| Author | Message | ||
     Tony (Tony) Username: Tony Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 86.145.131.242 |
Honest; this is hilarious. Read to the bottom. http://www10.epinions.com/content_308312051332 (with thanks to Proto for this one) | ||
| Huw (Huw) Username: Huw Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 61.216.36.215 |
It's sad, but there really are people like this, completely lacking in both actual writing ability and self-awareness. They get themselves 'published' on the internet (or by their mates) and then proclaim themselves writers (hell, they even have websites to prove they're writers!). I've seen them talking about themselves and their 'writing' with genuine seriousness, utterly oblivious to the fact that they have no talent (let alone any basic comprehension of the structure of language). I've come across several such people on other forums... it beggars belief, honestly. | ||
| Hubert (Hubert) Username: Hubert Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 78.22.237.98 |
I had to review a book once which was (take my word for it) an utter and absolute shambles, and you know what? I got several replies from disgruntled readers who thought I'd thrashed an inimitable work of art written by a promising new talent . . . | ||
| Huw (Huw) Username: Huw Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 61.216.36.215 |
It's one of the big drawbacks of the internet. Everyone has a voice, regardless of intentions or merit, and anyone, regardless of any actual ability, can set him/herself up as writer, and even make a decent enough looking website with which to bolster the illusion. Most of them are just kidding themselves. Some of the stuff I've read after following links on places like Shocklines is, frankly, laughable. Most of the time it's like reading a school assignment written by an unimaginative twelve-year old. | ||
| Joel (Joel) Username: Joel Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 91.110.216.159 |
The Internet is a latrine. Let's be honest. | ||
| Gcw (Gcw) Username: Gcw Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 81.156.42.111 |
"..The Internet is a latrine. Let's be honest." Yup. Couldn't agree more. I have become very cynical about the internet and some of the people that pollute it. If it wasn't for the decent people I meet here, I probably wouldn't have returned to it as the month I was away was refreshing and I was surprised how little I missed it. gcw | ||
| Joel (Joel) Username: Joel Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 91.110.216.159 |
Ironically, Matthew Holness, the actor and scriptwriter behind Garth Marenghi, is a genuinely talented horror writer – see his stories in BLACK STATIC 3 and AT EASE WITH THE DEAD. He's a lot younger than his character as well. | ||
| Albie (Albie) Username: Albie Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 195.195.236.131 |
"The lamp’s glow was very weak compared to the blue glow emancipating from the basement." BWAHAH! | ||
| Albie (Albie) Username: Albie Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 195.195.236.131 |
"On the controversial issues, he stands for the Death Penalty and Abortion. A fetus doesn't have a mind. It doesn't know it's dying. A killer doesn't have a mind, either, but at least he knows he's dying." http://aaronscryptofgorgothica.com/page3.html | ||
| Albie (Albie) Username: Albie Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 195.195.236.131 |
"Of all the things to think, he never thought he'd think that. " | ||
| Gcw (Gcw) Username: Gcw Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 81.156.42.111 |
It's brilliant isn't it? gcw | ||
| Huw (Huw) Username: Huw Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 61.216.36.215 |
I'm a Holness fan, by the way. Darkplace is great stuff! | ||
| Lincoln_brown (Lincoln_brown) Username: Lincoln_brown Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 124.181.180.50 |
'Darkplace' has only just started screening here - usually at 1.00 am! Great show. 'Garth' looks a lot like Ramsey - late 80's? Enjoyed the Holness story in AEWTD, would like to read more. | ||
| Mark_lynch (Mark_lynch) Username: Mark_lynch Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 212.74.96.200 |
Were Holness not a good writer he wouldn't have been able to make fun of such clangers in popular fiction as he did in DARK PLACE. My favourite was probably "He thought in his head", as opposed to the often used, "He thought to himself" which you see used endlessly. But everyone's got a blindspot for something. It's surprising how "sound waves" carry a cliche on beyond its time so that you don't even know it's a cliche and makes no sense. . . | ||
| Craig (Craig) Username: Craig Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 75.5.5.152 |
The review smacks of "protesting too much"; I wonder if it was written by the author himself. There's something wrong with a reviewer, pointing out those malapropisms, then attacking them so stringently. I don't need a reviewer telling me what's redundant or not. Someone's trying too hard to get me to laugh. Like a cat, I now yawn and slink away. | ||
| Mark_lynch (Mark_lynch) Username: Mark_lynch Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 212.74.96.200 |
Like a cat, I turn around and try to lick my bum. | ||
| Tony (Tony) Username: Tony Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 86.145.131.242 |
Craig; they did at least save us from reading it. | ||
| Weber_gregston (Weber_gregston) Username: Weber_gregston Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 83.98.9.4 |
http://insidethemindofaaronrayburn.com/ Check out this link. It should be enough to totally wipe out any thoughts of reading the book, if the review hadn't done that already. an extract from his excerpts page (which actually contains a summary of the plot, rather than an excerpt - once more this guy don't understand wot proper english is) "One evening, a bright blue light manifests in his closet. Mystified by it, Craig is drawn into the light and thrust into a world of darkness -- the Dark World, where a fabled Shadow God resides. Upon returning back to his world, Craig confides in his father, who is locked away in prison. His information is compounded by mysterious manifested creatures from the Dark World bent on killing Craig and his friends." UPON RETURNING BACK TO... Tautologically incorrect, one of my pet hates. Return means to go back to. To return back to - the word back is extraneous (there's a proper use of the word). You don't descend down a cliff face you descend it. My favourite bit from the esxtract - this made me laugh out loud - "Craig is drawn into the light and thrust into a world of darkness -- the Dark World,". There isn't a word in my vocabulary that describes how bad that sentence is. | ||
| Craig (Craig) Username: Craig Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 75.4.237.247 |
Craig; they did at least save us from reading it. I just get the impression, Tony, that that review was actually trying to entice readers, not turn them off. Which is not a sin; just something I find annoyingly manipulative. My brother works for a major advertising firm, and he's related to me in the past (<---note the hilarious misuse of the English language there  ) how deceptive the world of "getting the word out" can be. One campaign was to put up billboard advertisments. They then had the billboards graffiti-tagged - to draw the eye to it. The graffiti was also meticulously placed, to draw the eye specifically within the ad. I've heard of fake controversies ginned up, solely to draw attention to a movie, or a book.... I hate it. But then, what better way to sell a book, than to promote it as the worst book ever?... | ||
| Griff (Griff) Username: Griff Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 195.93.21.74 |
Bastards! | ||
| Tony (Tony) Username: Tony Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 86.145.131.242 |
Bless. http://aaronscryptofgorgothica.com/page3.html | ||
| Tony (Tony) Username: Tony Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 86.145.131.242 |
Yeah, Craig - that wouldn't surprise me at all. Creepy, actually. Just like hollywood blew up the twin towers so as to get some books and tv and movies out of it.  | ||
| Mark_lynch (Mark_lynch) Username: Mark_lynch Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 212.74.96.200 |
Why'd Hollywood send men to the moon so many times? You'd think once would be enough to fool the dumb people. | ||
| John (John) Username: John Registered: 05-2008 Posted From: 82.24.4.67 |
I just about choked laughing reading his bio, especially when I got to: "My all time favourite show is the Dukes of Hazzard." Apparently he's a prison guard. That scares me more than anything else... | ||
| Mark_lynch (Mark_lynch) Username: Mark_lynch Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 212.74.96.200 |
Beats all you ever saw. | ||
| John (John) Username: John Registered: 05-2008 Posted From: 82.24.4.67 |
I get the impression that the author is too witless to have thought up the cunning negative ad campaign we're attributing to him here. |