| Author | Message | ||
     John Llewellyn Probert (John_l_probert) Username: John_l_probert Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 88.202.210.68 |
Having just spent the day procuring a black Christmas tree and black decorations so that Lady P and I can celebrate our first Christmas together in style, and having seen that another Christmas thread has already been started but is essentially gift orientated, I thought that our RCMB chums out there might like to know how we are planning to enjoy the festive season film-wise at Probert Towers. First we need something seasonal, so the Spanish horror 'The Christmas Tale' is a must as nothing says Christmas more than a demented female serial killer in a Santa Claus suit terrorising children in an abandoned fairground to Baccara's 'Yes Sir I Can Boogie' And mentioning the little ones, Xmas really is all about them so we'll definitely be watching a movie I’ve wanted to see for years - Narciso Ibanez Serrador's 1975 Spanish horror 'Would You Kill A Child?'. A slasher movie is of course essential and while something sleazy like 'Don't Open Till Christmas' might seem appropriate Bob Clark's 'Black Christmas' is always going to be the more satisfying option. 'Goodwill to all' will be celebrated with a screening of 'Martyrs' and the giving of gifts will be represented by Lamberto Bava's 'BodyPuzzle' where various bits of people are despatched through the post. Finally, everyone knows that Christmas is the time for ghosts and so a trip to the theatre to see Henrik Ibsen's play 'Ghosts' about the horrors of syphilis will remind us all that Christmas is a time to enjoy oneself, but not that much. Merry Christmas everyone! | ||
| Paul_finch (Paul_finch) Username: Paul_finch Registered: 11-2009 Posted From: 195.93.21.74 |
And to think ... for years I've said to myself, if I ever again have to look up from the operating theatre table, I hope to see JLP behind the mask!!! | ||
| Richard_gavin (Richard_gavin) Username: Richard_gavin Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 69.157.31.195 |
JLP: Have I told you lately that I love you? Your post filled my heart to the brim with Christmas spirit.  | ||
| Craig (Craig) Username: Craig Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 75.16.76.38 |
Hey J-LiP - tangent, but you've reminded me - I see that Umberto Lenzi's 1972 giallo KNIFE OF ICE was just released to DVD - have you seen it/reviewed it? Any good? | ||
| Ian Alexander Martin (Iam) Username: Iam Registered: 10-2009 Posted From: 64.180.64.74 |
If one ever finds oneself at a loss for something to do during the great rolling of the year, surely the best place to enjoy oneself is Probert Towers. Yea, though the plebeians have their holly and what they think is mistletoe but in fact some crap bit of pruning detritus, the good JLP and his Lady have taste coming out of their arseholes. Sorry, I couldn't keep up the class description for too long. Our Christmas here on the balmy West Coast of Canada involves a large amount of Spruce, Fir, and the annual reading aloud of Dickens's A Christmas Carol (switched to his edited public reading text last year and saved bloody hours as a result), egg nog, and a roaring fire (in the fireplace, as it's more successful that way). By the way, when did Mr. Probert acquire the 'gangster tag' of J-LiP? More to the point, why? | ||
| Kate (Kathleen) Username: Kathleen Registered: 09-2009 Posted From: 93.96.181.75 |
I considered beheading and bloodying a Christmas angel to put on top of the tree, but I've opted instead for a hand of glory. Now, if I could just figure out where to buy finger bone fairy lights... | ||
| Alexicon (Alexicon) Username: Alexicon Registered: 10-2009 Posted From: 88.106.127.76 |
Now, Ian - "...the good JLP and his Lady have taste coming out of their..." - THAT is naughty. | ||
| Karim Ghahwagi (Karim) Username: Karim Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 80.196.50.102 |
A stellar Christmas season at Probert Towers. | ||
| Ian Alexander Martin (Iam) Username: Iam Registered: 10-2009 Posted From: 64.180.64.74 |
My suggestion of anally-sourced taste was to bring to mind the notion that they have more taste than they know what to do with. Nothing of what the product of their back-passage might suggest to the palate was intended. …although JLP does have quite a cute back-side. | ||
| John Llewellyn Probert (John_l_probert) Username: John_l_probert Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 88.202.210.68 |
Mr Martin - calm yourself! While everybody has one Christmas is not necessarily a time for paying special attention to that part of the body! Now - suggestions for what we should have atop our black Christmas tree with black decorations, please! | ||
| Kate (Kathleen) Username: Kathleen Registered: 09-2009 Posted From: 93.96.181.75 |
