| Author | Message | ||
     Niki Flynn (Niki) Username: Niki Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 78.32.69.29 |
OK, so this is possibly the strangest modelling gig I've ever been offered. (And that's saying something!) A photographer wrote to me this morning to say he's compiling a database of dental photos "to be marketed for use by dental professionals worldwide", so he wants lots of pictures of "teeth and smile photos". (Smiles? Why are you writing to ME?) He wants to know what kind of dental work I've had and on what teeth, how many fillings (esp. if they're silver), root canals, crowns, etc. But the weird part is: "Payment will be agreed according to how many useful photos we think we can get." Am I just being paranoid or does that last bit sound slightly sinister? | ||
| Zed (Gary_mc) Username: Gary_mc Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 213.219.8.243 |
Sounds like a man with a dental fetish. | ||
| Hubert (Hubert) Username: Hubert Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 78.22.229.106 |
Reply Guaranteed. | ||
| Steven_pirie (Steven_pirie) Username: Steven_pirie Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 138.253.18.127 |
If he says, "Pop your clothes over there." when you walk in run, Niki, run... :-) | ||
| Gary Fry (Gary_fry) Username: Gary_fry Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 129.11.77.197 |
His pitch lacks polish. | ||
| Hubert (Hubert) Username: Hubert Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 78.22.229.106 |
He's chomping at the bit. | ||
| Simon Bestwick (Simon_b) Username: Simon_b Registered: 10-2008 Posted From: 86.24.165.182 |
But does he know the drill? | ||
| Hubert (Hubert) Username: Hubert Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 78.22.229.106 |
Only if he's looking down in the mouth. | ||
| Gary Fry (Gary_fry) Username: Gary_fry Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 129.11.76.229 |
Before committing yourself, make sure you give his credentials a damned good check-up. | ||
| Joel (Joel) Username: Joel Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 217.37.199.45 |
He could, of course, be genuinely trying to compile a photographic archive of dental work, using professional models because they are used to being photographed. If so, what he says is reasonable. If anything else is going on, we're in Christopher Fowler territory (I mean his fiction, not the man himself). So yes, check this out as thoroughly as you can. | ||
| Gary Fry (Gary_fry) Username: Gary_fry Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 129.11.77.197 |
A thread full of puns and Joel fails to rise to the bait... (I've read that Fowler tale: brilliant.) | ||
| Huw (Huw) Username: Huw Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 218.168.196.80 |
Maybe Joel's new year resolution was to pun less often. Ether that, or, by gum, he just felt too flostered to come up with anything... | ||
| Ramsey Campbell (Ramsey) Username: Ramsey Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 195.93.21.74 |
Flostered? Flossed, do you mean? I thought I'd paste a pun in but it's gone down the tube. I think I'll take a powder, by gum. | ||
| Protodroid (Protodroid) Username: Protodroid Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 160.6.1.47 |
I feel indentured to contribute one too. | ||
| Weber_gregston (Weber_gregston) Username: Weber_gregston Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 212.121.214.11 |
I would but I can't think of anything with enough bite. | ||
| Gary Fry (Gary_fry) Username: Gary_fry Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 129.11.77.198 |
Plenty here for Niki to chew on, at least. | ||
| Joel (Joel) Username: Joel Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 217.37.199.45 |
It's up to you, Niki, how you chews to respond. | ||
| Gary Fry (Gary_fry) Username: Gary_fry Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 129.11.77.198 |
I knew he wouldn't let us down! | ||
| Joel (Joel) Username: Joel Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 217.37.199.45 |
If the guy's ringtone is taken from The Ring of the Nibbleung, start running now. | ||
| Joel (Joel) Username: Joel Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 217.37.199.45 |
Alternatively, you could ask him to prove his good intentions by getting circumcised. Better the token brith than the broken teeth. | ||
| Hubert (Hubert) Username: Hubert Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 78.22.229.106 |
I think this guy is teethering on the brink of madness. | ||
| Gary Fry (Gary_fry) Username: Gary_fry Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 129.11.77.197 |
If he offers you some of that juice at the end of the session, don't swallow. | ||
| Niki Flynn (Niki) Username: Niki Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 78.32.69.29 |
