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Rhysaurus (Rhysaurus)
Username: Rhysaurus

Registered: 01-2010
Posted From: 212.219.233.223
Posted on Sunday, May 29, 2011 - 01:02 pm:   

It's confession time! Welcome to the confessional box, my children!

Who has the psychological strength to openly confess some of the nastier aspects of their characters? Who among you are the heroes, the brave ones, the mighty?

Conversely, who is too worried about damaging their paltry 'reputations'? Who are the tactical twats out there?

Let's find out! Let's confess!

Just state something deeply unpleasant about yourself that happens to be true. Don't be tactical about it. Don't underestimate or overestimate. Just confess. Go on, you know it makes sense! And even if it doesn't make sense, it's fun! And even if it's not fun, it's an act of daring and guts!

I would never ask others to do what I'm not willing to do myself, so I'll go first. Ready?

I wish there was a filter function on Facebook that only reported the bad news that other writers have (their rejections and failures) rather than their good news (successful sales to publishers, major book deal contracts, etc).

Now it's your turn.
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Zed (Gary_mc)
Username: Gary_mc

Registered: 03-2008
Posted From: 81.96.253.77
Posted on Sunday, May 29, 2011 - 01:25 pm:   

Well, that's a cop out, Rhys - I was expecting something really heinous.

Here's mine: I'm a "tactical twat".
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Gary Fry (Gary_fry)
Username: Gary_fry

Registered: 03-2008
Posted From: 86.31.139.112
Posted on Sunday, May 29, 2011 - 02:55 pm:   

I cornhole puppies.
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Hubert (Hubert)
Username: Hubert

Registered: 03-2008
Posted From: 178.116.58.66
Posted on Sunday, May 29, 2011 - 03:00 pm:   

I'm a misanthropist.
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Simon Bestwick (Simon_b)
Username: Simon_b

Registered: 10-2008
Posted From: 86.24.209.217
Posted on Sunday, May 29, 2011 - 03:02 pm:   

I microwave live hamsters. Partly for art (I'm hoping to win the Turner Prize for exhibited the dessicated remains) but mostly for fun.
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Simon Bestwick (Simon_b)
Username: Simon_b

Registered: 10-2008
Posted From: 86.24.209.217
Posted on Sunday, May 29, 2011 - 03:03 pm:   

'exhibiting the dessicated remains', that should have read. Bah.
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Gary Fry (Gary_fry)
Username: Gary_fry

Registered: 03-2008
Posted From: 86.31.139.112
Posted on Sunday, May 29, 2011 - 03:16 pm:   

Seriously, now:

I'm really annoyed by people who are prescriptive and claim a "God's eye view" on matters which are ultimately ascribable to turns of mind and character . . . but by claiming this, I become as prescriptive as the people I decry.

So suck on that, mofos.
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Des (Des)
Username: Des

Registered: 09-2010
Posted From: 81.155.107.43
Posted on Sunday, May 29, 2011 - 03:35 pm:   

I suffer the sin of denial, e.g. denial (repression, suppression) about the faults that beset me.

Until being stirred to think about it by this thread, I was even in denial about suffering that general sin of denial.

When eventually facing my faults on judgement day, I hope they will not be great faults, merely human faults.

(You will note, as I do, that I use the word 'suffer', not 'commit'. And 'that beset me' not 'that are mine'.).
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Carolinec (Carolinec)
Username: Carolinec

Registered: 06-2009
Posted From: 92.232.199.129
Posted on Sunday, May 29, 2011 - 03:48 pm:   

I'm old, fat and ugly, insecure, shy and have a tendency to engage in attention-seeking behaviours. Apart from that I'm perfect!
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Weber (Weber_gregston)
Username: Weber_gregston

Registered: 03-2008
Posted From: 109.145.133.174
Posted on Sunday, May 29, 2011 - 06:31 pm:   

I'm too lazy to finish most things that i st
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Craig (Craig)
Username: Craig

Registered: 03-2008
Posted From: 99.126.164.88
Posted on Sunday, May 29, 2011 - 07:01 pm:   

I am envious of hearing about others who get their big breaks in Hollywood, or seem to advance without really even trying (according to my surely flawed perspective). I'm envious of those who get their wonderful scripts lauded and passed around and sold, while my crappy ones go wanting....

Thankfully, I'm envious of no one on this board.
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Gary Fry (Gary_fry)
Username: Gary_fry

Registered: 03-2008
Posted From: 86.31.139.112
Posted on Sunday, May 29, 2011 - 07:43 pm:   

And he wonders why we all hate him . . . :-)
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Craig (Craig)
Username: Craig

Registered: 03-2008
Posted From: 99.126.164.88
Posted on Sunday, May 29, 2011 - 09:22 pm:   

But to get serious for a moment upon that joke, Gary....

Prose writing, I've always felt as being more about whatever it is you call it that enables one to create a great piece of work. I'm sure my naivete rules here too: I get the impression, for example, that the New Yorker won't ever publish a STUPENDOUS story by John Q. Nobody, but will publish garbagey-fuck from John X. Famouswriter.

My enviousness erupts whenever I'm convinced Hollywood has come closer to being 100% New Yorkers. The lower that percentage, the less dis-empowered I feel (as a writer).

I tend to think of, say, the horror fiction field as composed of, oh, a very low percentage of New Yorkers. Therefore, those who are excellent at what they do, indeed, rise to the top - those that aren't, don't.

