| Author | Message | ||
     Niki Flynn (Niki) Username: Niki Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 78.32.69.29 |
I was in the middle of writing an email to a friend when the phone rang. The number was identified as "unavailable", which means spam. I answered and after saying "Hello?" three times, a man said he was from Consumer Research somethingorother. I never speak to phone spammers; I just hang up on them. So I did that. And immediately thought, Damn! I should have said I was the spirit of dark and lonely water and I was too busy drowning kids to talk to him. I told my friend I would do that the next time I got an unsolicited call. Not half an hour later, the phone rang again and this time it was a woman. From the same outfit! I interrupted her and said, "I'm sorry, but I'm the spirit of dark and lonely water and--" She interrupted me with an understanding sigh and said, "Oh, all right." As though that's what everyone says. Is it??? | ||
| Weber_gregston (Weber_gregston) Username: Weber_gregston Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 194.176.105.47 |
There's a hilarious radio call in tape available from somewhere on the interweb where the DJ pretended to be a murder detective investigating the murder of the person the salesman had just called and started interrogating the poor sod about his relationship to the deceased. If you can track it down it's well worth listening to. | ||
| Niki Flynn (Niki) Username: Niki Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 78.32.69.29 |
Oh yes, I know that one. I've been DYING to do that to a telemarketer. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J5z4Vs26-TI | ||
| Weber_gregston (Weber_gregston) Username: Weber_gregston Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 194.176.105.47 |
I did once ask a telemarketer if he was a religious person and started on a church of the Latterday saints spiel down the phone at him. He hung up very quickly. | ||
| Ramsey Campbell (Ramsey) Username: Ramsey Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 195.93.21.74 |
I do my best to sell them one of my books - no luck, but it does get rid of the caller. | ||
| Gary Fry (Gary_fry) Username: Gary_fry Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 82.20.31.211 |
I did that the last time, and the caller said he "doesn't have time to read", to which I replied, "Well, I don't have time to listen to you" and then hung up. Petty moments please petty minds.  | ||
| John Llewellyn Probert (John_l_probert) Username: John_l_probert Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 90.203.130.192 |
I hope you were both gripping your handbags like real men | ||
| Joel (Joel) Username: Joel Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 217.37.199.45 |
You can't grip a handbag the way you'd grip a real man. Well... depends what it contains I suppose. | ||
| Mark_lynch (Mark_lynch) Username: Mark_lynch Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 80.225.223.183 |
Aw, I'm more considerate. They're doing a crappy job for crappy money. I think Carl Hiaasen had a novel with a telemarketer as a major character, didn't he? NATURE GIRL? Next call I'll get, I'll try sell the caller one of Ramsey's books, see what happens. If that doesn't work, I'll try sell one of Gary's . . . | ||
| Zed (Gary_mc) Username: Gary_mc Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 81.96.241.143 |
I usually tell them I'm going to rape and/or kill them. In a husky whisper. If you ask for their address and telephone number they hang up immediately, btw. They know what they're doing is borderline legal, so panic when you ask for these details. especially when you tell them you want to lettbomb them. | ||
| Zed (Gary_mc) Username: Gary_mc Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 81.96.241.143 |
letterbomb, even... | ||
| Weber_gregston (Weber_gregston) Username: Weber_gregston Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 194.176.105.47 |
The telemarketer in Nature girl is a complete idiot. He's the nominal villain of the piece. The eponymous character tricks him out into the wilderness to show him the error of his ways. Good book | ||
| Weber_gregston (Weber_gregston) Username: Weber_gregston Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 194.176.105.47 |
Hiaasen does seem to be constantly rewriting the same book these days and putting it out with another title. Even his childrens books are the same story as his adult books just without the sex. Having said that, I did get excited when I read that Skink will be back in his next adult book. | ||
| Gary Fry (Gary_fry) Username: Gary_fry Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 82.20.31.211 |
>>>Aw, I'm more considerate. They're doing a crappy job for crappy money. That's true, of course. Then again, they're probably earning more from that than I do from publishing. I'm just taking the opportunity. At least I didn't cold-call them. Seriously, I'm most resentful when they call in the evening or at weekends. That's when I start messing around. Last thing you need after a day's/week's work is someone trying to sell you crap you don't need or even want. | ||
| Zed (Gary_mc) Username: Gary_mc Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 213.219.8.243 |
Aw, I'm more considerate. They're doing a crappy job for crappy money That doesn't give them the right to make rude and annoying unsolicited calls, and to buy my telephone number illegally from a third party. | ||
| Weber_gregston (Weber_gregston) Username: Weber_gregston Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 194.176.105.47 |
They did after all apply for and be interviewed for that crappy job. Even in the shitstorm that is the uk job market today, I had my standards. | ||
| Gary Fry (Gary_fry) Username: Gary_fry Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 82.20.31.211 |
Yes, that's true, too. | ||
| Gary Fry (Gary_fry) Username: Gary_fry Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 82.20.31.211 |
My response was to Zed's. | ||
| Mick Curtis (Mick) Username: Mick Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 86.159.155.179 |
I registered my 'phone number with that Telephone Preference Service "no cold calling" thingy a couple of years back:- http://www.tpsonline.org.uk/tps/ and I've had none of these calls whatsoever since then. | ||
| Weber_gregston (Weber_gregston) Username: Weber_gregston Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 194.176.105.47 |
"My response was to Zed's." Obviously my comments are just not worth reading or replying to. ***goes off in a huff*** | ||
| Zed (Gary_mc) Username: Gary_mc Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 213.219.8.243 |
Mick - I register my numbers there once every few years. It stops for a while, but then you get the calls again - in our case, we had our details stolen from the Family Credit people and sold to these companies. It happened twice, actually. Hence my militant stance on this issue. :-) | ||
| Gary Fry (Gary_fry) Username: Gary_fry Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 82.20.31.211 |
Weber: ........................................................................... | ||
| Weber_gregston (Weber_gregston) Username: Weber_gregston Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 194.176.105.47 |
is that an apology in morse code? :-) | ||
| Gary Fry (Gary_fry) Username: Gary_fry Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 82.20.31.211 |
No, it's a Cat-scan read-out of your brain activity. | ||
| Weber_gregston (Weber_gregston) Username: Weber_gregston Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 194.176.105.47 |
too much going on there for that. | ||
| Weber_gregston (Weber_gregston) Username: Weber_gregston Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 194.176.105.47 |
check yer email mr Fry | ||
| Niki Flynn (Niki) Username: Niki Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 78.32.69.29 |
I thought I WAS registered with the No Bloody Unsolicited Calls service, but it doesn't seem to be working. But I just intend to have fun with them from now on. Maybe I'll pretend they've reached a phone sex operator and chat to them for 5 minutes before telling them they owe me £200. | ||
| Weber_gregston (Weber_gregston) Username: Weber_gregston Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 194.176.105.47 |
Sounds like a good idea that. I might try it myself. |