Ahem. Lord P, I did say upthread that I had already got a Christmas tree topper. Or were you too flirting with Ian to notice? | ||
| John Llewellyn Probert (John_l_probert) Username: John_l_probert Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 213.253.174.81 |
I had seen that, oh my Lady, but I was so keen to see the back of, and indeed put an end to, the anal shenanigans on this thread that it seemed the best way out. And now back to Xmas games. Kids - can you spot at least three double entendres in that last sentence? | ||
| Kate (Kathleen) Username: Kathleen Registered: 09-2009 Posted From: 93.96.181.75 |
 | ||
| Ian Alexander Martin (Iam) Username: Iam Registered: 10-2009 Posted From: 64.180.64.74 |
Three double entendres would make six jokes, wouldn't it? Or are you applying a factorial calculation, thereby meaning 62, ergo 36 jokes? Please try and be more specific, as the attractive quality of the back of your lap isn't enough to distract me from you laying down on the job of blowing me away. Meanwhile, I would suggest a golliwog on the top of your tree with it's black decorations. the alternative would be some kind of space-borne Zombie Beast from that movie I keep forgetting the name of which starred Tobe Cooper and what's-his-name who plays the Head of MI5 in Spooks now. So… there you are. A vague suggestion for a vague holiday. And, as you pointed out, everyone does have a 'rear outlet', when is the correct time of the year to pay attention to it? And how did you get the 'Street Name' "J-LiP"? | ||
| John Llewellyn Probert (John_l_probert) Username: John_l_probert Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 88.202.210.68 |
Dear Mr Martin Addressing your comments in true Miss World fashion in reverse order: 1 I believe the name 'J-LiP' is probably a typing error but I am sure Craig will step in with a thermonuclear device and possibly an articulated lorry flying through the air and exploding just next to some bikini clad beauties if I'm wrong. 2 The correct time of year to pay attention to that part of the body, as everyone knows, is Valentine's Day - but only if you're on your own. 3 The movie to which you are referring is of course LIFEFORCE, which I love, as do several other members of this board. 4 The top of the tree will be adorned either with Lady P's suggestion or by my newest acquisition - a tiny knitted grim reaper complete with scythe. 5 The double entendre machine is broken at the moment. JLP | ||
| Weber_gregston (Weber_gregston) Username: Weber_gregston Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 194.176.105.56 |
The best thing about double entendres is they only mean one thing... | ||
| Kate (Kathleen) Username: Kathleen Registered: 09-2009 Posted From: 93.96.181.75 |
You can't have it both ways.  | ||
| Weber_gregston (Weber_gregston) Username: Weber_gregston Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 194.176.105.56 |
Fnarr fnarr! If ever there was a phrase we needed an emoticon for... | ||
| Craig (Craig) Username: Craig Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 75.4.251.150 |
I keep reading the sig JLP as J-LiP, so me figured I'd just phoneticize it/you. Cue: exploding lorries and bikini-babes. "Here I go...." (? - been too long since I seen that particularly disturbing, actually, film) | ||
| Stephen Walsh (Stephenw) Username: Stephenw Registered: 03-2009 Posted From: 194.32.31.1 |
I especially love the first half of 'Lifeforce'. She could suck me dry anytime! | ||
| Carolinec (Carolinec) Username: Carolinec Registered: 06-2009 Posted From: 82.38.75.85 |
Going back to Christmas tree decorations (hey, it's not like me to get a thread back ON topic  ) I always think the traditional top-of-the-tree decoration is best. Impale a fairy with the spikey bits, and leave her hanging there to deter any of her pesky little friends coming round trying to sprinkle fairy dust all over your carpet too.  | ||
| Ian Alexander Martin (Iam) Username: Iam Registered: 10-2009 Posted From: 64.180.64.74 |
I like the idea of a knitted grim reaper. It'll go so well with the knitted DALEK you got in the BFS raffle a few years ago.  I understand the appeal of Lifeforce, in that it is so unashamedly bad, plus the large amount of flesh being exposed (never a bad thing). Still, it would never be accused of being too arty, would it? There are a few choice bits of script, and over-all a good premise, but… erm… perhaps I've not seen enough Hammer Films to really put it into its proper context. Meanwhile… the answers to #1 and #2 make me sorry I asked. Which was probably the intent of our own 'getting jiggy wit' it' J-LiP. | ||
| Carolinec (Carolinec) Username: Carolinec Registered: 06-2009 Posted From: 82.38.75.85 |
Lord P - it was YOU who won the knitted dalek! As a Doc Who fan, I'm so jealous ...  | ||
| Gcw (Gcw) Username: Gcw Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 81.155.105.158 |