Wherefore envy? Rather, marvel, bow, enjoy. Being mainly a reader here in this arena, that's what I normally do anyway.
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Ramsey Campbell (Ramsey)
Username: Ramsey

Registered: 03-2008
Posted From: 92.8.28.228
Posted on Monday, May 30, 2011 - 11:38 am:   

I killed my mother.
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Gary Fry (Gary_fry)
Username: Gary_fry

Registered: 03-2008
Posted From: 86.31.139.112
Posted on Monday, May 30, 2011 - 04:22 pm:   

*gulp*
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Craig (Craig)
Username: Craig

Registered: 03-2008
Posted From: 99.126.164.88
Posted on Monday, May 30, 2011 - 04:32 pm:   

And here I was worried about "compulsive masturbator."
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Gary Fry (Gary_fry)
Username: Gary_fry

Registered: 03-2008
Posted From: 86.31.139.112
Posted on Monday, May 30, 2011 - 06:28 pm:   

No need for a confession on that matter, Craig. It comes across in your body language. :-)
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Weber (Weber_gregston)
Username: Weber_gregston

Registered: 03-2008
Posted From: 109.158.59.89
Posted on Tuesday, May 31, 2011 - 01:04 am:   

And the smell...
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Joel (Joel)
Username: Joel

Registered: 03-2008
Posted From: 2.24.10.182
Posted on Tuesday, May 31, 2011 - 01:29 am:   

Ramsey, as you've made that statement I hope it's acceptable for me to say something about it.

I've read the essay (and the later addition) that you wrote years ago about your mother's death. From that, I gather that your mother died as a result of severe mental illness. You had tried very hard to persuade social services to help her, and they had refused. Afterwards, you felt that with more personal support from you, she might have got through it but for complex reasons, you had not said and done the right things. I hope that's a fair (if very brief) summary of what you've written before.

I know a number of people who have suffered serious mental illness, and it's fair to say that none of them received what, in retrospect, they would say was adequate support from their families. The impact of mental illness on family and other relationships is generally destructive. If you judge your own handling of the situation to have been bad, that's something only you can say but I would not say your behaviour was abnormal.

If you feel that comment is not appropriate, I'm happy for Gary to delete it.
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Ramsey Campbell (Ramsey)
Username: Ramsey

Registered: 03-2008
Posted From: 92.8.25.193
Posted on Tuesday, May 31, 2011 - 11:54 am:   

Thanks, Joel! I think she died because I abandoned her for several weeks at the suggestion of the person who was trying to handle her case, so that she would have no option but to depend on social services. I know this was the plan, but it didn't alter the guilt I felt and still (if more calmly) feel. Well, I suppose it's closer to resignation now, given that nothing can be changed.
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Gary Fry (Gary_fry)
Username: Gary_fry

Registered: 03-2008
Posted From: 86.31.139.112
Posted on Tuesday, May 31, 2011 - 02:43 pm:   

And little has changed in social services, either. One of the most heartbreaking interviews I've conducted in my job researching carer needs was with a woman whose eight year-old son suffered autism. In the house in which I conducted the interview, there was nothing below head height - pictures, the telly, shelving all mounted at the tops of each room; the kitchen cupboards had locks on them. This was because her son headbutted/smashed any and all furniture, and ate anything he could get his hands on, "from his own poo to bits of dried pasta." And social services had done nothing for her other than offer a few periods of respite. The line that really rocked me was when she was discussing being so desperate and unable to cope (her husband had had a mental breakdown) that she took her son to social services and threatened to abandon him there. She said, "You imagine how desperate you would have to be to say, 'You have to take my child because I can no longer cope.' "

Humbling.

These situations are harrowing and there's little the carer can do without buckling completely. Anyone in those circumstances, whether they stand or withdraw, deserves our respect and sympathy.
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Gary Fry (Gary_fry)
Username: Gary_fry

Registered: 03-2008
Posted From: 86.31.139.112
Posted on Wednesday, June 01, 2011 - 08:23 am:   

Mental health: what understanding we had just got unravelled in practice: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-13611298
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Joel (Joel)
Username: Joel

Registered: 03-2008
Posted From: 2.24.29.115
Posted on Wednesday, June 01, 2011 - 09:29 am:   

GPs are getting letters from the private company contracted to carry out the (non-medical) 'work capability assessments', telling them not to sign someone off sick any more because they have been proven fit for work. What's this about? First and foremost, cutting benefits to the most vulnerable people. Secondarily, pandering to a macho 'hit the scroungers' Daily Mail mentality. At the same time, the Government has cut staffing levels in the Inland Revenue, which is currently failing to collect 20 billion a year due to inadequate staffing levels. It's also cut corporation tax to its lowest ever level and scrapped the tax on bankers' bonuses. It's bonanza time for the wealthy. They've never had it so good. It's only the rest of us who are paying for the greed and irresponsibility of the bankers.
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Gary Fry (Gary_fry)
Username: Gary_fry

Registered: 03-2008
Posted From: 86.31.139.112
Posted on Wednesday, June 01, 2011 - 10:02 am:   

" . . . those with the largest shoulders should bear the greatest burden . . . "
-- Iain Duncan Smith, 2010
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Weber (Weber_gregston)
Username: Weber_gregston

Registered: 03-2008
Posted From: 109.158.59.89
Posted on Wednesday, June 01, 2011 - 10:08 am:   

A few years ago my mother was docked 15 a week from her IB because she refused to answer a question about whether or not she could wipe her own arse on the grounds that it was an intrusive and highly degrading thing to ask.

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