| Author | Message | ||
     Albie (Albie) Username: Albie Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 195.195.236.131 |
http://my.opera.com/Albie/blog/2008/04/18/the-move It's only 2 pages. Pleeeeease. | ||
| Mick Curtis (Mick) Username: Mick Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 86.159.156.247 |
That's excellent, Albie - I love the fact that my expectations about the way things were going to turn out were turned on their heads - a nice little tale. | ||
| Albie (Albie) Username: Albie Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 195.195.236.131 |
Thanks! | ||
| Zed (Gary_mc) Username: Gary_mc Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 213.219.8.243 |
Superb, Albie. The ending gave me a genuine sense of shuddery weirdness. Your style has really improved: the matter-of-fact narrative adds to the effect when the oddness occurs. Great stuff. | ||
| Zed (Gary_mc) Username: Gary_mc Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 213.219.8.243 |
Albie, your "fast facts" are great: http://my.opera.com/Albie/about/ "Wale fear"...:-) | ||
| Huw (Huw) Username: Huw Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 218.168.197.237 |
Good stuff, Albie. Those scrawny suitcase legs are bound to come up in my dreams tonight... | ||
| John_l_probert (John_l_probert) Username: John_l_probert Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 90.208.214.10 |
Very good. I can honestly say I didn't see that ending coming, and as Zed so aptly put it- it gives you a feeling of shuddery weirdness that's hard to shake off. Good stuff Mr Albie. | ||
| Hubert (Hubert) Username: Hubert Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 78.22.236.211 |
Nice story, Albie. Tingles the imagination. | ||
| Allybird (Allybird) Username: Allybird Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 79.70.36.82 |
Certainly - and enjoyed the story. Liked the way it was written and yes, the legs from the suitcase are certainly something to haunt your nightmares. I'll remember that image Albie! | ||
| Gary Fry (Gary_fry) Username: Gary_fry Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 86.24.122.40 |
Creepy tale, sir. I liked the way you implied the untrustworthiness of the couple by referring to them simply by their formal surnames. Even if I didn't know you, I'd suspect something was amiss. Some nice imagery throughout - the plants "boiling" over the wall. I liked it a lot. | ||
| Gary Fry (Gary_fry) Username: Gary_fry Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 86.24.122.40 |
>>>Last book read: Playboy; The Psoriasis Issue Ha! | ||
| Ramsey Campbell (Ramsey) Username: Ramsey Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 195.93.21.100 |
Gum! That's pretty nightmarish, I must say! | ||
| Weber_gregston (Weber_gregston) Username: Weber_gregston Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 83.98.9.4 |
me like | ||
| Craig (Craig) Username: Craig Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 75.4.238.76 |
Sorry Albie, I can't access your site for some reason... my loss, I guess....  | ||
| Matt_cowan (Matt_cowan) Username: Matt_cowan Registered: 04-2008 Posted From: 68.249.106.58 |
I can't seem to access it either. I'll try it again later. I'm intrigued about the 'scrawny suitcase legs' thing.  | ||
| Mark_lynch (Mark_lynch) Username: Mark_lynch Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 212.74.96.200 |
Albs, I'll say it again: I think you're the UK's Arthur Bradford at your best. But shorter. Probably. | ||
| Matt_cowan (Matt_cowan) Username: Matt_cowan Registered: 04-2008 Posted From: 68.249.106.58 |
I was able to get to the site this time and I enjoyed your story. Thanks for sharing it. | ||
| Craig (Craig) Username: Craig Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 75.17.161.181 |
I was able to get through now too.... Excellent work, Albie! A disturbing close to that. Hope it finds print somewhere.... | ||
| Karim Ghahwagi (Karim) Username: Karim Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 83.93.30.31 |
Good story Albs! Creepy ending indeed! | ||
| Albie (Albie) Username: Albie Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 195.195.236.131 |