Please remove that picture - Lord P is NOT dressed. He is not wearing a tie, I can't think of Lord P not dressed. Dear me. gcw.. | ||
| Steve Bacon (Stevebacon) Username: Stevebacon Registered: 09-2008 Posted From: 90.210.209.184 |
Gary, he IS dressed. Look again at the picture - it's just his knitted Dalek. | ||
| Gcw (Gcw) Username: Gcw Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 81.155.105.158 |
See what your saying ...It could be interpreted as a nice kipper tie.... gcw | ||
| John Llewellyn Probert (John_l_probert) Username: John_l_probert Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 88.202.210.68 |
I must admit I think that is the least flattering photograph of me that is publicly available. GCW is quite right - it should be removed. All I can say is it was very late on the Saturday night of FantasyCon a couple of years ago. There are female acquaintances of mine who would be shocked to see me attired thus. All I can say is that thanks to the fine influence of my dear Lady P such an inappropriate state of dress will never occur again. | ||
| Kate (Kathleen) Username: Kathleen Registered: 09-2009 Posted From: 93.96.181.75 |
I'm glad someone else pointed it out first. I was shocked, SHOCKED, I tell you, to see the great Herr Doktor Baron von Probertstein tie-less. I may never recover. I am, however, grateful that the dalek seems to be obscuring the giant zodiac medallion. | ||
| Carolinec (Carolinec) Username: Carolinec Registered: 06-2009 Posted From: 82.38.75.85 |
I only have eyes for the dalek, so I hadn't noticed Lord P's state of undress. | ||
| Ian Alexander Martin (Iam) Username: Iam Registered: 10-2009 Posted From: 64.180.64.74 |
Apparently the Dalek has its own web-site, or so it was announced by Stephen Jones whilst looking through the documentation during the raffle. No idea if there's images of the Dalek wearing medallions there, though. The image was supplied by the subject of the photo, and I thank Dalek Khan for letting me have a copy. | ||
| Kate (Kathleen) Username: Kathleen Registered: 09-2009 Posted From: 93.96.181.75 |
I must admit I think that is the least flattering photograph of me that is publicly available. Well, perhaps posting one of the MOST flattering will help to offset that act of Dalek evil...  | ||
| Ian Alexander Martin (Iam) Username: Iam Registered: 10-2009 Posted From: 64.180.64.74 |
Kate! How dare you suggest that a picture of the man being declared dead be the most flattering! Shame on you! Shame! …especially when this version shows things straighter and with better colour… [cough]  | ||
| Carolinec (Carolinec) Username: Carolinec Registered: 06-2009 Posted From: 82.38.75.85 |
Ian - do you have a whole photo album full of photos of Lord P? I'm beginning to suspect there's something going on here ... *wicked chuckle* | ||
| John Llewellyn Probert (John_l_probert) Username: John_l_probert Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 213.253.174.81 |
I'm beginning to wonder that myself. Anyway - good to this Xmas-themed thread still going! I still haven't mentioned any of the Christmas music we'll be playing which will include: PROFONDO ROSSO Giorgio Gaslini's children's rhyme (because Xmas is For The Little 'Uns) rather than the Goblin score FEARLESS VAMPIRE KILLERS: Komeda's howling chorus always reminds me of snow-bound castles and the Long Evenings...of Many Winters HANDS OF THE RIPPER: Another Christmas favourite of mine. Christopher Gunning's theme is lovely although I'd better take down the regimental swords before kissing Lady P in her blue velvet cape. CREEPSHOW: Because the best Christmas Eves are | ||
| Weber_gregston (Weber_gregston) Username: Weber_gregston Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 194.176.105.56 |
Ian - do you have a whole photo album full of photos of Lord P? i thought everyone did... Is it not normal behaviour?   | ||
| Carolinec (Carolinec) Username: Carolinec Registered: 06-2009 Posted From: 82.38.75.85 |
>>.. do you have a whole photo album full of photos of Lord P? i thought everyone did... Is it not normal behaviour? << Not really, Weber - well, not unless you're in a long-term relationship with him (or stalking him!). | ||
| Kate (Kathleen) Username: Kathleen Registered: 09-2009 Posted From: 88.202.210.68 |
Or blackmailing him...  | ||
| Ramsey Campbell (Ramsey) Username: Ramsey Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 195.93.21.74 |
Which portion of him has dropped off to lie in the bottom left-hand corner? Can it be replaced? | ||
| Gcw (Gcw) Username: Gcw Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 81.155.105.158 |
Superb! Those vaguely perturbed downcast eyes... gcw | ||
| Mick Curtis (Mick) Username: Mick Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 86.176.126.207 |
I bet that's Lord P.'s flashing jacket - he has the look of a man who has clothes for every occasion! |