Dear me, I seem to have bitten off more than I can chew here. I suspect he's a fetishist, which of course is fine with me - I just wish he'd be honest about it. Then again, maybe it's all on the level. Either way I'm tempted to send him a certain pic I have of me in a latex corset, my head thrown back, showing plenty of fillings as I howl in pain from - well, something that's going on out of frame. I'd love to see that on the wall of a dentist's office! Better yet - I'd love to see the looks on the faces of his patients.  | ||
| Hubert (Hubert) Username: Hubert Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 78.22.229.106 |
I don't think many dentists have patience with that sort of thing. | ||
| Laird Barron (Laird) Username: Laird Registered: 05-2008 Posted From: 71.212.78.3 |
The tooth will set you free. | ||
| Craig (Craig) Username: Craig Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 75.4.231.208 |
You may have your answer, Niki, if once he's done, he says: "Fine. Now let's shoot some of your cavities...." | ||
| Niki Flynn (Niki) Username: Niki Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 78.32.69.29 |
 | ||
| Karim Ghahwagi (Karim) Username: Karim Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 80.167.124.223 |
Careful, maybe he's bimolar | ||
| Jamie Rosen (Jamie) Username: Jamie Registered: 11-2008 Posted From: 192.26.212.72 |
"Fine. Now let's shoot some of your cavities...." I imagine he'd be more likely to offer to fill some of her cavities... I'll be interested to see how this thread has impacted your decision. Most of the posts show little wisdom. | ||
| Niki Flynn (Niki) Username: Niki Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 78.32.69.29 |
Well, a friend has just told me, "Cavite' Emptor" (groan) and I'm going to write to the photographer to ask if it's a fetish gig. If so, I'll consider it. But the idea of doing something purely clinical leaves me a little... cold? Is that the word?  | ||
| Craig (Craig) Username: Craig Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 75.5.11.106 |
Me, I won't be looking for these pics: I'm not really a teeth fetishist myself. Though, the prospect of seeing your - *ahem* - root canal.... (... where exactly is the "too-far" line here, again?...)  | ||
| Laird Barron (Laird) Username: Laird Registered: 05-2008 Posted From: 71.212.78.3 |
You're on the cuspid of a very important decision.... | ||
| John Llewellyn Probert (John_l_probert) Username: John_l_probert Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 90.203.130.6 |
Right! I think it is only safe to warn you all that since this morning this thread has been under the surveillance of the British Dental Association, who have been suspicious of such individuals advertising for tooth models whom they then drug, kidnap and sell into indentured labour. Stop laughing at the back - I know Proto has already used that pun but I'm trying to bridge the gap between mere punnery and outright silliness to crown what has gone before. Flopsy may be pleased to see you but he's always playing hard to get and while the bazooka is on hand providing Brian hasn't dropped it it's the Big Cheese who will have the final say. Yours having watched too much Monty Python as a kid and too much Jess Franco up to about half an hour ago. I suspect the Pinot Grigio and a current sense of enormous well being may be contributing as well, Lord (of what I have no idea but maybe one day I'll find out) JLP | ||
| Protodroid (Protodroid) Username: Protodroid Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 78.152.201.11 |
Right, stop that. This is getting silly. Now let's have a nice, orderly, informative thread. And none of this nonsense, all right? | ||
| John Llewellyn Probert (John_l_probert) Username: John_l_probert Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 90.203.130.6 |
Anyone got a fetish for Keep Left signs? Form an orderly queue To the left | ||
| Niki Flynn (Niki) Username: Niki Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 78.32.69.29 |
But the line forms on the right, dear... | ||
| John Llewellyn Probert (John_l_probert) Username: John_l_probert Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 194.176.105.47 |
The right deer? As opposed to the left elk? Anne Elk (Ms), naturally | ||
| Steven_pirie (Steven_pirie) Username: Steven_pirie Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 138.253.18.127 |
I was assaulted by a keep left sign when young. I blame it for no one ever asking me to pose for racy dental photos. | ||
| Jamie Rosen (Jamie) Username: Jamie Registered: 11-2008 Posted From: 192.26.212.72 |
Not a single misuse of the word "toothsome." For shame. | ||
| Niki Flynn (Niki) Username: Niki Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 78.32.69.29 |
Now, as then, 'tis simple truth: Sweetest tongue has sharpest tooth. | ||
| Craig (Craig) Username: Craig Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 75.4.230.3 |
Fangs for that. |