Aw, Thanks. I'm all embarrassed now. My head is an itchy red globe. "Gum! That's pretty nightmarish, I must say!" That's going on my CV in the reference section. Did the legs work then? I wanted to make them as indicative as possible, without being too specific. ARRGH! this weird fiction thing is so hard! I wonder what was in the suitcase. I see all manner of horrors. Funnily, I got the idea for the plot when I was reading one of those Tony Parson-esque type stories; the ones I've been trying to get my head around. It was about a couple being shown around a house too, but this other story popped in before I could finish the first page of it. I adopted the same simple style of the story too. Thanks again. | ||
| Gary Fry (Gary_fry) Username: Gary_fry Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 86.24.122.40 |
You finish that Aickmanesque tale, Albs? | ||
| Albie (Albie) Username: Albie Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 195.195.236.131 |
Nah. I've been starting stories and not finishing them. The above was done in one sitting. Seems to be the only way now. | ||
| Albie (Albie) Username: Albie Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 195.195.236.131 |
But then it did pop in to my head complete so the end was nigh. | ||
| Grant (Grant) Username: Grant Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 131.156.226.96 |
Nice Story. Do you still write Bizarro Albie? | ||
| Albie (Albie) Username: Albie Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 195.195.236.131 |
I do. But I find it to only really work on me, as I'm writing it. An audience of one. This one... http://my.opera.com/Albie/blog/show.dml/1818816 ...is more bizarro. (You're not obliged to read it) Having said that my three published stories were written for Bizarro. How did you know about Bizarro? Are you a Bizarro too? You forgot the secret handshake! Now they all know! Burn the servers! Shoot the middle men! Cancel the elephant! | ||
| Grant (Grant) Username: Grant Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 131.156.226.96 |
I like it. Thieves Journal sent a rejection and also told me to read one of your stories over there which was good. Yes I am Bizarro-part time. Didn't discover it until lately. Yes we know but we where imflammable bodies that will be discarded eventually. The peanuts have been dropped. | ||
| Albie (Albie) Username: Albie Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 195.195.236.131 |
Do you mean Thieves Jargon? They recommended me? I did have a short story up there. This is probably because they usually don't host weird stuff, so they only had my story (i use the word "story" loosely) to reference. Have you had anything bizarro get past an editor? The trick is to just use all the horror conventions but add more confusion. It's all trickery. I need to go and stick my knob in a wig. | ||
| Grant (Grant) Username: Grant Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 131.156.226.96 |
Yeah. Thieves Jargon.They recommended you and another weird story. They've published D.Harlan Wilson who writes bizarro. I had some weird stuff get past a few editors.Polluto is one of them. It's a new mag/antho you should check out. You should try sending something over to the Dream People and Bust down the doors and eat all the chickens. I didn't know the trick,good to know. | ||
| Michael_kelly (Michael_kelly) Username: Michael_kelly Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 207.188.88.80 |
Good show, Albie. You've an odd, dispassionate (but in a good way) voice. Who else has something online? Perhaps we could start a thread for some of our online work? Thoughts? | ||
| Albie (Albie) Username: Albie Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 195.195.236.131 |
"I didn't know the trick,good to know." Pah. You knew.  In fact, I just made it up. It was either that one or the one about having a primary colour dominate the text. Stuff like that sticks in the mind. And I only just this minute made that up too. I had something on Dream People. hah! Not to sound like I'm cleaning my balls with my ears, but they said it was one of the weirdest stories they'd read. Basically it was an Only Fools and Horses whack job. I know Wilson and the guys behind Eat All the Chickens. I used to be a member of the now dead New Absurdist site. Lost a few stories on their defunct website. Kevin Donihe published all my three stories in print in Bare Bones. He was a regular New Absurdist. Mmm, polluto sounds like I need to get my hunting hat out of the airing cupboard. | ||
| Albie (Albie) Username: Albie Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 195.195.236.131 |
Thanks Michael. Dispassionate? Surely not. In fact I may have to write a sequel to the story and kill off the suitcase man. I'm worried about all those kids!  Yeah, come on guys. Sharing your fiction, good or bad, was a staple of this group. I demand to read something. | ||
