siblings, cousins, etc., slept soundly with visions of sugar-plums and such rot dancing in their heads... and I was awake with terror, unable to sleep... because I had this horrible fear that an arriving Santa Claus would pause and peer into that open window yonder, and see me... his Santa eyes boring into me.... A tendency towards things horror, like many psychiactric disorders, must be DNA-ed. | ||
| Allybird (Allybird) Username: Allybird Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 79.70.115.202 |
I like number 14 best. Did you know that it is snowing in Hong Kong and indeed a happy Christmas to all! | ||
| Mark_lynch (Mark_lynch) Username: Mark_lynch Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 212.74.96.200 |
No, but you hum it and I'll play it . . . | ||
| Simon Bestwick (Simon_b) Username: Simon_b Registered: 10-2008 Posted From: 86.24.165.182 |
Niki- pure brilliance! | ||
| Alansjf (Alansjf) Username: Alansjf Registered: 09-2008 Posted From: 94.194.134.45 |
I could be deeply offended by one of those in particular, but I'm too busy laughing. They'd make an good novelty range of Xmas cards - name of condition on the front, punchline inside. | ||
| Weber_gregston (Weber_gregston) Username: Weber_gregston Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 212.121.214.11 |
Even a musical card - when you open it plays the tune... |