| Simon Strantzas (Nomis) Username: Nomis Registered: 05-2008 Posted From: 38.113.181.169 |
Albie, I forgot to mention I read this piece and thought it was great. I'm very keen on nightmarish fiction — where strange and surreal things happen for reasons that seem arbitrary and random, but have the impression of not really being so. (that's a horrible explanation, btw) | ||
| Albie (Albie) Username: Albie Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 195.195.236.131 |
Thanks for reading. I like that kind of fiction too. | ||
| Weber_gregston (Weber_gregston) Username: Weber_gregston Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 83.98.9.4 |
http://efilsgod.piczo.com/?g=49921989&cr=5 Please, my turn now. This story's about 2500 words and I like it. Please read it | ||
| Weber_gregston (Weber_gregston) Username: Weber_gregston Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 83.98.9.4 |
Pleeeeeeaase | ||
| Michael_kelly (Michael_kelly) Username: Michael_kelly Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 207.188.67.254 |
Weber, You might want to post this in the thread we had going: RCMB Online Fiction. Unless, of course, that wasn't fiction. (Insert evil laugh). | ||
| Albie (Albie) Username: Albie Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 195.195.236.131 |
I thought it a good read, Weber. Well written. Easy on the brain. If I were to soup it up, I would at least hint at some reason why he returns, so to speak. Even if the hint is purely to add a sense of confusion. That's enough. | ||
| Weber_gregston (Weber_gregston) Username: Weber_gregston Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 83.98.9.4 |
The original title was "Love never dies". I'm not sure if that counts as an explanation or not. I might retitle it again but I'm 99% happy with the text as it stands (at the moment - next week I'll probably decide I hate it). | ||
| Adriana (Adriana) Username: Adriana Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 99.230.239.233 |
Sorry, I've been away - just read your tale, Albie. Awesome. I won't reiterate what everyone has already said, so I'll just say that I really liked it. It felt very tight. Which made it all the more potent. And it's amazing how little lines like: "Mrs Marks's high heels echoed in another part of the house." are so evocative... It's simple. Subtle. But there's an expansiveness to the feeling of unease.... marvelous. | ||
| Adriana (Adriana) Username: Adriana Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 99.230.239.233 |
Strange timing to have read that tale, Weber. I liked the way how creepy he was unfolded - that first mention of already knowing where she lived (but remembering to ask for directions) was lovely. | ||
| Weber_gregston (Weber_gregston) Username: Weber_gregston Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 83.98.9.4 |
Ta for the comments lads (and lass). I wasn't sure what reaction it would get, subtlety ain't a strong point in my writing (although I'm getting quite good at the old gradual reveal) and most peeps here seem to like the subtle approach so i am most honoured that (so far) all the feedback has been positive. This story is basically a kind of homage to the old EC comics/creepshow kind of thing. In fact, one line that was cut out revealed poor old Eric's last name is Crossley - giving him the initials EC. Anyone know where her name - Maria samuels - came from? 10 points to the first person to guess correctly. | ||
| Albie (Albie) Username: Albie Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 195.195.236.131 |
Thanks. Adriana. I like empty houses. Getting out of that suitcase was hard though. My legs were so stiff. | ||
| Laird Barron (Laird) Username: Laird Registered: 05-2008 Posted From: 71.212.78.124 |
Albie: The emerging legs...brrr! | ||
| Albie (Albie) Username: Albie Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 195.195.236.131 |
HAHA! I love the legs. Thanks for reading. | ||
| John (John) Username: John Registered: 05-2008 Posted From: 82.24.4.67 |
Ah, I enjoyed that. A strong closing flourish which continues to run around the inside of my head (on a pair of spindly legs). Has anyone ever considered adding a 'read my story' section to the discussions options on the front page of the forum? | ||
| Albie (Albie) Username: Albie Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 195.195.236.131 |
You have taste, John. Spindly taste. Spindly windly...Mork and Mindly taste. And yes, we haven't considered that. |